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david 45701

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  1. I mostly hear music in my head right now I'm hearing Carry On My Wayward Son by the band Kansas.I sometimes hear like radio stations in my head.They don't really bother me.I went to my pdoc yesterday and he prescribed new med for me called Saphris.And today I feel like the government or someone or something is watching me and wanting to control me.I did not go to the Obama speech here in Athens Ohio yesterday but others have told me how it went.
  2. I as of yesterday am on a new med Saphris.Dr S took me off Zyprexa and put me on Saphris.Today I feel like the government is watching me again.President Obama was here in Athens Ohio yesterday and I did not go.I'm also hearing music in my head again I'm hearing Carry on my wayward son by the band Kansas in my head right now.And I feel like I'm being watched.I've been wondering if anyone else was on Saphris here at Crazya Boards.I was taken of Zyprexa because of my glaucoma and it's getting worse my glaucoma.The pressure has been up the last two times I've visited my eye doctor so he is sending me next month to a glaucoma eye specialist in Columbus Ohio.Actually in Reynoldsburg a suburb of Columbus I go to behind Mt Carmel East Hospital in Reynoldsburg Ohio.I go on the 13th of next month. I missed Obama's speech yesterday but the helicopters of one which he was in flew over my trailer yesterday but I did not see him.His helicopter is called Mariene 1. When Bill Jefferson Clinton was President of the U.S. he said that he once smoked marijuana but he did not inhale leading the the running joke of the song paradoy called Inhale to the Chief. I was wondering if others are on Saphris and what their experiences on it have been.
  3. I have not had flashbacks recently.But I have been smoking marijuana recently.Something I haven't told my pdoc.I had a bloodtest done for my Depokote level recenlty during the period that I smoked the pot.I see my pdoc in October.I go get a vision field test on the 26th of this month.I have glaucoma and it was inherited from my great grandfather who I was named after.He also had type one Diabetis.My mom has type 2 diabetis,. I've smoked marijuana recently and now my supply has been cut off do to the firing of the guy from the agency.I was highly paranoid while I was smoking and I was not sleeping at night all I was doing was eating and drinking.I have been clean from THC for two weeks.But the pot cut back on my PTSD and thoughts of harming myself.My supplyer is a ex Mariane who was stationed in Iraq guarding bases and he was also at this time employed by Halliburton.He got his supply from somewhere but where I do not know.I think though now my eye pressure will be down because of smoking weed but the paranoia that came with smoking weed was too much to bear.And the sleepless nights did not help my paranoia either.But I've been sleeping good recently.And my mood has been improving. A local fracking protester is being charged with inducing panic by sitting chained at a local injection well.She should have only been charged with disorderly conduct or trespassing but instead she is being overcharged with inducing panic by the local prosecutor.My friend Windwalker agrees that she is being overcharged and that it was not the local protestor who induced panic but the drilling company that induced panic.And I agree,.She should not have been charged with inducing panic.She should have only been charged with misdeamors instead of a felony.And I agree that she has the constitutional right to protest the oil well injestion site.
  4. Sometimes I feel like people are watching me and they want to hurt me.I call this my Spidey sense.It is a paranoia that i have then I begun hallucinate and think I see people who want to hurt me and to harm me.Then i feel like I'm going to have a grand mal seizure.I don't like the feeling.
  5. Oh Adam first man I worship you for what you did To create you and me You are Lord of all YOu were the first man With a celestrial body And you walked amongst us And you brought Eve from another planet You both tended to the garden of Eden Till you and Eve fell Then you both became gods And you became the arch-angel Michael And the Ancient of Days And you sit on the judgement seat For all of us The first god amongst men -David H
  6. The meaning of life is 42 now what is the question.That is from the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.I haven't seen that movie in years though.;I'd love to pick it up on DVD
  7. I have a big trigger for fathers day.;My father is dead and he never repaired the bridge that he burnt with me and my mom.He abandoned me on the day of my birth for his already made family of four.He died about 15-16 years ago.He died from throat cancer from smoking.And my brother died soon after my father died.And my sister tried to kill herself after my dad died.My dad was the abuser.My brother who died grew marijuana plants in his trailer with my sister in law.I do not get along with my sister in law she thinks she knows it all.She remarried the guy she broke up with to be with my brother who died.She is also nosy and likes to stick her nose into others businesses.But she's the one who told me who my father was when they were burring him.That's when I found out I had brothers and a sister.I always thought that I was a only child and I was not.
  8. I've been on wellbutrin before and it made me manic.The mania lasted about two months before I was put on Geodon and taken off Wellbutrin.I really liked the euphoria that came with the Welbutrin. It happened last year around Jan or February of 2011.I thought everyone in the world loved me and I loved everyone in the world.I was on top of my game.I thought I was Superman and that I was invincible except for kryptonite.I felt like everyone was speaking to me in a sped up language which sounded to me like buzzing bees. I was taking the Welbutrin for depression and smoking cessation.
  9. I've never been to a sweat lodge but it is something I'd like to go to someday.I have Native American heritage on my mom's and fathers side of the family.I do not know the benefits of the sweat lodge on PTSD but I'd be willing to try it. Being exposed to sun can bring up your mood and it add's Vitamin E to the body and it helps if you get enough sunshine.I have seasonal affective disorder.SAD is lack of sunlight.I have troubles during the winter months.
  10. In certain situations I am embarressed about my past delusions.I used to think the government was out to get us.I had the delusion after 9/11/01 that the Rapture had happened and we were in the time of tribulation and that we entered another dimension where the Russian's controlled the U.S. After 9/11 I had thought that the Russian's had taken over the U.S. and they were protecting the Muslims.I also had a delusion at that time that the Muslims would kill me and everyone except the Muslims. A delusion that I am particularly embaresed about was last years aka the weird year.In it I thought the whole world loved me and I loved the whole world.And I thought people were talking to me like buzzing bees in a humanly untranslatable language.And I was manic the whole time.I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type.
  11. Greetings and welcome to CB. I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type.I am on a mood stablizer. I am in a online university majoring in Crimional and Social Justice.I am definetly doing good at my college level classes. I have to move the end of next month.
  12. Hi remember it is not your fault.The guy did not kill himself because of what he did to him.I don't for a minute blame you.You were assaulted and he was the guilty party.Remember it is not your fault the guy killed himself.You should feel relieved that the perp will no longer cause you or anyone else.It was his fault that you were assaulted and it was his fault that he killed himself and not yours. When I went through my assault six years ago i did not want the perp to live I wanted him to kill himself or die in prison.And he knew it was his fault.But if he didn't survive I would not have gotten a apology from the guy who assaulted me. Remember it is not your fault for anything the perp has done to you and to himself.
  13. Sun It's sunny here And warm too Summer is on it's way and waiting.
  14. I hope that I don't have to take meds for the rest of my life.I'd like to be normal and not have a mental illness.But I'm stuck on these meds that I have to take.And I don't like it but I have to go along with my med regimen.I'm not as creative on my meds but my meds are keeping me balanced.Sometimes my meds are hard to swallow and sometimes I choke on my meds.
  15. My thoughts would be racing and I would be feeling euphoric and I thought that I was in love with the whole world and the whole world was in love with me.And it sounded like people were talking to me rapidly like buzzing bees. One delusion I had was that the whole world loved me and I was the star of the show.And I could not shut up and I was up all night.I was this way for about two months in a row last year.I miss the euphoria.
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