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fantod

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About fantod

  • Rank
    the wrong kind of crazy

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  • Gender
    Unicorn
  • Location
    blanket fort

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  1. I hate small talk yet still do this when very feeling stressed. It's like I'm reverting to childhood when I was trained to make conversation for guests. Looking back, I wonder about the methods my parents used to teach their children. Be polite and entertain Mx. Whoever, or else.
  2. yes overall very good stuff though "take a nap" is a bit rich for those who cannot sleep (i understand where it comes from, PLEASE skill, sleep hygiene etc) (just when you can't sleep, you.... can't sleep.) (personal issue of the present time)
  3. 7 days 3 hrs sleep/night

    50mg  seroquel is all?

    pdoc is leaving practice

    fml

  4. i need to sleep.  hyperarousal beckons psychosis

    take care, all

  5. I cannot believe that provoking someone for your own gratification is part of "love".  No matter what they keep telling me. 

  6. Feel like everything is sinking inward.  I have things to do.  Doing them seems futile. 

    1. Bad Haiku

      Bad Haiku

      It's worth it to do them, no matter what your head tells you.

    2. fantod

      fantod

      One second at a time. 

  7. nope.

    1. fantod

      fantod

      or mostly nope.

  8. Things would be much less stressful if I knew I had any kind of financial safety net, could afford all the mental health services and physical medical procedures I need, and could afford to relocate without being at someone else's mercy. It would be interesting to learn how much my mental health might improve in those circumstances.
  9. Crappy and tired and worried. Also, thwarted: I took my sleep meds and got ready to turn in, and found the cat sleeping in the exact middle of the bed using every blanket.
  10. I'm sorry you haven't gotten any responses yet, dances. I have found soulcysters.com to be a good resource. In the past they've had fairly active forums, though I haven't been in a couple of years, so take with grain of salt. People there were supportive and knowledgeable. Also hormonesmatter.com. https://www.hormonesmatter.com/search/pcos My case, if it even is one, is on the atypical end of things. Only one of about a dozen GPs has dxed me with PCOS. Literally I do have polycystic ovaries as my scans revealed many cysts but I always get my period, don't have especially heavy body hair growth or elevated androgens or blood sugar issues or most of the other common symptoms. There can be a lot of symptom overlap with depression and anxiety.
  11. here's to a better year than 2018.  somehow.

    1. yarnandcats

      yarnandcats

      *eyeballs 2019* hmm. it's looking more interesting, which might be a curse instead. ah, well.

  12. i'm sorry, crow66. wellbutrin is failing me all over the place too. 300 mg xl & it's like... i'm taking an antidepressant? could've fooled me. and the seroquel. fell asleep for a couple of hours, nightmares/intrusive shit woke me. insomnia now in the small hours and i will have to start what promises to be a very unpleasant day in 3 more hrs. rev up for the morning while desperately tired and fighting the sleep that i'm sure will try to take me down at dawn.
  13. can't balance seroquel with posting. or with life at all really.
  14. been feeling depressed and inarticulate; procrastinated myself out of making a couple of phone calls today. i practice-called and worked through the voice menus, so i know what to expect later "when" i complete the calls. sliver of credit to me for that, i guess. the midterm ballot for my region includes about 20 incumbent vs write-in candidates, about all of whom i know nothing. and am unlikely to be able to learn or retain anything by the time i will have to vote. i'm trying to work out how to ask the election office if failing to vote on these 20 would invalidate my entire ballot. while also trying not to despise myself for my ignorance and lack of involvement. no matter how important something is, i can find a way to fall short.
  15. confused, my skin crawled at your description of that DBSA facilitator. he does sound very inappropriate, gossipping, dxing, acting like he has answers for you(!). he's violating a lot of group rules. is there a way to lodge a complaint? i would guess that you are not the only one who feels uncomfortable or harmed by his behaviors there.
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