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kaylight

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  1. Hi - I have not used this board in many years. I am 54 and have been dealing with increasingly worse episodes of seasonal depression as part of my bipolar disorder. The depression seems to start sneaking up on me in the beginning of Spring. I have a day here and there where my brain just feels like it's heading into the depression and then all it takes for a certain number of cloudy and rainy days to drive it into a full brain experience of pain and fatigue - and some suicidal thoughts because I am not sure how I am going to get through it all - again! I usually just put up with it and do the best I can to muddle through and take naps. Sometimes this severe depression will last halfway through summer to varying degrees. Sometimes it's more bearable than other times. I am never really sure about the transition though. it seems I start to feel a little better or I have a few hints of it and then suddenly the whole thing is lifted and I feel pretty normal and then start to get manic by late summer and Fall. This year, I am really just not into this at all. I had to move in with my elderly mother so that's been hard on top of the pandemic stresses and lack of social life and moving to a new city. So, I am not going to just go along with it. Today, after speaking with my doctor, I am going to increase my Lithium to 600 and am starting the lowest dose of Vrylar. If I am still not doing well in a few weeks, I am going to ask for ECT (which I have had a couple of times in my early 20's when they really zapped you hard to the point where you couldn't drive for weeks or remember who was calling on the phone.) It's interesting that you are using ECT for maintanence. I have heard of that and am willing to do it. I am just done not getting the relief I need. I admit I kind of gave up and just rode it out and now I want to do more. Also, sauna and swimming helps me some so I am going to get back to swimming. I bought a portable sauna. But none of the natural things really helps enough on their own.
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