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Night in Juniper

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    Southern US
  1. Hi confused, Yea- the whole thing with the repetitive work alone... where is that job? My doctors submitted that I shouldn't be working with the public and limited working with supervisors and coworkers (basically, I should be considered fully disabled), but what job doesn't ring up or serve customers at some point? What job doesn't have coworkers or supervisors checking in regularly? Why is it that a judge's opinion can outweigh the opinion of two doctors? I understand that everyone cannot be approved, but this was clearly wrong. Hi surreal, My lawyer said that there is another appeal available- a review appeal of the judge's decision. They told me that this can be a very long and difficult process as well, possibly taking up to another two years. This is the sad truth but it would help my case to schedule a $200 doctor's appointment every month and be admitted to the hospital regularly. Obviously, I can't afford to do that. This has put my family in a really tough spot.
  2. Thanks for your thoughts. My doctor and even their own psychologist thought that my case would be a win. Sure, I can work a few hours, but I can't support myself under the SGA requirements. So both doctors did say that I couldn't work enough to get by. My lawyer can appeal this, but after the admin law judge stage in my state, I am advised that it could take another 2 years to come to fruition. And it is essentially the difficulty of getting another judge to say that this judge did a bad job. Anyway, that's the next step if anyone wonders.
  3. Hi all, I just want to say thank you for the support you have popped in with about your SSI and SSDI processes. Many of you have had success, so I had hope. My case started in early 2013. It has taken until this month to get a final decision letter that even the administrative law judge turned me down. She was looking for hospitalizations, periods of time where I had to leave my home and go to a care facility. Because these things did not happen, they did not suggest 2-3 major periods of downslide per year. (I understand it that these are not universal stipulations)! I DID visit my doctor for crisis visits to keep me out of the hospital- one, because he does not like to admit, and two, because I have no insurance! She actually said that my visits were too few. SSDI states that a person may work to keep their head above water (up to a certain amount of $ earned), which I have had to do. I shared, in depth, my limitations with that and why I could not just increase it to full time or we wouldn't be sitting there. She said since two professionals agree that I can't work with supervisors or the public well and advise against it, she has three jobs I could choose from. Thus, this is one reason for denial. Has this lady read the manual? I was allowed to work some hours to keep ourselves a float. Working 4 days a month is not suggestive of one's ability to work 40 hours a week! The jobs she listed are jobs I have no qualifications for, the type of work is not available in my area, and they are below my pay rate. But thats okay, leave a frequently suicidal Bipolar patient to completely change something in their life and see how long it takes before I'm at the hospital for real this time, insurance or not. I feel so dehumanized. I have worked for these benefits! Just... have hope but never let it burn too strong.
  4. Hi Sentinent Tim, Boy... I feel your pain. This is the dumps right here. I was just denied my SSDI for Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, PTSD. My case started in early 2013. You are right though. I'm not sure what else you can do but apply again if you deteriorate (per their standards) if you've used all of your appeals. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.
  5. I'm wondering how you're doing as well. Seems like no set idea on how long the decision takes. I wasn't aware that it could take up to three months! I swear, they are trying to debase us and put us on our last straw. My hearing date is finally set for a few months from now after over a year of waiting specifically for a hearing. All I can think about is how I'm going to get denied. I'm just trying to draw from everyone else's strength. I'm afraid they'll wear me down to tears.
  6. That's a fair question. My anxiety goes from slighly to "I need my own corner" level. Used to be that 3mg/day would help that heaviest. Now the Klonipin stopped helping even the small anxiety. So I had an emergency appointment with my pdoc, and he wants me taking 0.5 Xanax up to four times daily. That's barely cutting it, so I just wondered if tolerence was ongoing or if taking a med with it could help, or if it took time off of it to help, or what. Ugh, I've had 3 emergency appointments with him in the past 3 or 4 months and I can't afford another fit-in.
  7. So I've never abused my benzodiazepines, which have mostly been Klonipin for the past several years. Before that, Xanax nearly floored me from a 0.5 mg tablet. My Klonipin is prescribed at 3 mg/day max. I haven't been faithful to that at all. But suddenly, every pill I put into my mouth was doing nothing. My symptoms weren't being treated and the pills could have been candy for all it mattered, and thats after 1-3 mg a day to every 1-3 days. So my pdoc prescribed Xanax, which as I said, used to floor me. Its taken 2.5 mg to slightly feel the help from it. That's just abnormal since I've never been a faithful user. Do we know if tolerance lasts for good or if there is a way to break the tolerance down and get to the place of a small dose helping again? Thanks!
  8. Well I hope they'll also listen to how I have to get the kid out of the house and to school so she doesn't see me dissociating, closing myself off and not meeting her needs, sleeping because my medicine is heavy but must be taken. And how many people with a disability can't put a bag of chicken in the microwave or toss it in a crockpot to cook on its on all day? I mean some, but c'mon. Sorry, I just grr! Thanks for listening. I am sure you are concerned too?
  9. I'm another one piping up here. I actually have one child by adoption... if it were biologically, it probably would have been the ultimate disaster. All of those hormones and having to withdraw from dangerous meds for a developing baby. Anyway, it is a known fact in my family that I have to have my recovery time. Though she goes to school M-F, I also watch my nephew some during the week and I'm not a kid person. The thing is that I didn't know that until I had a kid! I've always joked that its like mountain climbing. You can be stoked to go, but if you get there and its not for you, you can decide never to do it again. And you can't do that with kids. Any little thing can throw me off sometimes as well. In order for me to work one day a week at my professional job, everything else has to fall in to place during the rest of the week. I have also wondered if I am lazy, but I have come to the conclusion that it is not normal to pain this way if a little thing changes up.
  10. I wish you all the best! I am about 17 months in on my application for the stage of an ALJ hearing. What a bunch of!
  11. Wishing you the best! I am waiting for my ALJ hearing-- 17 months in or so since I applied for this particular step. Its ridiculous. And if they are looking to hear that I can't cook and can never drive a car to take my kids to school, I'll be in trouble. I really wish you well!
  12. I have found this frustrating. Its an easy guess to take it with dinner, but when one has side effects from the med... For instance, I am prone to panic attacks about 30 minutes to a few hours after I take Latuda. It was why I had to quit it once despite it helping, and why it is hard to maintain it now. If I take it with dinner, which is anywhere from 5:30 to 7:30, I will put myself in that panic attack vacinity before bed. But if I wait until after dinner, I'm having to eat 350 calories before bed every night. Aside from worrying about weight gain from that, I have found it hard to find healthy food to cover that. My go-to has been a healthy enough nutrition bar like Luna, Larabars, or Kashi. BUT, it doesn't have enough calories. With a small glass of milk, it works. If at all possible though, I'd take it with dinner.
  13. Oh, this med is rocket high! Over $1,000 US at Kroger is the price the insurance has to pick up on. Depends on your MG.
  14. I've moved up from 20 mg, 40 mg, 60 mg to staying steady at 80mg of Latuda for severe bipolar depression. It has been two or three months now. I noticed it cutting through my depression about two months in when I stabilized on the 80mg dosage. This hasn't been long at all but I haven't picked up any pounds. Pdoc says its weight neutral. I keep reading that its weight neutral. The only side effect I've had are those crazy panic attacks that were mentioned above, but once I skipped from 40 to 80 the panic has pretty much stopped. Wish you all success with this!
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