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About ladyturkey217

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    Gardening, my bulldog, reading, and probably watching too many reality tv cooking competitions ;-)
  1. yes, absolutley it's possible that the prozac is making your depression worse! Right on the paper that is attatched to all antidepressant prescriptions is a little warning about side effects, and it says that if you "experience new or worsening depression, suicidal thoughts, or mood changes" to talk to a doctor immediatley. Sometimes prozac is a wonder drug that pulls you out of depression and helps to move forward with therapy and support, but for some others the drug doesn't work properly, or in the same way. If the same pill worked for everyone, there certainly wouldnt BE so many! I took prozac for a year before i realized it was contributing to my mania! My new doctor and i looked at our choices for medicines and made a sort of pact, that we would keep trying -as long as I could stay on board- until we found a drug/therapy combination that worked for me. It took a little time, but he was right. Not everyone is the same, so we need to embrace our differences and bend accordingly. To me, it sounds like prozac isn't the one for you! but just because you've found something that doesn't work, don't let it make you think that nothing will! Go get yourself on the phone with your Pdoc and be honest about your symptoms. I know that if you stick to it, you'll be able to find something that can truly help you. Good luck! I feel oddly connected to you because i went through such a similar thing, so I hope you can let me know how it goes. Stay well, Liz
  2. aha! the name of the syndrome i was trying to figure out is "Weltschrerz". It translates into "world pain".
  3. Thanks everyone. I spoke with the hubby today, and while he seems a tiny bit better, he is still in the mindset that in 20 years or so society is going to crumble so there's no point in spending much effort on anything, unless it's learning a useful trade. This super sucks because he was a very talented computer programmer in the past, and he's now working for minimum wage in a hardware store. I'm glad he's till alive, and not talking at all of hurting himself, but I remain worried. He doesn't believe in mental illness at all, even though his very own wife is bipolar. He refuses to seek treatment of any kind. I can only hope that he can get help someday, but i'm not sure he ever will. depression, and all mental illnesses, really hurt the people around the sick person, don't they? Sucks. Thanks all for your words of kindness and advice. Maybe he will come around someday. Maybe not.
  4. I have Bipolar disorder, but my husband suffers from severe depression. It's somehow really easy for me to self-identify symptoms for myself, but I have a much harder time with him. Recently, his depression has become much worse, and he's moved away from home (although we're married, he's lived elsewhere for a year and a half), where I can't see him. We talk often, and although he realizes that his depression is an issue, he refuses to get help. It's very sad really. But that's not the point of the story today- He's been saying really weird things lately like "nothing i do matters, because nothing matters at all, because the whole world is going to shit anyway". When i asked him to clarify, he said "like end of the world shit, I'm just waiting for it at this point". Sooooo, yeah. I think he honestly believes that he shouldn't try to get better because the whole world is worthless, or going to end, or something. He is an atheist, so this isn't religiously based or anything. I feel like there's a name for this syndrome, does anybody know what it is? Also, I live on the east coast, he on the west. I am his wife, and hold all legal rights and stuff, do you think i can or should do something to force him to get help? Thanks everyone, I don't know what I would do without support like you. For realz.
  5. nothing like a holiday to make ya feel like shit, huh? me too. If i hadn't had to go to work today I'm sure I wouldn't have bothered to even get dressed. I read somewhere that July is one of the toughest months for depression- I'm beginning to understand that. i suppose it's good to know that I'm not alone in being alone... hope you get the same comfort out of this.
  6. I am so glad you posted this topic! I kind of always wondered if that was normal, as it has totally been my experience as well. I saw a friend for the first time in a year or so a month ago, and she told me some just TERRIBLE stuff I'd said to her/about her the last time we'd met- which was during my last hypomanic ep. I was so horrified, embarrassed, and shocked- I could barely apologize. My husband too often would ask me "why" I did something after I'd done it (i wasn't diagnosed with BP yet at all), and I could only reply that I didn't know, because trying to explain that I didn't remember scared the crap out of me. Maybe this is just part of the ride.... how fun.
  7. thanks guys! kind of ironic that the stress-meds are stressing me out so much! silly brain.
  8. so I've been given Klonopin to take "as needed" for anxiety and sleep issues. I am in an extremely stressful time right now between work, seeing people from my past that I've not seen for a while, my f'ing 29th birthday (ugh, how did THAT happen?!), and the upcoming appointment to get my stupid wisdom teeth out. (that one is a big deal bc i have SEVERE dentist related anxiety- I've had to be sedated by a doctor in the hospital bc of panic attacks at the dentist- yay). Anyhoo- the point of all this gab is that i find that i want to take a pill every night, i almost never take one during the day unless it's a dentist appointment or something. Is that too much? I just have to make it through the next 3 weeks of insurmountable stress- but people keep talking about dependency and it scares the pants off me! thoughts? L
  9. when hypomanic my BIGGEST symptom was engaging in activities that were just god-awful, terrible, very bad ideas. I started "sexting" everyone in my phone list, going out at all hours regardless of when i had to work, and at one point even trying to get one of my best girlfriends to have sex with my husband for his birthday. Awesome. Well, the husband left, and the friend was nice enough to forgive. the 20k in debt i racked up during that year was less kind though- I'll have that for a loooonnnngg time. when depressed i have just a total lack of desire to do anything. unless it means getting ice cream out of the freezer. Sometimes i'll even watch the same show over and over on tv (or even the on-demand screen with the annoying snippets of stuff you SHOULD be watching) for hours cuz i dont care to change the channel. depression sucks.
  10. Catnapper- thanks for bringing my attention to the sun issue. I'm mostly Italian so being out in the sun doesn't really bother me, so this year I've been headed to the beach to actually help this newfound acne problem, but it doesn't seem to be helping like it used to when i was a kid, and it might be even making it worse! I thought nothing of it till you said that. Merci Beacoup my friend! L
  11. so I've made it to my therapeutic dosage of lamictal- 200 Mg! yay me! I've had almost NO side effects from the drug, headaches in the beginning but they went away. Now I'm noticing that my skin sucks. Like tiny little bumps all over my face and chest that look like acne, but aren't really. I haven't had skin problems since i was like, 15- and I'm 29 this week! I had heard that lamictal can cause THE RASH, which i obvi do not have, but I'd also heard that it could cause other "skin issues". Is this normal? Anybody else lucky enough to look like a teenager again? will it calm itself down or should i break out the proactive? lol. thanks again ! L
  12. So my psychiatrist and I decided to start me on Lamictal about 2 months ago for BP2, and due to my just fabulous panic attacks and freaky stress levels, he also gave me klonopin to take as needed- nothing too major, .5mg. So at my first follow up appointment with him 3 weeks later, I told him the klonopin weren't really all that grand, and I remembered liking lorazepam which had once been prescribed to me by my PCP before my diagnosis (just 2 pills- ever) for a really scary dentist appointment. He shrugged and said I could totally have that instead. Well, now I know why. It's not nearly as effective as the klonopin for me in terms of calming me the heck down when I'm overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. But now here's the problem: I'm afraid to tell him i want the klonopin back because I am terrified he's going to think I'm a junkie or something! I feel like such a loser. Is it okay to ask him for the klonopin again? I was originally given just 30 .5mg tablets, and 9 weeks later i still have 3 left, so I know I'm not a junkie or anything... Maybe I've just watched too many ER episodes, and I worry that everyone is a junkie or lying. What do you guys think? and how should I ask?! My appt is tomorrow! THANKS!!! L
  13. hooray for lamictal! Since going on it 7 weeks ago, family and friends have told me they notice a difference. Cool!

  14. OMG, right?! Now that i have a diagnosis of BP, I keep looking back at all the crappy times i had as a teen: the depressions, the terrible choises i made with my boyfriend/ now separated husband, etc. I totally realize that you cant blame everything on the disease, but it sure is interesting to look back. what was just plain old teen angst, and what was more? I suppose we'll never know...
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