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Everything posted by Borderliner

  1. Hahaha Are you serious, i doubt what you say could write something Is this related to your blood and veins? If yes I am it too. Actually now I am a cell cake with some dwarf operating a manivele/winch that makes my fluids move to their bounds. Fucking dwarf I hope he never stops working!
  2. I think there is no limit for this. Getting tottaly apart for real world is the limit just for those wathing you. I saw some freaking crazy guys unnable to speak or whatesle, and I always imagined what was going throught their minds. We know what a baby wants or feels cuz they cry until you gives what they want. Thats their way to comunicate. When theres not a simple communication with others, insanity cant be mesured.
  3. I know how it feels. Sometimes I feel like im God, perfect in all means. I love myself to the point of being narcissist. So then comes the "black" side of me and it goes to the opposite. Its strange cause sometimes a photo of me confuses me alot. I realized that these things happens not just for my own self-steem, but for everyone. I can see a handsome woman and then begin to find her uggly for an instant, then go back again. I really am "black or white". Thats what makes we borders so sensitive about the others says, as we dont have a solid self-steem.
  4. Just to add. My fault, you said its not enjoyable so forget what I said about you like it. Another thing, you may be having panic attacks, they do crazy stuff. So ask your doc about this. There is solution, benzos are great. But they are very addictive though. Cheers
  5. You are trying to know what disorder fit in your condition. I am not an expert, nor medic. Ok future medic but thats mean nothing heh. Its known that most of symptoms of despersonalization and dissociation occurs when the person is alone and may little depressed. Also this is very common in teenage. But, like everything else involving our mind, its unique. So, theres not a coexistent feeling over each person for each condition been exacty the same. What the psychology does is get some similar reports and name it for a "disorder". An exemple of this is what occurs with drugs. Take lsd for exemple, the same substance cause enormous different reactions. What I am trying to say is, you possible have a type of dissociation, or what you have is not diagnosticable. You may even have other "rotule". I can tell you that I am able not just to understand your feelings, but also feel it because I've taken a lot of LSD and I felt like this many times. The world seemed more real. Im not saying that you are tripping like acid. But in fact, dissosciation is a "crazy" mode to see/react to world, like what Lsd does. I do think its what your doc said, but only you know how it feels. Its possible that it has a little punch by you being schizoyd so I would make some questions when it happens Do you feel excitaded and have difficult sleeping? Feel racing thoughts or be extremely focused for a simple thing? Do you get upper senses, like music better, tactical better, smeels, body tics, feelings of pleasure in the body? This would be a exess of dopamine in your brain, what should be more for a schizo stuff. However, this is common too with just dissociation alone. One thing I can assure you is that your not dissociative most times as you may think, if it was you would go crazy and end up in a clinical. At night you are having a kind of rush and maybe this hole thing is enjoyable for you. Be ok, been dissociative is kind of been intelligent, not a robot like most people are!
  6. Are you borderline? Ask your doc to try it. if you haven't tried any type of amphetamine before could work like it did to me. Im curious ok, but its not my intention to medicate yourself, just seeing that you suffer from symptoms like me i guess its worth a try. Be safe.
  7. I had great response for BPD with vyvanse. I made a post about it. Maybe we need something more immediate I think. Everyone is different though. Controlling your feelings with downers its the psychs first choice, allways. The fact is, we have the most difficult disorder to treat, any doc would be afraid to prescribe anything abusable cuz they dont want to test us for that. Only you know yours limits. It looks like we are in some kind of limbo, seeing others as what we should be. However, sometimes the opposite. Or even not decided or decided to not be "black or white" and be the two. I believe most think like this. anarchists in mind and plus attitude.
  8. i know they used amphetamine for depression before cames all this new ad's they claim are not addictive
  9. Ok where to start... hate this... ok I'm 21 and I'll tell a brief of my story. I had a great infancy lets say before 9 years blahblahbla but at some point I started to get more and more introverted and "fragile". Later got bullied in school. My adolescence was conflicting. at 18 i started to use LSD, it was fantastic and so I realized that I needed help for my depression. ok. Soon I started to do cocaine and soon alot of coke and u know- rehab bolocks. in the meantime got various "suicidal" attempts (but never intended to kill myself, just self-harm or so). OK thats a just little of my life and would be impossible to write it all cuz i dont remember alot. THE POINT IS. Im diagnosed with Major Depression, Borderline Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Bipolar and ADHD (is it even possible to have all of these disorders together, if not more?). Thats what I know cuz my psych hides the rest. I can say that I tried almost all antidepressants/antipsychs/stimul/anxiolytics and never got good results. also many illegal drugs. So far, recently i've switched my ritalin 60mg to vyvanse 100mg. I must tell you, it changed my life 180 degrees. Now I can feel normal, positive, calm, motivated etc. and not anymore irritable, depressed, craving drugs/alcohol, self-harmfull etc. Why vyvanse solved all the problems that the others didnt? is that possible cause I dont see so many people using it as a anti-depressant other than just for ADHD? What i mean, vyvanse makes me awesome because makes me fell normal. I know its an amphetamine and is addictive blah blah. I really dont care as much as i dont get tolerance (which i'm not). I don't feel euphoria, feel nromal happyness. It also feels natural. Sure taking a higher dosage would be euphoric, but i dont plain to do so, its like im healed from drug abuse now. Anyway I like to share my experience, maybe some others with resistant-depression who dont respond to traditional ad's should try this shit.
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