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  1. For me, I just recently realized that there was something wrong with me. It took a bad break-up with my then boyfriend for everything to just...break. I always self injured (I thought it was completely normal to physically punish yourself for doing something you thought was wrong or stupid), but when I started cutting, I guess that really made me question what "proper" behavior was. I always thought I was a failure and that my problems and feeling were completely my fault, so getting help was something that never really crossed my mind back then. I eventually mentioned my feelings to my doctor, who, even thought I mentioned that my mother, father, and sister all were bipolar, put me on anti-depressants. Biiiiiig mistake. It made everything 10 times worse to the point where I was cutting so much that I passed out due to blood loss and I ran out into the middle of the Arizona desert one night to try and run away from all that I was feeling. I thankfully wised up to the point where I made an appointment with an actual psychiatrist, who was horrified when she heard what the doctor had done. I was thankfully put on risperidone for a while, then wellbutrin was added when I mentioned to my therapist that the meds took away the mania, but I was still very depressed.
  2. I think they do have FMLA, but I want to be absolutely sure before I take time off. Like I also said, I'm also afraid that I won't make enough money to move out of a toxic environment. I'll look in to it, though. It's Panera, so hopefully they will.
  3. I think I may need to either see someone else regarding therapy, or chew out the scheduling people. I went in around the 12th of August for intake, and I made a later appointment to see a therapist around the 13th of September. Well, September came, and when I showed up for my appointment, they told me it was a few days before. They didn't call me or anything about it, so I figured maybe I had forgotten the right day or something. I rescheduled for a week later, same thing happens. Now, I'm getting kind of skeptical, so I made one more appointment, and made sure to keep the printout they gave me and my phone charged, on my person, and loud at all times. The problem is, even though it's about a week and a half away, I've been getting worse and worse. It's gotten to the point where I take so many pills I sleep for 15 hours (waking up for bathroom and water), and I cut so much that I pass out from loosing so much blood. It's not suicide attempts, but I'm afraid that it may accidentally lead so it happening on accident. Do you guys think I should admit myself into a psych hospital? I do live with 2 other people, but when I admitted to them what has been happening, they reacted with disgust and no longer treat me like I'm human or something. I've been trying to move out closer to work, but I have terrible credit (years of impulse buys and loosing jobs) and I'm afraid that I won't be able to pay my new landlord if I admit myself. I'm also scared that work will fire me, or that they will treat me like scum the way my room mates are currently if I take time off for this... They just recently fired one of my coworkers, so I've had to work 12 hour days to make up for lost time until they hire someone else... I just need some advice about all this mess that life has thrown me...
  4. Thanks for the warm welcome and for letting me vent in the live chat! <3 It means a lot to me.
  5. So um... I've been reading this website for quite some time, but just recently joined. I'm a 24 year old who looks like a 16 year old (or so everyone says), and I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (not exactly sure what type, since I only got through one session with the therapist before they started screwing with the scheduling), PTSD, and severe depression. I self harm, and I have for a very long time. It's just gotten worse recently, and it doesn't help that my ex is using it as an excuse to say that I'm emotionally manipulating him because I asked him to help me quit. I just hide it from him now. I'll go onto something more positive now... I'm a professional baker, and I absolutely love it. :3 I'm also quite the artist. It keeps me sane. My deviantart is http://waterelemental.deviantart.com/ if anyone wishes to check it out. I love loosing myself in books, the internet, video games, and music. I play french horn, and I sometimes compose my own music. I used to write, but I kinda stopped after a wave of depression made me burn all that I wrote because I hated it so much. Other than that, I'm just your average introvert. Thanks for taking your time to read this.
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