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About Breebree93

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    That one guy

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    DX (for certain)

    Suspected DX's

    History of substance/alcohol abuse

    Zoloft 50mg
    Nuerotin 800mg
    Trazadone 150-300mg

    I enjoy art, animals, and music. I don't have an exciting life...but I'm trying. So. That's it :)

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  1. I absolutely can NOT stand when people say "Hey girl!" When someone says the word "rainbow" what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
  2. I like wearing Sweet Pea body spray from Bath and Body Works. My favorite scent for a man is Angel For Men I love smellies!
  3. I am a beautiful human being I am a very talented artist I have a HUGE heart I know how to show empathy I have potential
  4. I posted something similar in "not otherwise specified" or whatever, but since taking these medications I have a tic, my head or shoulder (only the left side) will twitch or jerk really hard, and I can't control it. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it asap, but has anyone else ever experienced this, if so, did it go away after you stopped the meds? I'm worried about it becoming permanent.
  5. -I can take control over my life -I can and have been setting and sticking to boundaries -I am a good friend to the friends I do have -I value my family and friends -I value my life
  6. I'll discuss it with the tdoc asap. I don't want it to be my brain...or for me to develop anything really serious.
  7. Sorry for using the forum thing as a topic post... Possible Trigger warning! To start off, I am going to say that I do not and WILL not talk to my ex boyfriend (or get back with him) This is kind of a ranty post due to the fact that blogs are down and I want to see if other people have been through this is well and how/when they stopped feeling this way. Bear with me? I am still having a very hard time accepting the fact that my ex boyfriend abused me to gain control over me...even though it is becoming VERY obvious. I think of his childhood, the way he was brought up, his pain and anger...and think "Well, maybe that's why he is so aggressive?" but just because he grew up a certain way doesn't mean he HAD to do the things he did to me. Sometimes I would think to myself, "Oh well, maybe it's just the drugs or the alcohol talking? He didn't mean to hurt me..." as now I am starting to believe he really just wanted to have power over me. (This isn't really my question for others right now...) My big question (to people who abuse others/try to be the "dominant" person) is why? What is it that makes you want to have control over another living creature?...Is it because you were abused? Neglected? Because your ex left you and you're afraid I'm going to leave?...even though you beat her...? It makes no sense to me. I don't understand WHY he wanted that much power over me...why he felt the need to keep me hidden from the world and tried to make me look less appealing, hurled insults my way, beat me, tormented me through hurting others...it doesn't make sense! I feel awful, because even though I KNOW he was in the wrong! Even though I KNOW he wanted power over me...I still love him and feel sorry for him. I don't want to! I don't want to say "Oh, well he didn't mean to." anymore. He CHOSE to abuse me...I don't get it! I really don't. I was wondering how other survivors dealt with this? I don't know how to explain this, because I know he doesn't deserve my love, and still yet, I feel a love for him. Am I crazy?...Is this normal? I don't want to beat myself up for it anymore. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused.
  8. I grew up with my grandma, whom, is a big of a hermit. She doesn't go out and always warned me about strangers and getting raped and kidnapped...so when certain things happen it made it worse. (It was kind of like, "Wow, she was right!", until I realized not EVERYONE goes through that) My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and my father with depression and anxiety disorders...I didn't grow up around them though. Some of the "crazy" was passed onto me though.
  9. I'm thinking a sponsor would be a good idea, I'm scared though...it's hard for me to say "Hi, I'm Brittney and I'm an alcoholic.". That SCARES me....I don't want to think that I have a problem. I hate to think that alcoholism is my problem (on top of BPD and PTSD).
  10. They wouldn't send me to rehab, but I did go to a crisis intervention center for two weeks. I've been trying A.A. I just need to get my ass to the meetings.
  11. Very understandable. Five years is a very long time to go without! Congratulations! If it does happen, remember that relapse is a part of recovery. I wish you the best of luck.
  12. Early in the morning after a good nights sleep, that or late late at night. If you could only see one color for the rest of your life, what color would you want it to be?
  13. -I am cute -I am confident -I can get through the pain -I have the ability to do and be whoever and whatever I want
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