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Hannibal Lecter of Serotonin

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  1. I dont understand the phrase "stuff up." is that southern hemisphere talk? because its not making any sense to me. i fully acknowledge my naiveness on this one. db Nice to see you also DB. I'm not very good on Bible quotes. But didn't St Peter, the first Pope deny being associated with Christ 3 times, when asked by the Roman Centurion? Stuffing up = making a bad judgement, (Something I'm prone too.) getting it wrong, or sinning. No person is infallible including Jesus who doubted God, when suffering intense pain on the cross.
  2. I should have known better than to write here. I don't think that it's very likely for the last part Reddog! The odds here are greatly in favour of the former but not from me!
  3. Sorry guys I've been checking on you from time to time and couldn't help myself. I hope I'm not treading on toes, but it's cold here in 'downunder' now, so a bit of a warming might be welcome. Well. Guess all Christians just suck, huh? One petty little guy speaks, the whole flock must follow, eh? Must be nice, living in that little world... (actually listening to people these days, Yes it seems that if one person contradicts Christianity then Christianity is no good, but if 99 confirm Christianity then they are misled. Seems to be a bit contradictory! Is the second paragraph an example for the first? He suffered and died to show us that suffering & death is a fact of life and that he would not ask those he loves to endure pain and death without doing it himself! oh, yeah, i agree on that one. but really, show me a religion or institution or government that doesn't have that problem? it seems to be a universal issue with us humans...we always get some power-hungry charismatic bozo that usurps a good idea and corrupts it. Islam is being destroyed in this manner... Reddog rocks! isn't this pretty much the basis for Roman Catholicism? the Pope has advisors, yes, but he makes all the final decisions, correct? at least i'm from a Democratic religious background... I
  4. From my own experience panic attacks during ramp-up are not uncommon and does not mean the drug will not work. Some side effects in the first few weeks can be very intense yet completely abate. Whereas others don't, so it takes time to evaluate the benefit of a drug. Every drug needs to be evaluated over a period of months not days. Your Doc's apparent lack of interest could be really due to the fact that he has no idea of how it will effect you and it is therefore of no benefit to discuss outcomes it's more of wait and see. Every drug comes with a spiel on possible side effects. I had mouth ulcers which wasn't on the list and my GP thought it a coincidence but it turned out that it was a medium term Side effect. Consider yourself lucky to have a girlfriend. Many MI's can't have or hold a relationship. Hang onto that and to be honest and fair don't hide your problems from her, but also don't over burden her.
  5. Sounds more like an anxiety attack. You could try the old paper bag trick. Breath in and out of a paper bag, the reduction in oxygen will stop a panic attack. Of course you may need to be able to do it privately and under supervision. It may not be practical if the attack happens in a social situation. This advice may be garbage because I have never tried it, but it was told to me once by a Pdoc as a quick remedy for sudden onset panic attacks of the non social situation trigger type.
  6. Trouble is, as I found when I withdrew from Paroxetine, not only had it lost effacy, but was making me worse. So it seems, not only do you have to go on the merry go round to find the right one, but you have to check occasionally that it still works and if not get back on the merry go round. There is a theory that SSRI's have to be rotated to counter 'poop out'. Drug use is not simple, which is why I don't mess with them without my Doc's OK. He doesn't have any more idea than I on what will work or won't, so he is happy for me to decide what to try, but he advises what is most likely to work and if there is any danger. Some people claim that it is possible to stop something that works only to find that it will never work again. However that has not been my experience, but it is a risk that people need to take into account. I would imagine the incidence of this would be low, but a professional would have a better idea of the odds. Which is why it would be better to mess with them under the eye of your Doc.
  7. Some things you just have to do yourself. It's very addictive but easy to wean off with no other drugs by doing it gradually. Expect some moderate anxiety. Of course be aware of everyone being different. My experience might not be the same as yours.
  8. Mine was by mutual agreement. My Pdoc said that I was wasting both our time by not following his advice. I returned that I had had that feeling for some time and maybe he should consider another career. My referring GP let me read his notes on me. The usual thing had happened. You spill your guts out to them and they can't deal with it. They form a low opinion of you and just put in a half hearted effort. My GP said it would make him reconsider referring anyone to that Pdoc again. So at least my GP saw that It was not my fault. The moral of the story is, don't blame yourself. A Tdoc told me that she had to take lots of breaks and carefully watch that she didn't become ill herself. Being a Pdoc or Tdoc is a difficult profession and it is often them getting out of touch with what they are doing that is the problem. If you have displayed anti social behaviour or anything else then they should have at least warned you. I would have thought that if they could not handle your case for personal reasons then they should have at least referred you to a colleague who might be willing to accept.
  9. I'm weaning off Paraxotine to try Fluoxetine but I'm feeling so stable that I'm not going to take the fluoxetine until I show signs of needing it. I'm daring to believe that 15years of Paroxetine has made permanent changes in my skull and I won't need drugs any more. Ha ha Pigs might fly. My most effective dose was only 20mg the base dose. I wean by halving to 10 then 5 then off with 2 week intervals. You have an awesome task because it is hard to determine which ones you need to experiment with and which are vital and dangerous to stop taking. Good luck PS is that a picture of you? You have a kind face particularly the mouth.
  10. Speaking from experience Ativan is a highly addictive drug and once you're addicted it has no benefit at that dose which requires more to have effect. At the worst I was taking 3 X 2.5 mm tablets a day. If I had to face something panic provoking I would need to take extra. I weened myself off over 3 or 4 months. Don't go cold turkey unless you like chain reacting panic attacks. Once free of addiction use it for no longer than 2 weeks at a time and use it as a timed dose for facing an anxiety provoking situation. Eg a Pdoc told me he would take a 1mg tablet an hour or so before giving a public speech. Withdrawal from SSRI's can give you the zapps. Always withdraw slowly. With Paxil I go from 20mg to 10mg then 5mg then off with at least but preferably more than 2 week intervals.
  11. Grrrrr. Your Dr's make me really angry. It should be obvious to anyone that what you need right now is a little bit X a lot of compassion and a hug ,lots of them These dr's or should that be Dicks are saying "get out of the way your emotional problems are trivial we have more important things to attend to like cuts and scratches. In fact you should be treated as an emergency! Emotional pain is the worst type! If you saw someone in pain you would give them a pain killer. By not taking notice of you and taking you to a comfortable room and offering refreshment they are neglecting their duty of care. Possibly the situation occurs more because of their incompetence making them only able to cope with minor cuts and scratches. I'm sure a real Dr would show more concern. There are people who really care about you and would be glad to be your dad and cuddle you and tell you everything will be alright. I hope you can find one soon, but just beware of the wolf done up as Goldilocks. There are also the ones that prey on the vulnerable. In Oz we have phone help for those in your situation, where you could just talk if you wanted or they could direct you to a compassionate organisation that would take you under their wing and be your father. Our main one for depression is 'beyond blue'. Don't worry about the criticism, it seems to be common that the ones closest to us are the ones that will criticise the most. I just let it roll off, like water of a duck. This is the nearest I can get for a cyber hug.
  12. There would be no point in having words of wisdom if everybody had them because we wouldn't need each other. Wisdom is a gift that has to be shared with those that don't have it. Just like wealth is only good for the soul when it is shared with the poor.
  13. First off. forget about the dieing. Secondly people care about you, I do and many others here will also. Your flatmate is blind. Anyone who is depressed shows it in the eyes, a professional will see it strait away. As for the disaster, tomorrows another day. With help from CB you will do better tomorrow. Don't worry about your therapist I'm sure she handles those problems everyday and will understand and be able to help you out of the pits. Just don't think about that death thing, you're scaring me!!! If it gets bad go to an emergency room or get a good friend if possible. Post again and talk about your father if you want to. We are interested. That's why we're here.
  14. OOOhh Kayyy. There is a group of people with the same beef. What seems obviously good advice to others is stupid and annoying to them. The obvious question is... What do you want people here to write? As Olga would say non here have a monopoly on truth. Even a professional doesn't know what is good or stupid to give you. They just have to try Everything until they find what fits you best. There's an old saying 'Ask a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer. What crossed my mind was the possibility that this was a response of frustration. (I tried to give you good advice but you reject everything I say so I'll just respond with a dumb answer "Take something for it".) Maybe I'm right off with this, since I'm not psychic just psycho, but it's just what crossed my mind. Years ago several Pdoc's told me I needed to be a man and think "I'm not going to let this do this to me any more". Well if you reckon that didn't piss me off. Derr Do you tell a man with no legs to use his balls and get up and walk? These 'Professionals' are only succeeding in crushing my self esteem. But at least I was trying something by seeing them if only wasting some time. Another Pdoc told me that I was wasting his time because I disagreed with him. I replied "Yes, I think so! Maybe you should try another career". I didn't find any cures that day but I felt damned good.
  15. All forms of treatment vary enormously in effacy. I would have thought that exercise would benefit everyone due to the release of endorphins. Obviously by some posts this is not the case. Do we really need to have a wealth of experience to put our views forward? It doesn't matter if we write a thousand words of crap. If one word helps someone then it is worthwhile. Modern drugs help many people but they are not the be all and end all or nobody would be writing here. And neither is any other form of treatment. One of the major hurdles in curing an MI especially depression is to get them on the treatment merry go round and keep them there until something works and then making them stay on their treatment. To me exercise is possibly one of the most important. Even if it does nothing directly for the depression it will help in general health with the possibility of coming full circle and helping with the depression. I was told by professionals that if I gave up smoking it would reduce my anxiety. Bullshit! but anyway it was a step well worth doing for all the other beneficial reasons. Don't ever criticise anyone for giving good advice! You never know it might be the very thing that works for you, but if it doesn't at least it shows someone cares.
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