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About SugarBooger

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  1. For me, it's impulsive when I do something that really has a negative impact on my life. I'm an impulsive person anyhow, but when it's bipolar-y it gets destructive and yes, obsessive. For example, I like projects. I'm always working on something; it's quilting at the moment. When I'm impulsive I'll not only do quilting, but I'll do it for no reason, and I'll start four new quilts at once, and I'll spend a gazillion dollars on fabric. The new ideas keep rolling in and I am helpless to stop them. In the meantime I haven't finished a single quilt because the impulse to start new ones is overwhelming. Or, when I'm impulsive, I'll go shopping and not be looking for any one thing. I just go and buy everything that sounds good at the time. This leads to buying $300 worth of crap I wasn't even looking for. Normally, I only shop if I absolutely have to. It's not that I shouldn't be spending money, it's that I'm spending it for no particularly good reason. That kind of thing just really isn't in our budget, and so it has a negative impact. Lack of self control, on the other hand, is something more along the lines of eating in my mind. Even the occasional gorge-fest won't have that much of a negative impact on your life (I stress occasional!). Or, not doing laundry and playing on Facebook instead, or procrastinating on homework, you see what I mean? They make a minor impact on your life but nothing horrendous like overspending or burning out on projects or activities.
  2. Ha! I am a mother too and you just described my days! School demands are insane and I don't think you're abnormal for feeling this way. I don't know of any parents (well maybe one - and she is completely annoying) that don't feel the same way. I am notoriously bad about remembering every..single...little..thing that my kids bring home for me to do. I'm often rushing around digging for change at 7:30 in the morning so that they can buy pickles and popcorn on Fridays. (Yes, that is a thing!) Picture day? Forget it! I'm filling out those order forms as they're walking out the door and getting hand cramps from writing frantically fast. I think charts and lists are a great idea and I wouldn't feel childish using them. It's just another thing I forget to do - make them!
  3. Oh I've been there! So many times over the years I've wanted the respite that the hospital offers. Most recently was two years ago. I felt like I could get the emergency helps I so desperately needed there. Unfortunately it wasn't an option at the time and I was forced to power through it. I wish it had been different though. I think everyone misses the heady intoxication of mania. Remember though, it's great... until it's not. The fallout is tragic and just not worth the euphoria.
  4. I never have liked calling my doctor, so I'm with you there. I don't have a psychiatrist anymore - my general practitioner prescribes my meds for me. I don't call them, either, but I haven't felt the need to yet. I suppose if the shit went downhill I would have to, but it would be hard. It would be especially difficult because if I destabilize they'll send me back to one of the two very inadequate psychiatrists in this town and that is not ok with me. I think I would take a klonopin and wait it out for a day or two to see if that helped. But, I'm not saying this is a good idea. Calling your doctor is probably better than that plan. I did start taking abilify again after a couple months of being off of it. I was having some strange thoughts and wanted to knock that off before it got out of control. Side effects that are unacceptable for me include the high progesterone levels that risperidone created, and the zombie-like fugue from Geodon. I don't take klonopin often because it makes me drowsy unless I'm really wracked with anxiety - in which case it works fine. Other side effects that I have not necessarily had but would be deal breakers for me include: RLS, Rash, Mania, Debilitating Fatigue, and I'm sure there are others. I guess in summation I would say to please do call your doctor earlier rather than later. It's better to nip symptoms right away rather than suffering through them unnecessarily. Their job is to make sure you're healthy, and they need to hear from you to ensure that they do just that.
  5. It took me a lot of years, and a lot of medication combos, but I can confidently say that I feel "normal" the vast majority of the time. I still have my little quirks, but I am essentially happy, stable, and symptom free. I do get anxiety and take klonopin every couple of weeks or so. But, I've been diagnosed for 15 years and I've been on steady, regular meds for 5 years. I would say that I have reached "normal" just in the last year or so. Hang in there! It is a long road but stability is there, with patience.
  6. I have been taking Lamictal for several years now. I am not taking any antidepressants with it. Lamictal stabilized my moods very well without one. Lamictal does take a while to titrate up and for you to feel some relief from your symptoms, so hang in there. Personally I love the stuff. Good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon!
  7. Wow! This is amazing information! Thank you, I will definitely review this and see what I can do.
  8. Generally speaking, yes, a large percentage of people who are mentally ill, that do commit crimes, do so because of their mental illness. I would hesitate in saying they all do though. I would imagine that for some people the crime they committed had nothing at all to do with being mentally ill. I guess we would have to do a study on that, or find one that's already out there, to get exact figures rather than speculation. As far as going on a crusade - I don't think that is what I'm proposing. I would simply like to see media coverage of people doing well. That's a human interest story, rather than headline news, and it would unfortunately be overshadowed by the negativity in the press. However, by at least making an effort, I feel that I'm contributing rather than sitting back and lamenting the situation. What is it that people say, "Be the change you want to see"? I can do at least that. I agree that black males do get profiled automatically. Something needs to be done about that, too. And they are trying, but, just like us, setbacks happen and the media shows us that all black males are thugs. The answer is education, enlightenment, and treatment. I just wish I had more clout to get something started!
  9. I'm glad it's not just me! I want to DO something about this. I just don't know how. I'm brainstorming though because our voices deserve to be heard. We are not second class citizens, we are not dangerous, and we are capable of so much that people rarely give us credit for.
  10. Actually, I didn't see your blog! I'll have to look that up. I'm glad we're of the same mind. I have submitted my story request to several media outlets in the hope that someone will pick up the story and run with it. It would be fabulous to see a positive article in the media.
  11. I'm finding a disturbing trend in recent news stories of violent crimes. The perpetrators seem to all be labelled with a "serious mental illness" which is listed as either bipolar or schizophrenia. Even though many of these people haven't been diagnosed, even though some aren't bipolar or schizophrenic at all, they are lumped in with us automatically by the media. I'm disturbed by this because it reinforces the stigma that all "seriously mentally ill" people are dangerous. I feel even more in the closet than ever before. My diagnosis remains a secret to all but my family and one close friend. How do we convince the media to print stories about the success of people living with bipolar and schizophrenia who aren't a danger, who do contribute to society, and who do live a happy life? I want to start a movement, I do, but I'm afraid to put my name out there. I feel that my kids will lose their friends, I will lose respected volunteer positions and responsibilities, it will hurt my husband's military career and reputation, and I feel that future employers will decline to hire me. So how do we address this? Although reliable sources state that very few mentally ill people commit crimes, and are far more likely to be the victim, the impression of Americans - some 68% from the survey's I've read - is that we are not to be trusted. I think I'm going to write to a news outlet or two. This coverage and misinformation must be counteracted. Something has to change, or we will be victimized even more. The stigma is real, it's frightening, and even I, an affected person, worry now. Could I snap one day? Could I have hidden dangers lurking inside? We need to turn this around. Let's make something happen! Will anyone join me?
  12. I'm not on Geodon any more, but here is a link to the PubMed regarding the food issue http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19026256. It sounds like geodon is activating for you - for me it was sedating. Big time. Geodon and I didn't get along at all.
  13. In my experience the hunger wears off but the weight gain doesn't. I eat very little and still gain weight. It's unfortunate because like you, abilify has been great for me. I guess it's better to be happy than depressed and skinny. That's what I try to believe anyhow. Heh.
  14. I find talking to my therapist VERY helpful! She reality checks me, gives me coping techniques, great advice and has the sense to tell me when I should just tell someone to fuck off. I would absolutely call her if I was having a day where I needed to talk to someone. No doubt.
  15. I split my dose of Geodon. 20 mgs in the morning. 80 at night. I hate the "brain zaps" from the short half life. Asking to get off it next week.
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