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CrazySoprano

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Everything posted by CrazySoprano

  1. Mods, please feel free to move this if it's not the right place or if another place would give it better visibility. Hello! I've been away for quite some time, but here's a quick summary of my crazy: I have major depressive disorder, dysthymia, and generalized anxiety disorder. I've been in remission for about 10 years but had a relapse recently after two very sad overseas funerals, a visit to my parents (Dad has Alzheimer's, parents underwater on their mortgage, Mom probably has some undiagnosed mental health issue but refuses to seek treatment), and yet another close friend having a baby (husband doesn't want one, I do, we're working through it but it's pretty upsetting for me). This ain't my first rodeo, so I did all the things we're supposed to do. Went to my pdoc (had to get a new one because the old one didn't take HIPPA seriously enough for me), got a new tdoc, joined a new gym that's at the local hospital and includes nurse evals and sessions with a personal trainer every 6 weeks, found a dietitian, started doing more meditation, etc. Meds going into this: 150 mg Wellbutrin XL, 5 mg Lexapro, 18 mg Concerta PRN, .5 mg Ativan PRN, Seasonale (awesome birth control pill where I get 4 periods a year) Pdoc had me stop the Concerta, increase Wellbutrin to 300 mg, and add Rexulti. I'm supposed to do 2 weeks at .5 mg (done one so far) and increase to 1 mg after that, come back in a month. First 3 days of Rexulti I was incredibly sleepy. I hoped that that would be a temporary side effect, and it was. At this point, 1 week into the .5 mg of Rexulti, I am neither anxious nor depressed, but I weigh more than I ever have in my life and my clothes no longer fit. Guys, I can't afford a new wardrobe. I started this journey with a goal of losing 15-20 lbs. Now, with the same goal weight, I have to lose 25-30 lbs. I'm not overeating. I'm doing everything the dietitian suggested. I'm doing 40 min. of cardio 3-7 days a week. The depression kept me away from the gym for a while, but I'm getting back into it. I'm going to try to get in to see the pdoc again next week, even though I'm supposed to wait until next month. I'm really hoping that the weight gain will be temporary, but I have a sinking suspicion that it won't be. I don't really want to stop the Rexulti because I feel better than I have in a long time, even before the most recent depressive episode, but I also really want to be at a healthy weight and be able to wear my clothes. So, what do I ask? Would increasing the Wellbutrin balance the weight gain effects of the Rexulti? Would a weight loss medication help? I had another pdoc suggest something like that when I was gaining weight on Prozac, but I ended up switching to another SSRI instead. Thanks in advance! Here's a picture of my puppy having an existential crisis:
  2. Yeah, I think we're going to wait before announcing to IRL people. We broke down and told our parents and my sister yesterday. I have my first prenatal appointment on June 3. I think we might tell a few close friends once we've heard the heartbeat and/or had the first ultrasound. I'll wait to make the Facebook announcement when we know if we're having a pink one or a blue one. I haven't met the OB yet, but I'm going to make sure they have each other's information and permission to communicate about my crazy and the baby.
  3. I'm really excited and happy and also petrified and nervous and slightly more crazy than usual. I've told the Frenchman, who is overjoyed and has become even more protective of me than usual. Yesterday I told him I wasn't allowed to be around cleaning products so he has to clean the house from now on. Do you think he believed me? Yay!!! No pregnancy symptoms so far, probably because it's still really, really early. Taking olga's advice and trying to eat my veggies!
  4. I was kinda disappointed that there was no scream after he went into the bathroom.
  5. Probably easier than I should. Are you good at keeping your house clean?
  6. False. I take two regularly and I used to take some PRN but stopped those because I'm trying to make a tiny human. The person below me loves chocolate.
  7. Either the complete Brahms symphonies or the opera Little Women by Mark Adamo. If you could magically gain a skill you don't currently have, what would it be? Could be speaking a foreign language, playing an instrument, being really good at a sport...
  8. True. It makes me really happy to do little things for people. Makes my whole day, in fact. The person below me is okay with the taste of tap water.
  9. I vastly prefer having that area waxed, but it costs too much and I stink at doing it myself, so I got myself a combination trimmer/razor instead. I don't like shaving there because it gets all prickly when it's coming back in, but I do keep it very well-trimmed. I do find that it's easier to keep clean around period-time if I don't have a lot of hair. A good astringent will help a lot with the little bumps. Witch hazel is an excellent one and not too expensive. She might also want to use a scrub in that area just before she shaves. When I look back at my childhood, I remember my mom flipping out about a lot of things that weren't actually a big deal. The result was that I was afraid to tell her anything because I didn't want to have to calm her down and convince her that my academic and professional future was not, in fact, in jeopardy just because I got a B- on a test. Not exaggerating there. You can feel any way you want to feel, but maybe don't react too strongly in front of your daughter. Try to respond calmly and she'll probably be more forthcoming.
  10. 1.5 hours. But it would have to be my dream job. What is your favorite scent? Could be a perfume or a regular smell like freshly baked bread or laundry or something.
  11. False, but I'd be happier if I was! The person below me picks their nose.
  12. Tell him that you're considering self-medicating. Hopefully that will light a fire under his ass. It makes me mad when pdocs won't take their patients' needs seriously.
  13. I have lots! Most of it is still living at my parents' place until we have a house. I have a Bible here that a relative got me for my baptism. At my parents' house is my first violin that I got when I started taking lessons. I was only three years old and it's so tiny and adorable! 1/16 size, in case you're wondering. What is your most prized material possession?
  14. False, for the most part. I'm one of those rare classical musicians who actually listens to classical music almost exclusively. That said, sometimes I just need to dance around to the Backstreet Boys. The person below me can carry a tune.
  15. It only really bothers me if it's either loud or out-of-tune. Otherwise, I just ignore it and play games on my phone. Who is your least favorite celebrity?
  16. I was wondering about the rules for that, too. If it's based on earned income credit, how do they determine the amount for someone who hasn't ever worked? Like someone who came out of school with MI issues or someone who was a stay-at-home mom.
  17. I have a lot of people. A couple amazing professors from college, two or three famous musicians, and my husband. What should I have for dinner?
  18. False. I mean, I sit in my car and swear at other drivers occasionally, but I'm actually pretty good at staying chill and thinking that I'll get there when I get there. The person below me is hungry right now.
  19. LG, I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time right now. Here is my advice. You are under no obligation to read, take, or respond, but here it is: It sounds like you have a great partner who is really supportive and helpful. He, your tdoc, and your pdoc should be the main people you rely on to help you through this. You're going to need to take a ride on the med-go-round and do some serious therapy to sort out the best plan to get your brain to work its best for you. For me, when I'm going through a crisis, I need to limit the people I interact with. (CB doesn't count for this--this place is a great sounding board that I keep around no matter what.) I need to make sure that I can deal with myself before I try to deal with other people. This was especially difficult for me when I was going through a major breakdown while living with three of my closest friends. Once I had my shit together somewhat, I was able to have casual connections with my friends until I was ready for deeper and more meaningful relationships with them. But I had to be able to be alone with my thoughts, to have things I was proud of, and to be happy on my own first. I wish you the best of luck in your med/therapy journey. I really hope you'll be able to figure out the meds and tools that work best for you. In the meantime, come here and vent (even if it's difficult for other people to read and follow, it's still good for you to type it out) and keep us updated. We're reading and we care. Love and cookies, CS
  20. Minesweeper on my phone. What was your favorite book growing up?
  21. True. The person below me gets sick (colds, etc.) easily.
  22. True. The person below me likes Triscuits.
  23. I have pretty good reception at the moment. The best reception in this area is with Verizon, but we have AT&T. Did you have to dig your car out of the snow today?
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