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About Mirazh

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    Queer Genderfuckery

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Alberta, Canada
  • Interests
    Punkicorn unigoffs who only act their age when it counts.

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  1. "You can't have ADHD, you're very intelligent and have a random learning pattern but that's not ADHD." Wut. "He's a very experienced psychiatrist with over 25 years of service." That still didn't answer my question about his experience working with ADHD specifically. "Why are you reading the side effects list for your medication, you don't need to know that information, it's not intended for patients." That's hilarious, because it was the information included with my medication by the pharmacy, and listed under "INFO YOU NEED IF YOU'RE TAKING THIS MEDICATION" not to mention the sp
  2. I used to feel differently about this. Previously I would have said: I am autistic, I am ADHD... but I have bipolar disorder. I'm so much more than "an autistic" but it is pervasive in how I perceive and experience myself and the world, and it's always been there, and I encountered the term first in autistic self advocacy communities. Like it wasn't really applied to me as a kid. I've been starting to notice, now, that sometimes others will (unintentionally, unconsciously too I think) try to limit me based on that label. So I've started to become more selective in how I talk about
  3. Personally, I'd tell my doc, because my own motto is "if I'm not sure, detail everything to my doctor and let her decide". I've learned a lot that way. These days I go to her much less often with needs like that. For me it's like... disrupted sleep, not sleeping well, can lead to added stress and insomnia, also if my sleep is disrupted it's likely there's other stress going on, from heat keeping me awake at night to everything in my life metaphorically exploding in my face, and that stuff will also try to push me towards an episode. Conversely, if heading toward an episode, I may s
  4. This is pretty much my experience too. There are the occasional times I get a bit... weird with my fears. Mostly when I was younger, like obsessing over the possibility of thought broadcasting even though I knew it was impossible and basically compulsively "playing music" in my head when out in public all the time. Very exhausting. And very OCD. But largely, and especially as an adult with all these years of therapy and treatment behind me, it's exaggeration of things that are normal concerns or irritations in my life already.
  5. Upset and disappointed is completely understandable. I know the likelihood of my being able to stay on Depakote for the rest of my life is... rather low. It's helpful that I find such a low dose of it so effective, but you never know. I still hope I never ever have to get off the stuff. I too hope the process for you won't take years again, and I hope you won't land on something really expensive. It will be okay. I think you're moving in the right direction with this, at least. You know you're emotional right now and not strategic, that's great. I'm sure you know it's okay to b
  6. I totally agree with taking better care of myself since my diagnosis, and being very motivated to prioritize my health in general. I wouldn't have gotten my pdoc without that, actually. I still obviously struggled with executive dysfunction and the throes of my illness, but I was obviously trying desperately hard to overcome these issues, in the immediate aftermath of the episode that led to my diagnosis (and the diagnosis itself). My GP stopped charging me fees for missed appointments. And she asked her personal friend, a psychiatrist, to take me on as a patient even though she really
  7. I can get into some pretty weird wake/sleep things, including "stay up for two days, sleep one night, stay up for two days, sleep one night" kinda routine. That's been present since I was a kid though, I've always had problems self regulating certain things and sleep has always been one of them. This can make it difficult to tell if I've got hypo/mania coming up, of course. I've had to rely on my psychiatrist telling me if I should be worried or not, in the past. These days I'm much better at telling what's going on with me. I'm also a lot better at sleeping though. I totally agr
  8. That is fantastic, confused. I'm so glad you've found something that is working well for you. I've never done sobriety programs myself, but I agree with you that spreading awareness of other options is important. Sorry to hear it ended with you feeling pressured to reveal more about yourself & situation than you wanted. That was not okay and none of their business. It is definitely okay to be in recovery, it means you're working hard at trying to take care of yourself and do better. Agreed there's no need to mention it again.
  9. My rate of use has definitely gone way down. I suspect part of my high rate of use at first was the stress from quitting smoking, and other things going on in my life too. Which snowballed, as these things do, and that in turn had me using more as well in order to cope. But things have been quieting down a lot in my life and my head, and I definitely find myself purchasing less. Previously I would guesstimate my average daily consumption at over 2g per day (some days not as much, some days not at all, but overall yeah that was it.) Now I seem to mostly sit at 1g per day, or just u
  10. @Gearhead At least half of that time was the chicken breasts thawing in my fridge, because I'd been storing them frozen. I just knew the clock was ticking down on them going off! Though I did not see this before I baked them in the oven, I can assure you I double checked, and I really appreciate you checking in with me on that anyway. My sense of smell is usually quite sensitive, but I didn't rely on a quick whiff I can assure you. I made it halfway through my chicken pasta salad, which included the important part of roasting the chicken in the oven, before I had to leave the house las
  11. ADHD be awesome like... I've been trying to make chicken pasta salad for three days. Three. Days. Been trying today since this morning. I think I might manage to do it today. I've got my stuff out for it right now. I came here to turn Spotify on my laptop so I can have music while I cook (it helps keep me from getting distracted by, I don't know, air molecules I think based on how much I'll go staring off into space). I think it's time to reintroduce an afternoon dose of my stimulant, LOL.
  12. I wasn't stepping in to correct anyone, just to be clear. I am personally not able to dedicate as much time as I would like to this place, as I have many things in my life right now that I'm busy with, and this means I'm not as able to keep up with what my fellow CBers have been like lately. (Basically: I know that you know better than me on this point.) My intentions were to supplement, not contradict. Saying the same thing in a different way. That's all. I have felt myself in agreement with the other responses to the thread as well, and I apologize for not making that clear enough.
  13. I may have been using the term in a different way, @notloki. I can't speak for @redfox though. I understand redfox to mean not having to rely on depot injections. I know many folks who can do their T shots at home, and one local friend is on the gel instead which he does at home, and this is what I was thinking of when I read and used the term self regulation. If you're pointing out instead that, folks have to still be under supervision of an endocrinologist (or someone who fills the equivalent role), who helps with determining what the T dose range is for you, then you're very cor
  14. I agree with notloki in that you're exercising a lot more control than you're currently feeling like. If you were still able to skip meds a lot, or if you were able to fall prey to your urges to overdose your T and inject harmful substances, you would be in far less control of everything than you are now. You would be a lot more under the influence of your symptoms, as well as the effects of medications not being stable in your system, or some combination of the above. I don't think self regulation of T has to be this "never" thing, in fact it may do you good to have that as a goal
  15. There's two ways to interpret the thread title. Literally, and sarcastically. Posts to the thread are on topic whichever way they interpret the title. Why? Because it's good to be reminded of how awesome ADHD can be, and it is also good to be able to have a place to come and laugh at how frustratingly silly ADHD can be. I will start us off: When I'm at my most ADHD that I can be, kids freaking LOVE me and think I'm the best thing ever. I turn into a genius at children's entertainment. I have a shitload of fun and laugh myself silly and end my day feeling exhausted but l
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