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About TheNewBlack

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  1. mynameisiforgot - I had a similar reaction when i was on Seroquel too. nasty, nasty tablets they were! I've been sick as a dog today, and am getting worse as the day goes on. Got the mother taking me up to a & e to get checked over soon, as am clammy and faint and just not feeling too grand. Think it must be some sort of allergic reaction. I feel like a fool for not clicking sooner, and i've scared the wits out of my mummy dear - she was under the impression that it's just last night, rather than the last week nearly, that this has been going on. Am just grateful that i'm still kind of with it and still here... Hmm. Never thought i'd say that! but ah well. these be strange times indeed. thanks for your replies. TNB
  2. I was started on this about 6 months ago at 15mg, and put up to 30mg about 4 months ago. Was fine, no problems, until the past few days, and quite frankly i'm crapping myself over it. I take the one tablet about 30 mins before settling down to sleep, but 10 mins after taking it, i can't breathe. I feel like there's a huge eff-off lump in the back of my throat and tissue shoved up my nose. Getting the tiniest bit of air in to my lungs is a massive effort, and it scares the hell out of me. It lasts about 10 minutes, and then i can't fight the sleep that follows, and i'm alright. Well, i keep waking up in the morning, so i guess i must be alright! This has been over the past 4-5 days or so. I've not been taking any other medication, herbal supplements, no dietary changes or anything else that could be causing it. Rang NHS direct and kinda cried down the phone at them a bit, and they've said that they don't know what's causing it, get in to see doc and stop taking mirt in meantime, so i've made an appt this morning for tomorrow, and just waiting basically. So, seems the meds that are supposed to stop me killing myself, are trying to do the job for me. Not fun. anyone else experience anything like this with Mirt? TNB
  3. Hey tryp and croix, thankyou for replying My head is pretty mashed at the moment as have taken my night-time meds and they're pretty insistent that i go to sleep, like, half an hour ago..... but just thought i'd update you. I'm still struggling with the urges, still as strongly as they were, and i'm wondering now if perhaps my meds have got something to do with it, as i've just had my dosage of seroquel upped and been started on mirtazapine. They're kinda screwing with my mood a bit, so i guess it's not too far a reach to think that they may be making this less easy for me to deal with too. I've managed to not cut so far though, so i guess i must be doing something right somewhere. Tryp - I did have a look at the self-harm alternatives, and they really have come in useful, you're right. I've actually bookmarked that page and have referred back to it several times over the past while. Croix - It did make sense, thankyou. I've tried to talk calmly to him, but i think there's that nervousness in my voice that gives off the impression of me being clipped and short with him. I've tried to explain that it's due to anxiety, but he's having none of it, so things were pretty much as they were. However, i've now asked him if we can have a couple days just speaking via written word (text, email, msn), and he's said okay, so it may help things to settle quicker this way. thankyou both again for replying. TNB
  4. Pretty rubbish. Am stuck on the sofa unable to move other than to hobble to the bathroom (only downstairs one, can't even think about tackling the stairs) or the kitchen. CFS is really playing up today, and got a friend rabbiting on at me about moving in together and i just don't want to, but she won't hear it. She's too full on and i'm getting to the point where i just wanna scream at her to f*ck off, cause i think that's the only way she'll listen to me. Grr. Got my duvet wrapped around me and am just gunna lose myself in a book for the day, i think.
  5. :Trigger: Okay, just wanna give warning that i'm pretty pissed off right now & what follows may be triggering for some to read. :Trigger: Really pissed off with my ex. He lives at the other end of the country to me (about 350 miles away), and he's been going on and on about moving up here.... Promises, promises. What a load of bollocks. I don't buy it. I've always been pretty open with him about my self harming behaviour, and urges to do so. We had a big row on Fri, and i'm STILL struggling with urges to SH now. Usually, if I can distract for a few hours, I find that my mood shifts and the urges either go away, or they're no where near as strong. Not this time. They've been pretty bloomin' constant since Friday mid-afternoon, and it's got to the point now where I'm feeling like i could try sit them out for ever and a day, and they'd STILL be there. It's really pissing me off. Also, i've noticed that part of me wants to cut, so when we speak next (there's been small amounts of contact between us since Fri, all of which is short, sharp and pretty snotty.) I can answer his oh-so-usual question of "have you done anything to hurt yourself?" with a yes. I wanna hurt me, I do, but also, i feel like i could hurt him too. Kind of, show him that he's hurt me, and hurt me to the point where the only way i can deal with it is by SH'ing. now, he HAS hurt me, and I DO have the urges because of the distress caused by our row, but i realise at the same time that it is ME and ONLY ME who makes me cut, i'm not trying to say otherwise. But, i kinda want him to know. Gah it's pretty messed up. It feels pretty fucked up to admit that, but it's the truth. It's only a small part of it, but it's there all the same. Anyone else get like this or thought anything along these lines themselves? I dunno if it's a common thing or what, but would be nice to know. TNB
  6. Hiya, and thankyou for welcome M.E is Myalgic Encephalopathy, also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Post-Viral Fatigue Syndrome. It's characterised by (oftentimes severe and debilitating) fatigue, painful muscles and joints, disordered sleep, gastric disturbances ( like IBS), poor memory and concentration, and is commonly brought on by a physical or emotional trauma, a virus, or an operation.There is no cure for it, but it can be managed and is not life-threatening. *takes off Know-It-All hat* Cetcat - thankyou
  7. I do this all the time... mostly without even realising it. I even get a bit narked when I notice people giving me funny looks, especially if I'm in town and it's busy. As a rule, if more than 3 people look at me as though I'm bonkers, I pay attention to what i'm doing.... 9 times out of 10 I realise I'm either chatting away to myself, singing to myself, or giving myself a good telling off. That other time? I'm really not sure... I guess I must just have one of those faces that it's impossible to resist going all goggy-eyed, confused and "wtf is going on there?!" over. My 4 yr old son is constantly saying "oh, mummy, please stop chattering.... I'm trying to paint and you're distracting me!" It's only then that I realise I've been locked in verbal combat with myself for the past ten minutes. Fun times.
  8. No, no, that's fine... Was something I was meaning to ask myself, so thankyou
  9. Ahhh, phew! Panic over. Thanks for clearing that up.
  10. ...This be me. That be my face when my son (he's 4) nabs my camera at 7am and threatens to take my lolly off me. That is NOT the way to make his mummy happy.... I think the glare gave it away.
  11. ......Have I broken one/more? Haven't done so intentionally if so.... I've had a quick look, but will go have another look now and hopefully rectify any mistakes. Thankyou for welcome.
  12. So... Turns out my living room isn't big enough to do backflips in.... Hello broken coffee table, hello bruised shins. Lesson learnt.

  13. Snugglepuss - that's really encouraging to hear, thankyou. SunshineOutside - haha, yeah... I think I'll give the bipolar a miss, if that's alright I'm glad to hear that it's helped you so much. Thankyou for the hopes for a great teacher.... I hope so too! I have heard mostly negative stories about it, so it helps to know that there's 2 people straight off that recommend it!
  14. Hi all. I'm currently waiting on an assessment with my Primary MH Care Unit to figure out what support I need, and something that has been mentioned a few times is DBT... I was wondering what anyone's experiences of this therapy are? TNB x
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