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About Loon-A-TiK

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    Is there no way out of the mind? - Sylvia Plath

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    The Armpit of America
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    Check me out on MySpace: MySpace URL: <br /> <br /> http://www.myspace.com/violetfire1978 <br />

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  1. to answer your question in your first post, i don't have a clue about what happened! that's just weird. i'm not a violent person at all and i can't imagine something like that being possible for people who don't have temper issues. i'm sorry that you had that experience. maybe your pdoc would know, or be able to answer questions about possibly what kind of chemical balance shift would have maybe caused it somehow. it was probably your meds for sure.
  2. well, to my great pleasure, my MIL seems to have warmed up. i got married! at our wedding, she was crying. she hugged me and kissed me. my husband said that she was happy to have me in the family. this is a much better start than what i thought was going to happen! every time i've seen her since, she's been outstandingly nice to me. i thought it was going to be a train wreck. we talk to each other through my husband or brother-in-law, and it seems to be going well. i'm happy she doesn't seem to hate me anymore! also, yes, he does celebrate christmas. he's catholic. i've been
  3. my tdoc told me today that their practice (a county-funded practice for low income people) doesn't accept private insurance. i just got a job (and don't know how long it will last, probably a day like always) and i have private insurance. i seem to remember that they will let you pay for your treatment on a sliding scale if you have to pay out of pocket, but i'm not sure. do you think that in this case it would be better to stick with my current team (a pdoc, nurse, and tdoc) or change to one my insurance will pay for? it is cheaper to go with the insurance, true, but probably more
  4. i'm sorry that i couldn't read through the thread, however i'll answer your first question, and that is what you're supposed to get out of therapy. i guess i can just answer that for myself, because i'm sure we all have different goals and i probably haven't heard of half the goals other people have. for me, feeling good enough about myself to change negative thoughts and habits has been a major goal in therapy. she's taught me what thoughts to challenge and how to challenge them, to the point now where they are rare. i'm not thinking that people hate me automatically anymore, just that
  5. i take 20mg abilify. i tend to be really sensitive to AAPs, but abilify has been treating me good so far. i haven't had major problems with it, besides the tremors we suspect are being caused by it. i did lose a little weight when i started taking it, but that could have been also because i was feeling better and so exercising more. i *think* that most people have a good experience with it. my pdoc loves RXing it. he said it's the one he RXes the most.
  6. i'm getting married at 3pm tomorrow, so i consider my fiance's family to already be in-laws. he is 36 and his mom is 68. the first time i met her, i didn't know how to greet her, so i shook her hand. i was supposed to do this kiss on the cheek 3 times thing and i didn't know that. he didn't tell me! so that's strike 1. i think she just hated me after that, or jsut didn't want to know me. or maybe she's just a bat. i don't know! but anyway, she makes me feel very uncomfortable around her. i feel like she hates me. my fiance says she doesn't hate me, but that she just doesn't know me. wel
  7. i like to think of this when i start to panic about my finances, and believe me, with being on SSDI i panic all the time... i think that because i'm more stable than i was a little while ago, that i'll be able to use the mental and emotional energy the BP would be taking up on creatively figuring out how to beat my situation. you know, it does work. the more stability you get, the easier it is to think about strategy. i think that's kind of what sucks though. when we really need our wits, they're not there. at least, i know that's true for me. your copays must suck! can your pdoc give
  8. you really carry around a lot of self-blame. i've noticed that lately with alot of us. i do it too! we blame ourselves for our disorder(s) and everything else possible. we have this guilt complex. i think it's natural for us to blame ourselves when we have people in this world who love us, but who just don't get it. they think it's something that we could control...if we were just motivated enough, we could somehow break through everything holding us back. that isn't the case. what makes it possible is stability. you don't get that with diet and exercise, but those things do help. not
  9. Tommy- i really admire that you're listening to your docs, and doing the best thing for YOU by leaving. from what you've said in the past, she is abusive and no one deserves that, especially someone as sensitive and caring as yourself. it's a good thing that your ex wife still loves you and wants to reconcile. best wishes! leave however you have to leave. don't feel at all bad if you have to leave a letter. that's what you need to do if you feel you need to do it that way. i left my first husband with a letter and never regretted that i left that way. i left him during a mania and had
  10. we talked about the failure to clean before, but because it was awhile ago and there are a lot of new members, i thought i'd do a Part 2. i had junk piled up ceiling high in my closet, which is the size of a small office, complete with window. i hadn't cleaned it since i moved in 2 1/2 years ago! since then, all i did when i "cleaned" my apartment was just put more stuff in the closet. now, because my fiance is moving in, i had to clean the closets in the apartment to make room for him. i had to go through all that stuff, and it took a couple of DAYS. so, that was a part of my failu
  11. i'm sorry you're dealing with a lot of garbage and have a lot on your mind. did you just quit lamictal? do you have a mood stabilizer?
  12. thank you, thank you! i'm not the only one around here who can't spell the "aka" word! i'm sorry you're in the hospital. get well soon! i take 20mg Abilify. it could be contributing to my shakes and tremors, but we don't know because i take so many things. i'm pretty happy on it though, so i'll keep taking it. it knocked out my last depression, along with a lamictal increase.
  13. Do you love it? it was pretty good while i was taking it What changes did you notice? i just felt my moods become way more anchored How quickly does it start working? it was working in a couple of weeks What is your serum level? 900 for me How much water do you drink a day? more than a gallon! i took Li when i was in college, after college, and years later during an umployed time when i was in the work force. it's a really good med and does really work well for a lot of people. of course there are people who like it and don't, but i think overall it has its share of fans. one of m
  14. waterfall, i think it's good that you got a DX, and that you have a name and definition for what is bothering you and making your life hell. you still have to deal with the issues we do, just wtih a different underlying cause. i also have the machine gun fantasies. do you ever feel that way in the store when they won't stop playing christmas music? - loon
  15. we've already got the standard in-law hate going on, and i just got engaged. his mom hates me because i didn't know how in her culture to greet her when i first met her (3 kisses on the cheek- now i know), so i shook her hand. she thought i was rude. now, my fiance is the subject of scorn. my mom was talking about how she doesn't like vegas and doesn't think we should go there to get married and for our honeymoon, and he said t her "you're not the one going there!". OOHHHH- my mom is furious. how can i not only get his mom to like me, considering that she doesn't speak english, and
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