Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

vondick

Member
  • Content Count

    278
  • Joined

  • Last visited

4 Followers

About vondick

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    Canada- Alberta
  • Interests
    I'm a designer. I am currently teaching myself how to sew and I hope to start making and selling vests online. Which I'm really stoked about right now.

    I'm into yoga (mostly the more meditative types), Meditation and breath work. I'm pretty interested in paganism and hope to keep exploring that as well.

    I have a dog and a cat and I love working with animals.

    I love to write, and slowly but surely I am trying to get back into it.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,369 profile views
  1. Yes, NTs are definitely more receptive when somebody makes a bad joke or tries to make a joke and fails entirely. I think the proper response is to pretend it was funny rather than getting all confused and going "that was stupid, why did you say that?" If I could "like" things on crazyboards, I would "like" this. I've never had an issue with sarcasm, but I am kind of hopeless with most innuendo. At least hopeless enough that I don't catch it in time for the whole comedic timing thing to work.
  2. "I could not relate to it at all and felt no sympathy for the characters" Ohhhh yeah. That's how I felt about the first six episodes of the first season. And to be entirely honest, I have NO clue why I kept watching, I think I was just really bored that day. But I'm glad I did because now it's one of my favorite shows. The SNL skit gets all the characters spot on, and I'm SUPER impressed with the voices, but I do find that Tina Fey continues to use a lot of foreign stereotypes which I don't find all that funny and rather a little heavy handed. Honestly I'd rather just watch girls because the characters are already parodies of themselves. Marnie is the most self absorbed person, real or fake, that I have ever seen- and some of the situations she gets herself in because of it are horrible and awkward and hilarious. Hannah is ridiculous in so many ways. They are all ridiculous, and somewhere along the way they completely endeared themselves to me while also continuing to make me cringe and howl with laughter with all the stupid ridiculous poor choices they continue to make. Anyhow, girls aside, I would definitely still recommend the book, which is quite different despite a few similarities. Thumbs up for crazy talk.
  3. Hey everyone, I have a question. So me and my boyfriend both have ADD and he recently started taking meds again after a while. He is from a different city originally and previously never bothered to actually get a new doctor. He went to a local clinic and asked to be put back on his meds until he could get in to see a psych doc. Doctor said yes, prescribed him dexedrine for a month. He ran out and went back to the clinic to get enough to last him to his appointment later this month. This time though, he got a different doctor that mostly just treated him like a drug seeker and kept referring to dexedrine as speed. He wrote him a prescription for Wellbutrin, which he also takes, and for strattera. So I did a quick lookup online and saw that strattera is a norepiniephrine reuptake inhibitor. Okay, cool, I know why that would be useful for someone with ADHD.... But he already takes wellbutrin. Which is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. Sooooo.... Why does he need two? Obviously my next stop was crazy boards, and I searched the forums for wellbutrin and strattera together and the search came up nada. Nothing. Zilch. And if no one on Crazy Boards has brought up the two together it makes me wonder what's up. Is the search function just wonky, or is this something that doesn't often get prescribed together because they both do the same thing already?
  4. vondick

    mom issues

    Egads. My mom. Our relationship is super messed up and I've stopped contact for now. Inappropriate boundaries (eg, she took me to an abortion and asked me to be in the room, as an adult but still really not cool) she was a single mom and used to be my best friend but since I've become an adult things are just fucked. I think she does things to keep me dependent on her, she uses material goods and gifts to manipulate me later, she lies to me and about me to other family members, she has some really severe narcissistic/histrionic symptoms that she is either unaware of out in denial or whatever. She guilts me essentially for being born and anything good she did for me of I'm ever angry, say no, or question her behavior. Everything goes on some hypothetical list to be brought up when she thinks I'm feeling (insert emotion here) about her. What I actually say doesn't matter, and if I'm upset she fabricates emotions for me. Super manipulative and maybe not on purpose but it's to the point where it doesn't even matter. I'd cut off contact before, then brought her back into my life, more as a superficial kind of friend. Anytime she brought up something I didn't want to talk about or was sneaky or inappropriate or was personal that I didn't want her to know, of just ask her a question about herself and she would totally change the subject. It worked great. It seems silly but it seemed like a good alternative. It was going well. Then she does down on her ssri and had a delusional break. Almost killed her/the family cat via neglect and poor care. She fed him chocolate and dairy (after someone told her she shouldn't, which she hates) then when he got sick she didn't clean him for like two days and he almost died (like I had a nap with him that I was convinced wasn't waking up from almost died). I had come to care for him and make the call for when we went to the vet, but then after some basic care he got better and I realized what had happened. Then I realized she wasn't okay. She was saying things that weren't true ("he hasn't eaten all day! " *ate multiple times in front of her) and was in what I would best describe as a child-like episode. I treated her like a child for at least four days till she switched back to normal after the vet gave him a clean bill of health. It was scary and awful and contributed to stress that lead me to being fired. I begged my family for help and nothing. I spent some time trying to figure out what to do. Then we got into a fight and I said no to her and she asked for family counseling. I once after but now I just feel like it would be awful for me. She never asked herself to be vulnerable, she never listens to me and everything is stashed for a guilt trip. But the delusional sort of behavior I've seen before she went on meds. She admits to having anxiety but I think there is a different/more serious underlying condition that is somewhat controlled by meds but has NEVER actually been dealt with. In our fight she accused me of gossiping about her, and I told her what had happened and that I was really worried about her. I begged her to trust me. It didn't work and she just said a bunch of really mean shit. I've been begging her to get real help for years. She's emotionally abusive and I've cut that out for now. I don't know what to do or why I'm even writing this by the end of this whole rant... It's hard. And it sucks. And I don't know what to do.
  5. Hey everyone, how do you feel post meltdown? And how long does it generally last? I had one last night for the first time in a long time and I'm feeling so drained today. I've been paying a lot more attention to my energy since getting back on meds and I was curious what you all find.
  6. Or the fact that aspergers was once only thought to be an issue for boys, and all the preliminary research was only done on boys. That was a long time ago but it takes a long time for information to actually filter down to clinical use and there is still a lot going against girls and women who don't classically present/seem to be functioning fine. Use the word SEEM on purpose because just because it doesn't look the same- doesn't mean it isn't happening. Or that there is misinformation being spread everywhere all over the place, even by the biggest (or should I say especially by the biggest) charity that's supposed to help autistic people. Not to mention that girls and women are taken less seriously about pretty much everything. At least from what I can see here, and what I hear about in America. Generally in tiny little ways that people tend to say "not a big deal" about, but sometimes it's actually a huge deal, and I've found it to be so in the medical community many a time. And so have my girlfriends struggling with mental health.
  7. I did read the post I just got a bit off topic. Er- rather off topic. And quite self involved. I've been away for a while and I was just excited to talk about this stuff , didn't mean to step on any toes.
  8. True, I totally believe that. (That diagnosis has gotten better for everyone, women included) But there are things that have been in the past, and are in some situations, not been recognized as proper autistic symptoms even though they frequently pop up in women. Honestly I shouldn't talk about any sort of assessment process, I've never had a proper one done. My apologies. I'll be trying again to access such services shortly. The only reason it got better for me personally was because I was completely convinced as a child that my apparent lack of empathy, fascinations, and weird social things meant that I was secretly a sociopath that was going to turn out to be a freak serial killer or something. And it caused me an intense amount of distress. Once I found something that after years and years of actively searching I recognized/related to unlike anything else, it made way for me to deal with my issues in a way more productive way. That doesn't mean that they've gone anywhere, they are still there. But not hating them has had a real positive outcome on my functioning in regards to those particular symptoms and has reduced a lot of the anxiety I feel about it. I make the space and time for me to be myself in that regard instead of just feeling like shit about it and trying harder and harder to pretend they don't exist. It gave me permission to think- okay I'm not dangerous I'm just different and actually believe it. And that was really profound. For me personally.
  9. I hit opiates before I noticed "prescription painkillers". But I'm also definitely currently still addicted. Basically, sorry for fucking with the data.
  10. Hey Dragonfly, How are you doing after all this? I know it's been a while since you posted this but I'm reading it now and I want to check in. You made it longer than I have. It's been..... 3 days. Since I abused prescription painkillers. Something I cant actually admit to anyone outside the confines of the internet. I usually make it about a month willingly, then it would all depend on what I could get my hands on. I always said "just one more time" "why not?" and maybe I'll say it again. I'll probably say it again. I'm trying though. You are trying, and you can do it. I know it feels hopeless. Why shouldn't you use? Well this is kind of self centered and about me, but personally I managed for almost a year to keep my moods level DESPITE- not because, even though that's what I told myself some times, my "recreational" drug use. I said "one more time" and I am now in the worst depressive episode I have had in a year, and back on psych meds for the first time in a year. It's been about 4 hours and things are already better. By my timeline you might be back to another "one more time" so I figured I would just leave this here. Proper meds can help, and self medicating works, but never for long. It's only temporary. And then you are back to square one. You can do this Ask for whatever help you need.
  11. For the OP-- TLDR: If you really think that you are on the spectrum, research up and pursue a diagnosis. If you are a woman, be prepared to have to try harder/come bearing info pertaining to girls on the spectrum. As always, we are not doctors and cannot diagnose you. Etc. Etc.
  12. Well I'm not selling it, I think it was Tony Attwood (totally not sure on that though, it was 2 years ago) but it certainly makes sense to me. If you think it's unlikely that you are on the spectrum, knowing a lot of autistic people and and a lot about the spectrum + being online and reading experiences from autistic people.... I'm inclined to believe that you aren't on the spectrum just like how you've said, which kiiinda echos my point. There's a lot of reasons to like and even relate to people on the spectrum, they are awesome afterall... I'm not a doctor by any means, and quite frankly, I don't know that I'm necessarily diagnosable either, anymore. Based on how it negatively affects my life. Which it used to very badly but not so much anymore. (because now I know how to cope, because I know about it) That being said, I don't believe that there is anything that anyone could say to me to make me believe I am not on the spectrum. Because finding autistic people was like finding my home- my tribe. Because my brain works so differently on such a fundamental level that CANNOT be separated from myself like my shitty depression and my fucking annoying ADHD. And because finding people who actually thought like me changed my whole life. Because reading the writing of non-verbal people that parent "advocates" shout "not like my child" about was a hundred times closer to my life experience than all the interactions of my average "peers" put together. Researching it was like reading my life story. Like finding the missing page that was there from the start. When the way you see the world because the person you are is so very different from everyone else, and you finally find people who think like you do, you know. The rest of my mental business is a hodgepodge mess that I don't claim to know much at all about, but this one thing I am very very sure of. Is that everyone's experience? Nope. Does everyone see it the same way? Nope. But it isn't uncommon, and it's rarely wrong. And maybe believing that is naive, but it makes sense to me for the first time in my life and that is big. And I've read a LOT of stories from people who are, to steal a twitter hashtag curently trolling Autism speaks, #ActuallyAutistic- are strikingly similar. Especially for women who are frequently diagnosed later in life. (BTW even if you hate Twitter you should check out the epic battle going on against AS right now for their tenth anniversary. Buzzfeed even wrote about it. People might actually be listening.) Sorry for the off topics bits. Just getting back on my ADD meds
  13. Yesterday I started and finished "Not that kind of Girl" by Lena Dunham, the writer of the HBO show girls. She's had OCD since she was a child (can't comment on that, I don't have it) but I will say that it is REFRESHING AS HELL to see someone in the public eye admitting to struggling with mental illness and telling stories from the not so good days. The book is not, by any means, entirely about that, but it plays a big part. For me personally, just in the middle of a depression relapse, it gave levity to some shit that might not deserve it but definitely needs it. Laugh or cry sometimes I tell ya. It was funny as all hell, wonderfully crafted and for just a minute, made me think that maybe I could actually amount to something. Definitely crass and has some pretty horrible sex tales, but if you've watched girls at all you know what to expect. One example, is a passage about one time that she thought that she had AIDS, peppered with gems like: "Did I have the strength to be an activist?" followed by, "Spoiler alert: I was fine." That any of us who have ever had hypochondriac tendencies/intrusive thoughts can relate too and laugh heartily. I read it aloud to my boyfriend. Certainly not the most sensitive of narratives, it is nonetheless, empathetic and funny for us loony tunes. It received some poor press for some jokes made in bad taste about her sister and some shit she admitted to doing while being a curious child (7 years old). TW: incest, SA. I personally thought it was funny if crass, and not a portrait of actual abuse but more shit kids do when we're not looking. That being said it's not my place to really say, I don't have experience with that sort of stuff. Her sister doesn't think so either and has publicly said so multiple times, figured it prudent to mention though. Not for everyone, definitely great for some. I for one love it that a young woman is writing for books, never mind television, not to mention someone who is frank about the realities of mental illness. I thought it was awesome and I'm a big fan of the show too. Also for anyone who hasn't seen the show, she broaches the subject of mental illness (the character she plays has an OCD relapse in a later season, 2 I think) in a way that I've never seen on television. AKA actually realistic. Worth a watch. Lots of naked people.
  14. Yesterday I started and finished "Not that kind of Girl" by Lena Dunham, the writer of the HBO show girls. She's had OCD since she was a child (can't comment on that, I don't have it) but I will say that it is REFRESHING AS HELL to see someone in the public eye admitting to struggling with mental illness and telling stories from the not so good days. The book is not, by any means, entirely about that, but it plays a big part. For me personally, just in the middle of a depression relapse, it gave levity to some shit that might not deserve it but definitely needs it. Laugh or cry sometimes I tell ya. It was funny as all hell, wonderfully crafted and for just a minute, made me think that maybe I could actually amount to something. Definitely crass and has some pretty horrible sex tales, but if you've watched girls at all you know what to expect. Also for anyone who hasn't seen the show, she broaches the subject of mental illness (the character she plays has an OCD relapse in a later season, 2 I think) in a way that I've never seen on television. AKA actually realistic. Worth a watch. Lots of naked people.
×
×
  • Create New...