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moonfish

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About moonfish

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    it's scienteriffic!

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    Unicorn
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    Pennsylvania

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  1. I haven't posted here in a long time but I am back with some more questions, because I feel like this is the only place that really understands, in a way, and has frank and valuable discussions about mental illness. Basically I had been working with a really great new psychiatrist until I had to move to another city. (which is a whole story on it's own I guess) and I've been having one hell of a time finding a new psychiatrist. Almost NONE of them here take any kind of insurance, under the guise of "patient privacy", but I finally found one who takes insurance and I had my first appointment on Wednesday. Now, my partner sees this same guy, and has had a lot of... very unfortunate stories about the practice, but seems to magically be totally stable on the first things she tried and thus only sees him for refills. When I got there, I pretty much only saw the nurse practitioner, which wouldn't normally be a problem but he only asked me a handful of questions, and decided a new medication I should try, and I saw the actual psychiatrist for about 2-3 minutes tops, with the whole visit lasting about 15 minutes.. Now... I've seen a couple pdocs in the past, and the intake appointment has always taken at least an hour, with the doctor also requesting my old information, past diagnoses, my medical history.. etc. None of this happened, and when I asked about it, they said they didn't need any of it. I'm just to change my medications to some new stuff and come back in 2 weeks. (To go off the Zoloft and start Trintillex) Does this seem... odd to anyone else? The pdoc I was seeing previously was really working hard with me to figure out stuff and finally started considering my autism as a real barrier in my treatment, and also was the first to suggest ADHD as a concurrent problem. I'm just concerned that he didn't... care at all about my history or issues in my life. Is this what other people actually experience? Is this actually normal and I just had some unusual pdocs in the past?
  2. Thanks to everyone who replied to my thread about coming off Celexa/starting Lexapro. I really appreciate it, I've been on the Lexapro for a few days now and hoping for the best. Gonna see my pdoc next week. I've been having these brain zap/heart palp things a lot though, and I have experienced them for years... probably almost as long as I have been taking medications. (9 years or so) I've felt them most strongly when I miss a dose of my meds (usually SSRIs, I've been on a few different ones) and sometimes if I get really crappy short sleep. So um, I've never talked to any doc about this because it's hard to explain and it's kinda weird, but I wondered if these were the so-called brain zaps I've heard a lot about, especially in relation to SSRIs. It feels like a heart palp with the blood wooshing through my head, and a kind of popping sensation and sometimes gives me prickles down my arm. They last a few seconds at most. They make me kinda anxious and feel weird. In the time I've had these I've had various testings and doc visits and so far they haven't seen anything wrong. So.... I just wanted to know if this sounds like a brain zap thing to those of you who might have experienced them in the past. I will admit part of my flavor of crazy is health anxiety/hypochondria so I'm nervous about asking things like this. But thank you for reading anyway... even if this is something you've had to answer a billion times... shy lurkers like me really appreciate it
  3. Well now I feel silly. But hey.... you could say I'm titrating up Lexapro, since going from nothing to something would count That'll teach me to use them big wurdz what I seen on the internetz.... He didn't give me any reason for it that I know of. I didn't find out until doing some research after the visit that they were very similar in make up. Maybe it was the dose I was taking, since I think 40mg Celexa is a relatively higher dosage, and then I would be switching to a smaller dosage of Lexapro to start with? I can ask I guess. I didn't end up calling today cos wow executive dysfunction is awesome but I can try tomorrow, or I can basically barge into his office since I have to see my tdoc tomorrow, and her office is in the same building as my pdoc. (how convenient!) But thank you for the replies, again. (Even you Elvis, cos I learned me something!!)
  4. I've cried like 20 times in the past couple of days, that may be because of med changing I guess, but man, depression sucks. Tired of how depression seems to be seen as just a bad mood you can snap out of, even by other MI people.... (not here obv)
  5. Anything to make sure we get a chance to take a stab at the mentally ill and excuse endemic racism and anti-blackness....
  6. Ugh... how do I know I'm not making all of this up?? Maybe I'm just imagining it? I guess I can try calling my pdoc tomorrow, he keeps kinda weird hours but I hope he would be able to get back to me. If not, then on Wednesday. The titration has been 5 days of half the original dose, then 5 days of half of that dose, then starting Lexapro. I don't know if that is too fast or too slow. When I was going from Zoloft to Lexapro a number of years ago I was taking a small dose of both at one point. Tomorrow is the first day of the quarter-dose. Thanks for your replies!
  7. I think CB is trolling me, I was responding to this thread earlier but had to get up, and now there are new replies that have been rearranged o_O Or I really am nuts. Sucks about the library timing. At mine the computer kicks you off after I think and hour and a half, but then you can wait a few minutes and sign back on, as long as there aren't people waiting to use them. If there are any crafts you are potentially interest in, like drawing, crochet, sculpting, electronics, etc I can see if I can work any angles to get you some supplies without spending money. Drawing can be nice cos I can stay in bed and draw too... haha.
  8. So last week my pdoc wanted me to switch from Celexa to Lexapro, which I have not ever tried. I didn't think the Celexa was working so well for me anymore. Maybe. I have no idea how to tell these things. How do you tell if something isn't working when everything basically feels the same no matter what? Or am I just too stupid to make myself feel better? I'm titrating off Celexa until Saturday, and Sunday is when I start the Lexapro. But man, I'm struggling really badly. Endless suicidal ideation, irritattion, brainzaps/heart palps, feeling even worse than I have in a very long time. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm at work and every single tiny thing is making me want to scream and claw my skin off. What am I supposed to do during this time?
  9. Sorry, I didn't know you were limited to a phone only. Coloring and drawing can be nice. Pencils/pens and a blank notebook can only cost a couple bucks at a dollar store or something. It sounds like you are really under some extremely strict limitations in your life, so I'm not sure what I can suggest that wouldn't have a catch to it.
  10. My best suggestions for now: The "Classic" version of Minecraft is free to play. Steam also has a number of free-to-play games. There's always the library, and even if you can;t access it, I know most libraries have a mail feature for patrons who are disabled or homebound, as well as having e-books and maybe even e-audio books, which might be better for you? There are sites like LibriVox that have free open-source audiobooks as well. There are lots of drawing tutorials online and a lot of free art programs you can experiment with, like: Krita, openCanvas, GIMP, Paint.NET, ArtRage, etc. Heck you don't even need to draw, you can manipulate images and make collages and stuff. I watch a lot of youtube vids.... I need a LOT of activities happening to keep the crazy at bay usually. Im sorry if this isn't helpful....
  11. I don't wanna jump to any conclusions for you, so I wanted to ask if you had a buck or two to spare (like $1-5), or if you are looking for only things you can get for free.
  12. For me they seem to be extreme dizziness, hyperventilating, dissociating, racing/pounding heart, feeling paralyzed (or maybe more that if i move i will die or something) sometimes chills. the celexa & klonopin have helped a lot with it... before meds i was having panic attacks hours long every day.
  13. I have a lot of hangups about hygiene... I was absolutely the gross, smelly kid in grade school with ratty hair and unbrushed teeth, i look back and wonder why my parents didn't seem to bother at all with teaching me basic hygiene and helping me with it?? i don't remember much of anything about being a child. it wasn't until highschool i realized this wasn't normal and that I needed to pick it up or else. so now i absolutely cannot go more than a day without a shower, the shame and guilt end up heavier than the apathy and fatigue.
  14. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't know they changed things. It looks like the changes already took place last month, so I don't know what this will mean for you. I don't know when you can talk to your gdoc next. I'm sorry I just made it worse for you. Please hang in there. I will try to do what I can from the US to raise awareness about this gross breach of human rights. You deserve the right care.
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