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  1. My low self-esteem is getting the best of me. The negative self talk is setting in.

    1. surreal


      Well, cute boy is still talking to me. I was just giving in to negative self-doubt (again). Everything is okay. :)

  2. I've tried so many meds since about 6 years ago. I would make a list but I honestly can't even remember them all. I've even tried a tricyclic and that didn't work. :/ Yes, they seem extreme. But I found a book that lists recipes for an MAOI diet. I think I can abide by it (I hope). Sooo many. I'm not very stable right now. But my current meds don't seem to be helping as much as I thought. So I don't think there would really be much difference off them then on them. Yeah, I feel like it's something else. I feel like I have to lay down all the time because I'm dizzy, weak, and light-headed all the time. I hope your doctor hooks you up with an MAOI! I have heard and read they are VERY efficacious. But they are dangerous at the same time. But what have we got to lose, right?
  3. Omg omg omg. I went on a date! We kissed and cuddled etc. It was so nice. I came home to eat dinner and then I'm going over to his place for a bit. :D I feel so human right now!

    1. surreal


      My night turned out very well ;)

    2. DopamineSick


      That's great! 

    3. surreal


      Thank you friend :D

      I feel genuinely excited about life in some way right now. This is new.

  4. I don't know how much time I have left to wait for this medication to fully work. I am depressed beyond belief. I can barely function or get through the day anymore. I am thinking about asking for an MAOI or seeing my pdoc's perspective on an MAOI. I would rather do that then ECT.
  5. I developed Depersonalization/Derealization after consuming a marijuana edible and proceeding to have a HUGE freakout that landed me in the hospital. This was in March of 2016 and I still feel out of it, dizzy, spaced out 24/7. Any way, just looking for others who have this and can relate. I feel like I'm at my wit's end with all of this. I feel like this is going to be the death of me.
  6. I don't know if I'm going to survive this condition; and that thought, in itself, drives me further into the abyss.

  7. I'm not sure if this is depression or not. I also have depersonalization/derealization and that in itself makes me feel utterly hopeless. I just don't know what therapy or meds I need to beat this condition. - Feeling extremely hopeless - Daily suicidal thoughts on and off - Feeling helpless - Waking up everyday with a feeling of dread in my heart - Generalized anxiety - Panic attacks - Feeling like I'm half asleep - Dizzy all the time - Extremely unmotivated - Little to no interests anymore - Wanting to just stay in bed all the time Does anyone have any suggestions? I see my pdoc in one week. I'm going to emphasize how dreadful I feel. I just don't want to end up in the hospital. I really want to try Nardil. What meds have helped you?
  8. 1. Stay on current meds longer (give them more time to see if they work, as I have only been at 20 mg Trintellix for 2 weeks and 3 mg Rexulti for 1 week) 2. Clozaril/Clozapine (sort of scared of this option as well, but it's less invasive then ECT) 3. ECT if all else fails My case manager also mentioned TMS therapy but I'm not too keen on that so I didn't list it as an option. I read it's almost no better then placebo.
  9. Thank you for the info. It's definitely not a decision I am taking lightly. As of now, my options are: 1. Stay on current meds longer to see if they work all while suffering 2. Clozaril 3. ECT
  10. My therapist was out of the clinic today so I didn't get to meet with her. I did, however, get to speak with the medication nurse for a good 30 minutes about what has been going on. She emailed my pdoc about it and she's going to call me when he emails back. Hoping they can get me in sooner. I'm really scared of ECT. I was going to do it but now I think I am backing out. I am going to go on Clozaril first and see how that works.
  11. I feel like I've already said too much.
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