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About fuckthesystem

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  • Location
    San Diego, CA, USA
  • Interests
    dogs (my companions and agility sport teammates :), responsible drug use, all types of music, all areas of psychology.
  1. Hey guys, I'm new to the CB. I posted to the "Introductions" forum yesterday and then looked around and this seemed like the right place for me to start. I went back and forth between binge eating, compulsive exercise, and bulimia through my teenage years. Then I found drugs... I'm 22 now, and on a daily basis, I'm currently addicted to: cigarettes alcohol hydrocodone almost anything speedy I can get (adderall, cocaine, ecstasy, or research chemicals- namely MDPV and mephedrone) I also tend to smoke cannabis a few times a week, but I don't consider myself addicted to it in the same way I am to the four I just listed, because there are no noticeable withdrawal effects from it. I know my substance abuse is not helping my issues, but I really don't know where to start. So I'm here. I left my last psychiatrist a few months ago, but I'm still interested in looking for professional help somewhere (NOT anonymous groups... been there, done that).. so I'm looking forward to getting some advice here. -FTS
  2. Hey guys, Thanks for all the welcomes, it means a lot to me. @bpladybug: Right on. My username come from one of my favorite hardstyle techno songs which is actually called "FTS" @sheila2050: It's really inspiring to hear someone who's recovered after having been where I am currently with my alcohol abuse! Congrats on 19 years @everyone: I know substance abuse isn't going to solve any problems for me, but I don't know what else to do with myself while I'm trying to get up the courage to hunt down yet another psychiatrist (I've been through 4 now...). I hope I can get advice on where to go from you guys on the CB.
  3. Hey there. I'm a 22 year old female borderline (as I suspect) and social phobic. I've been treated for bulimia, substance abuse, and bipolar (I'm a college psych major and I've done a lot of research trying to figure myself out, but my psychiatrist did not listen to me when I tried to tell her my mood swings were too quick for bipolar). I started having binge eating issues when I was about 12, which progressed to more emotional issues, bulimia, alcohol and drug use... it's not a fun life. I left my last psychiatrist because (like I said before) she would not listen to me and seemed extremely apathetic and irritated with me all the time (I don't really blame her, I feel the same). It seemed silly to keep spending so much money to get help from someone like that. I still live with my mom, who can't stand me because I'm so moody. But I can't afford to move out because I spend too much on booze and drugs... I've had the same job for 4 years, and a really cool dog who's my best friend. Those are about the only things I have going for me. I have no friends outside of the people I talk to at work and at class, a few ex boyfriends I occasionally hookup with, and the people who I buy drugs from (some of those people overlap). I escape in music and drugs. I've been known to self-injure or threaten suicide when things get really bad. I guess that's all. I'm not really a bad person, I'm just looking for some support and advice. I don't know where else to go.
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