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The one lurking behind you

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Everything posted by The one lurking behind you

  1. please delete, duplicate post
  2. The NHS is many things, free, understaffed & in demand.... How have you found the NHS Mental Health System? What are your best/worst experiences? For me it's; Best: When I was a teenager I was given therapy sessions and help when I needed it most. Worst: Today I was told the NHS doesn't supply Counselling and got offered the help of a charity that offers acupuncture and 'health walk groups' instead of any NHS Mental Health support.
  3. Hey there! Long time no post and I wanted to pop in and get chatting about something that's recently cropped up for me and got me thinking about things. So I'll cut to the chase. I've recently been enrolled in some group therapy after a few years of no meds/therapy/contact with mental health services. After the group I had a chat with the therapist running it and explained about the intense mood changes I'd been having etc. Anyway, she put me in touch with someone who gave me a phone assessment and the questions asked seemed to be the checklist for Borderline. She then said, "ah yes it sounds like Emotional Intensity". This is something I've never heard before in this context. I've heard of emotions being intense or emotional intensity as a symptom but she seemed to use it as a diagnostic term. I did some googling and discovered that Boderline is starting to be "rebranded" as EmOtional Intensity (here's one of the articles I found http://www.awp.nhs.uk/news-publications/trust-news/2016/march/raising-awareness-of-emotional-intensity-disorder/ ) I wondered, have you ever heard of this Emotional Intensity term being used and what are your thoughts on it? -TOLBY
  4. Afternoon/Morning/Evening Guys, It's been a long time since I last posted on here and things have been really manageable which is great but I recently am finding myself coming out with some rather 'irrational' things that scares my partner (bit of background; we've been together 3 years, are engaged and he is usually absolutely amazing at supporting me with depression, having experienced it himself first hand) Recently, thanks to the stress of work, i've been finding I'm saying progressively more irrational things that seem totally rational at the time (apart from a tiny bit of me that feels it's odd). To give you an example it was really windy the other day and I thought the air/wind was angry ghosts and if I breathed them in then I would become possessed by them and I tried to cover my partners mouth with his hat to help him. It was at that point he wondered wtf I was doing so explained and he seemed very worried. The second time I felt like my breathing was being restricted ( I had a tight necklace on at the time which looking back was probably the cause of the feeling). I panicked and asked him for a pen as I felt that I needed to stab my neck to create a air hole to breathe. Looking back I can understand how ridiculous this all sounds but at the time it felt real. I know I will never act on these, as my other half calls them "silly thoughts" so I want to reassure my partner of this and have done but I feel I need to say more. I also asked him if I should go to the Dr's about it but he is worried they would section me. As i'm in the UK it's easy to reassure him that that is highly unlikely due to the massive bed shortage in the UK and what I didn't say, the number of times I've been much much worse and very ill and been turned away from A&E with a vallium or three. Sorry for ranting, so the crux of this is, how do you help your loved ones to stop worrying!? Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate that you took time out to read it all. Thanks again! TOLBY
  5. Hi Guys, I hope you're all having a good day and if not here's a hug and a smile just for you :) x

    1. jt07

      jt07

      Hi Lurk! Long time no see. Welcome back!

    2. The one lurking behind you
    3. helenllama
  6. Thank you Paperskyscraper (love your name by the way) I'm considering getting rid of it in my personal statement purely becuase of the very limited word count but everyones kind words have given me the confidence to let the uni know, which will be by putting it in the disability section on the UCAS form. I'd rather have a safety net for me set up for uni as recently the stress of coursework has gotten to my mental health a bit.I still need my teachers to proof read my personal statement, but apart from that almost finished applying to uni....very exciting!!
  7. Haven't posted in a while, I hope your all well. (I really hope there are some fellow whovians on here to share my fangirling) So it was the 50th anniversary of Dr Who last saturday!!! Anyone else watch it? What were your thoughts? Personally I loved it, especially the reference to previous episodes.... *Spoilers* (always wanted to say that) ************************************* Tom Backer's cameo was the cherry on top! Still a little dubious about Moffat as a writer even though he created my favourite character (River Song) haha Did you do anything special for the 50th? I ordered pizza Anything planned or thoughts for the Christmas episode...1 month to go!!! Or anything Dr Who related to share like cosplay conventions or childhood memories of the show. Would be great to hear from like minded Dr Who fans on here...i really hope you exist.
  8. Probably London. I love the anonymity it gives. Like you can walk down the street in your PJ's and no one will care. And the architecture is amazing. Or somewhere out in the country, maybe scotland or a remote part of Southern Ireland.
  9. feeling a bit alone but it's my fault for not reaching out for help. I'm ' the listener' shouldn't need to be listened to.

  10. I remember watching a few of these a couple of years back. I used to like the message that being 'superskinny' is just as bad as being 'supersize'. I think this message will always stay with me now. It was also good to get an insight into the person behind their weight, just from a curiosity point of view and to sort of compare myself to them to measure my 'healthyness' which probably wasnt the best thing to do but yh...
  11. It's nice to hear from someone who is already at uni in the UK, Squish and how well your university, by the sound of it, has helped you. I will mention it, i am yet to show my teachers my personal statement to have a look over, it'll be interesting to see their response to me adding that in and if they are supportive and understanding of me wanting to keep it in there as it IS relevant to me. If you guys want to know, I'll let you know when i hear back from the uni's if I've been accepted to any
  12. Thank you Titania I've come up with this as a section of my first draft, let me know what you think...do i dwell on it too much?: (EDITED TO EMIT MY PERSONAL STATEMENT SO IT DOESN'T COME BACK AS HAVING PLAGIARISM ISSUES WHEN I SUBMIT IT) Erm what do you think? I'm tempted to maybe add something about creativity but I dont want to waffle...
  13. Impulsive by definition means without forethought. Personally I feel there's a sudden obsession like if I do 'this' and 'this' then I'll be able to create 'that' so then i go out of my way to do 'this'. For me thats not impulse but obsession. Impulse is more in the moment with no achievable end in sight just a single thing i MUST do for no real reason.
  14. Mine started off as a sort of conversation in my mind, so I could talk to them without saying anything aloud. Then it grew into a full blown identity and the whispers would sound more like someone standing right beside me talking. For me hallucinations accompanied this; so when it was whispers I didn't have any hallucinations apart from shadows then as it sounded like talking beside me the shadows turned into the voice so when the voice was talking it wouldn't just sound like someone next to me was talking, i'd be able to see them too.
  15. When depressed I found my views on everything were extremely tinted, my beliefs were no exception. At the time though they feel correct. Personally I try to hold on and remind myself of what I believed in before that I found comforting or find something hopeful about meaning.
  16. I was on the pill ( I think the brand was Regivedon? probably spelt that complelty wrong) Anway was on it for about a week and was one of the worst weeks of my life. It made my moods swing intolerably from one minute to the next and had me throwing up multiple times (once at work). So yeah I'd reccomend anything but the pill as that is as far as my knowledge goes. I hope you find the right option for you both
  17. False (autumn and winter are my favourite seasons ) The person below me is a cat person
  18. Thank you for your replies. It saddens me that there is such stigma but I also have to accept that it does exist. It's just a little frustrating I suppose as if it were due to a physical illness I would be much more likely to include it. I will try and work around it. Maybe throwing in a line about having gained coping mechanisms for stress of something, we'll see.
  19. Heya, hope you're all not doing too badly I don't know if any of you remember me but i used to post quite a bit about a year ago. Well since those crazy times I've become much better (don't want to get into the debate of when someone is 'recovered') but yh a lot better! Next year I will be starting university, hopefully studying English lit and creative writing and I need to write a personal statement (4000 characters long) explainging why I want to study the course and what makes me a suitable candidate etc. I dont know what the system is in other countries (im from the UK) but hopefully you get the idea of what a personal statement is. I dropped out of sixth form (the two years of A-levels before people go onto uni) in my first year and had to restart in the year below. I'm now in my second year and therefor planning my future at uni. I'm worried that uni's will read it though and do the maths with my birthday and think...'wait a minute this candidate is a year older than most and she hasn't mentioned taking a gap year...whats going on' or that my referee (the head of my sixth form) will mention something in the reference which may seem odd if I dont mention anything in my statement and vice versa. I'm terrified of getting discriminated against for my illness - I know I shouldnt coz if the uni did they'd be in deep shit meaning that if they do they will do it in a sly manner which is, honestly, even more hurtful than the truth. So what I'm trying to ask, through all the waffling, is; should I include something about me having had a mental illness in my personal statement? Also should I consider myself as having had a mental illness or is it something that never really goes? And if i do mention it should I then tick yes to 'disability' on the form? (and even apply for student disability benefits?) I know i should probably talk to someone at my sixth form about this but I'm a bit shy. (BTW I am no longer on any meds and have been discharged from my pdoc's care - since June this year- and am not recieveing any therapy or am in contact with any mental health services)
  20. Nice to pop on here for the first time in ages and feeling 'heallthy' :D

  21. Yeah I've been enjoying life and living it to the full, something that seemed so impossible a year ago. But I've been anxious about coming back on here as I didn't wanna trigger anything. During the summer im looking forward to coming back and being a helpful part of the community, if you'll have me?
  22. Alex617, there are many other options its just a pain how my mind seems so set on a psych hospital being the ONLY way. I need to train myself to recognise there are other options, not entirely sure how to do that though.
  23. Thank you kaashi! I love the idea of turning the anxiety into amotivational too, I reckon I could do that with some will power. Definitely gonna give it a go. The beaver made me smile. Off to sleep now so I know who to blame if I have beaver or desk gnawing therapist orientated one!
  24. Been feeling better for just under a year but still feel scared and anxious that im gonna be committed into a mental hospital. When I think of my future I feel I have to go through some time at a hospital sorta letting the last bit of crazy out before I can move on with my life. Am I getting overly anxious? Should I put it to the back of my mind and get on with my exam revision?
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