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HyperInHell

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About HyperInHell

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    Riot Machine Girl

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  1. When I was on Neurontin I had an extremely high thyroid level. Now I'm off it and my levels are normal. Problem is... I am still having all the symptoms of hypothyroidism. Does anyone know what could be going on? Thanks.
  2. I don't get it. I was diagnosed with hypothroidism (level was 9) and told that I would need to be on medication and see an endochronoligist. The endochronoligist tested me and told me that the results were normal. I have no idea why I keep on fluctuating but I know that I still have hypothroidism. Can Neurontin cause my level to be higher? I recently went off it so maybe this is related.
  3. As a mentally ill person I have constantly been a target of crimes... everything from sexual assault to physical assault to robbery to slander... and while I may be seen by professionals as a "chronic victim" I am not choosing to be attacked by any of the people. The attacks have caused me so much damage that I feel like I am hanging by a thread. One attack after another. Does it ever end? Yet the problem is that I do not have money for lawyers and that I do not come off well to the authorities. I was wondering if anyone here had any advice for me. I know there is a lot I could collect from a lot of people but I have no idea where to begin.
  4. My insurance sucks. I can only get generics now... which is very unfortunate because the last time I tried a generic (Paxil) I had the worst side effects I have ever experienced from a medication. Ever since then I have feared generics meds and avoided them like the plague. I was wondering if the side effects for generic Klonopin were worse than the side effects of the original and also if the generic worked as well. Thanks.
  5. Right now I am taking 40 MG which honestly isn't doing very much for me. Every now and then I'll get these sudden inspirational bursts to make shit happen but I am generally pretty sluggish and depressed. Getting out of bed is difficult... it feels like I am not truly awake until 8 PM. Then I get manic but not manic enough to do anything cool... more like a bored sort of mania/anger thing that makes me want to scream at people on the streets. The depression isn't suicidal but "I am a lame and pathetic nobody" type stuff. It feels like even though I am doing as much as I can that I am still not where I want to be... and that people are laughing at what an annoying freak I am in public... even people who I think are my friends. It's socially paranoia and anxiety too. It's not fun. I am also on Klonopin (1 MG) for the anxiety. Things aren't terrible but they aren't exactly stable. I feel like I put up with too much shit because of how difficult my life has been... like I don't know any better. I want to increase my dose but since I am considered bipolar I don't want it to be too high. I know that I "should" be on mood stabilzers, but I have personal reasons for not being on them which I don't feel like discussing. I am fine with a bit of mania... it is actually quite fun if it doesn't get out of hand... but I am not fine with being manic to the point where I'm unable to communicate with anyone who isn't "on my superior hyperspeed level" or whatever. I'm also not fine with being happy when horrible things are happening. So I want to up the dosage a bit here, but I don't want it to be too high either. Any suggestions? And thanks for listening.
  6. I am considering Cymbalta, Celexa, Effexor, Lexapro, or Wellbutrin. I have been on everything else and I have either had horrible nightmares or stomach problems. I have severe anxiety (from ptsd) and bipolar disorder. (mostly depressive episodes) Also overweight so I don't need to gain anymore pounds. The Klonopin helps keep my mania down since it is related to my anxiety. What would you guys reccommend? I know it depends on the individual, but I figured I would get some advice. The most important thing for me is that I want to feel good without gaining weight or anxiety. I don't mind insomnia and would rather any stomach problem besides constipation. Thanks.
  7. This is getting really bad. Never have I have this much of a problem holding it in. Is the common for Paxil? Is there anything I can take to counteract this?
  8. New combination. I was on Neurontin and Klonopin. Was still always anxious and getting up in the morning was pretty much impossible. Was also experiencing a bit of depression. I figured that Paxil would help with the depression and even the anxiety, while the Xanex would help the Paxil keep me happy without sending me over the edge into agitated mania. (not to mention chilling me out since it's supposed to be stronger than Klonopin) I know these meds both have the side effects of sleepiness, though everything works different for everyone, so maybe I won't be as tired as before. Who knows? Is there is a specific time to take them that would minimize the sleepiness? Every time I've been on SSRI's I've had horrible vivid nightmares and stomach problems, so if this happens on Paxil I'm gonna go off it and switch back to the Neurontin. Was wondering if anyone had any suggestions (times to take the Paxil, foods, vitamins) to minimize the chances of the nightmares and stomach problems. Also, Xanex and alcohol. I know the combination is very dangerous. I was wondering about having one drink though. I am an occasional social drinker. Is alcohol completely off limits even in very small doses? [edit: corrected title spelling, am]
  9. I know this is med related, cause every time I go off of the meds (even for a few days) waking up is not a problem. Yet I go back on the Neurontin and Klonopin... and waking up in the morning is impossible. It's gotten so bad that I've missed very important meetings and appointments. There have been many times that I've stayed up for several days. Was that mania? Could be. Yet it was more like avoiding going to sleep so I could avoid having to wake up. I'll either miss the alarm completely, go right back to sleep, or lay in bed unable to move for about an hours. The first couple hours of my day I am in a complete haze. I have somewhere to be tomorrow at 1 PM. I know if I go to sleep I won't be able to make it. So? I'm gonna have to stay up through the night. There's gotta be another way. This isn't healthy. Yet what should I do? Find different meds? Take them at a different time? I usually take them in the morning. Change the dose? I don't wanna have anymore panic attacks or mood swings, but not being able to wake up is causing a lot of difficulty in my every day funcitoning.
  10. I know this is med related, cause every time I go off of the meds (even for a few days) waking up is not a problem. Yet I go back on the Neurontin and Klonopin... and waking up in the morning is impossible. It's gotten so bad that I've missed very important meetings and appointments. There have been many times that I've stayed up for several days. Was the mania? Could be. Yet it was more like avoiding going to sleep so I could avoid having to wake up. I'll either miss the alarm completely, go right back to sleep, or lay in bed unable to move for about an hours. The first couple hours of my day I am in a complete haze. I have somewhere to be tomorrow at 1 PM. I know if I go to sleep I won't be able to make it. So? I'm gonna have to stay up through the night. There's gotta be another way. This isn't healthy. Yet what should I do? Find different meds? Take them at a different time? I usually take them in the morning. Change the dose? I don't wanna have anymore panic attacks or mood swings, but not being able to wake up is causing a lot of difficulty in my every day funcitoning.
  11. As some of you might already know, MDMA was originally a drug used by professionals to help and treat trauma patients. The question is related to the responsible use of this substance and how it interacts with psychiatric (or what is currentl considered psychiatric) medications. I am on: Neurontin and Klonopin What are the reactions when mixing these medications with MDMA? Thanks.
  12. Hey everyone, I'm looking for a therapist who specializes in social personality modification. I am constantly making a spectacle out of myself in groups, which is quite destructive in regards to my life as a musician and writer. I do not want to talk about my family. I do not want to dwell on my past. I do not want to be seen as a label. I simply need someone to help me modify my social behvaior so I can do better with my current life. I am interested in a blank slate. Is there any therapist that specializes in this sort of thing, or do all of them ask us about our childhoods and emotions? I have no idea if personality modification therapy exists on its own. If it does... what is the name for it... or the name of something as close to this as possible? Thanks.
  13. Do you know where this constant feeling of discontent comes from? Maybe we can get rid of it by getting to its roots?
  14. We are distracting. How can we get rid of it? How can we get rid of something that doesn't even exist?
  15. I was abused in middle school on a daily basis. I have flashbacks of the kids kicking my chairs, spitting on me... I remember that I ate in the bathroom once because nobody would let me sit at their table during lunch. I don't see the point in recovering these horrible memories though. I don't see how living in the past will help me heal. Sorry... I just don't get it.
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