Alien Navel Cord

Luckily I have a gf that knows me like the back of her hand and can tell within 1 or 2 days that I'm starting to cycle into an episode. I'm glad she can because I can never tell. I'm never sure if I'm just upbeat and happy or fucking manic... Or a little down and sad or fucking depressed... Or out of control mixed. I have no clue and I've been diagnosed since 2006. And I'm 40.

My questions are for my bipolar mother who died in 2016. I always wonder if mine was similar to hers. She'd been to hospital though and I never have. But I never got a clear picture of what she went through before I'd been born. I'd like to talk to her again someday...

Hey there orangey! Hope it's starting to feel less empty. I know that feeling so much. It really does go away and get better. It's just weird for a while!

I had FMLA at previous jobs, and will again after being at my current job a year. You don't have to tell your supervisor anything. HR might need to know, but usually most compnies go through a 3rd party. It really comes in handy when going through an episode.

It usually takes a few days or I never get one. But somehow I bounced waaay up. I was do sad last week. I don't understand why. Now I'm silly and having crazy thoughts... Trouble sleeping.

I dont know I just felt like since doctors never call me back that it must inconvenience them when I call.

OK. I just feel like I'm bothering everyone...

Wow sorry for this tablet autocorrect lol I meant to say I'll call pdoc. I didn't ..forgot...?

Isn't it weird how when you feel like this all your beliefs are thrown out the window and you don't care about anything? i called prod office and have a key for him to know what's going on.we'll see what happens

I just saw my new pdoc a week ago. I told him I wasn't sure how I was feeling. Kinda numb. I'll check that suicide prevention page.I can't go to hospital...I would lose my job.I'm just a temp.and it would be too expensive. Sigh. I just want to sleep. Lots.

Hate tdocs... Never found therapy helpful. What do they do to you if you call a crisis line?

Was manic for a few months. A week or so ago I just dropped down. Way down. I'm so tired. I was just numb at first. Now I'm sad and slow. Foggy brained. Thought about the world without me. That scared me. I'm getting tough love support from the wife. Taking all meds as I should be. Trying to stay positive. How will I know if I just need to chat with a specialist who handles deep depressive people considering doing bad things?

If you can believe it, Lithium works well for me compared to Lamictal, but I still rapid cycle, at least 6-7 episodes a year, maybe more actually. I need to keep track. But Lamictal did nothing, at least Lithium is keeping me from going total psychotic. Except for the one time, that is... heh.

So the wikipedia says this: " Hypomania is also a feature of bipolar I disorder; it arises in sequential procession as the mood disorder fluctuates between normal mood (euthymia) and mania. Some individuals with bipolar I disorder have hypomanic as well as manic episodes. Hypomania can also occur when moods progress downwards from a manic mood state to a normal mood. Hypomania is sometimes credited with increasing creativity and productive energy. " I never realized this before. I had a hypomanic episode a few months ago, and now am going through another one. But I was confused because I thought only type II got hypomanic. I was wrong I guess. Anyway, it is funny because I don't have the bizarre ideas and racing thoughts, and I have been sleeping ok, but I am more talkative and outgoing than usual, a bit obnoxious, and slightly irritable if I don't catch myself. But the beauty of it is, I can catch it. I like this kind of mania, I don't get myself into trouble, I am just a better version of myself. Is that wrong to think of it that way? Who else here has Bipolar I but continues to have hypomanic episodes, and why did mine just start in November and come back periodically, - will I get more or do you think it will escalate? It's been a week already...