This is my first post, please be kind. I have been living with sza for about 12 years now and have tried many meds. I am currently on zyprexa 20mg, welbutron 300mg, depekote 2000mg and cogentin 5mg. I had a episode about 4 years ago where I was hospitalized and was put on these meds which are working fine except for 1 thing. Thought Broadcasting. I cannot seem to shake it. Wherever I go or whatever I do it is always there. It gets worse when I am around crowds. I hate going anywhere. It sucks. What is going on in my head is I think everybody in my general vacinity is listening to my thoughts and they know what I am feeling. It is a horrible feeling that won't go away, I get so embarassed, imagine hundreds of people knowing what you are thinking and feeling. It gets worse. These same people communicate with me via telepathy, talk about annoying. They are always telling me what to do like, do this, go here, get that and also very verbally abusive. They call me all kind of names. Also, I must confess that illogical as this may sound, I believe every person I come in contact with has access to my memories and they use those memories against me to ridicule me, talk about emmbarassing. Anyway, I know it is illogical but every time I try to talk myself out of this something will pop up to reinforce the idea, like a memory of an event that reinforced my delusions or something someone said that reinforced it.. Is this what they call a self reinforcing delusion? No matter what I do or tell myself how illogical this is it wont go away, I have been dealing with this for so long it has become normal to me. Any help or advice would be nice. Thanx.