fantod
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my apologies
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what's your social anxiety look like?
fantod replied to dancesintherain's topic in Social Phobia - Behind Paranoid Eyes
Thanks for this thread, dances. I'm default afraid of all humans, but I'm a lot less afraid of people I know I won't have to interact with on more than the most superficial level and likely never encounter them again. Existing in a large crowd with near zero social expectations (concert, Ted Talk) I only have the low-level fear I have all the time (what if there is a mass shooter at this event, that kind of thing; I live in the USA). Anxiety greatly increases when I know there's a significant chance of someone asking me anything personal at all, or of me being expected to ask someone else something personal. For example I'm terrified of my family and of everybody in my apartment building. I'm only mildly worried about fellow passengers on the train. -
& now Planned Parenthood. Yes, I should have been aborted.
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Can I just go live on the farm, or do I have to date the farmer? The angle that ad's shot from makes it look like a small farm animal could be the photographer.
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Seroquel bumped up from 50mg to 100mg and with it the nightmares are back and bad. The terror symptoms are not, somehow (prazosin?). But I've been having intrusive flashes from the nightmares ever since and I'm afraid to go to sleep.
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Prazosin's been a godsend, part of my nighttime cocktail for a few years. Despite whatever is happening with Seroquel or my nervous system here with the recent nightmares, Prazosin seems to be keeping the physical night terror symptoms tamped down. So I'm still experiencing relief from physical symptoms like profuse sweating, waking up crying, and waking up screaming. That's not happening right now. It's only the subject matter of the nightmares is awful again and I'm bombarded with intrusive memories of those nightmares during the daytime.
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Still scared and angry. I have so much trouble remembering my own actions. If I'm not 100% mindful, like, consciously, intently thinking about everything I do, I won't remember things like if it was me who tracked mud on the floor or if maintenance might have entered my apartment and not notified me. The dishes get washed but I don't remember washing them.
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A week can be a really long time when you're waiting for symptom relief. I'd be frustrated getting that news too especially if the doctor seemed less engaged than usual. I can't sleep. Stress ftw.
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Likewise, though I know some of my reasons: it's a 3-hour trip, and I do not like my pdoc, and most of my psych meds have not significantly helped me in my 20 years in the MH system so I am highly skeptical that any meds really ever will. Prazosin slays about half my worst night terror symptoms, so there's that. How did it go?
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Scared and angry. If I have to be alive, can it be in pre-law society so I can physically defend myself from whatever tries to forcibly enter my lair?
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it's the most stre-e-ssful time of the year. bite me, xmas music already.
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I do not like small talk, do you?
fantod replied to CookieN's topic in Social Phobia - Behind Paranoid Eyes
I hate small talk yet still do this when very feeling stressed. It's like I'm reverting to childhood when I was trained to make conversation for guests. Looking back, I wonder about the methods my parents used to teach their children. Be polite and entertain Mx. Whoever, or else. -
yes overall very good stuff though "take a nap" is a bit rich for those who cannot sleep (i understand where it comes from, PLEASE skill, sleep hygiene etc) (just when you can't sleep, you.... can't sleep.) (personal issue of the present time)
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I cannot believe that provoking someone for your own gratification is part of "love". No matter what they keep telling me.
