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~nestling~

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About ~nestling~

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    fragile yet strong

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  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    London
  • Interests
    Reading, creative and journal writing, creative dance, online forums, recovery, modern art.

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  1. Thanks @Gearhead. The med is completely new to me. I'm going to see how I am when I get back from my parents after Christmas, and maybe call the single point of access crisis line. Because since I posted this thread, things have got even worse, as yesterday a letter was delivered to my address without my name, with another name, and it was a debt collection letter. I've informed them and they've said they've taken the address off their records. But even so I've been completely panicked. Like when I had the psychosis episode, but this isn't psychosis this is worse, it's real. I hope that that's the end of the contact, but you know what anxiety does. I've been obsessively searching online about people with similar experiences, though I've managed not to do that this evening.
  2. It's been tipping with rain pretty much all day here. But it's been mild, at least.
  3. When it was bad 3 years ago I was obsessively checking and searching re bad signs re tech up until like 3 in the morning, not eating, not sleeping, 24/7 quietly frantically panicked I was being spied on. It's not as bad at the moment, but I can see warning signs that are a bit similar. The psych nurse at my GPs only works every other Thursday, and I'm on the waiting list for an appointment with her. She's psych liaison so works across lots of practices.
  4. That's good that the nurse was so helpful. Over here there is a lot of red tape. It wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't been discharged. If I hadn't been I would have had a follow up around this time to sort things more. Mind you, they can't take away this tech 'glitch' of mine. I've taken my meds for tonight now, and I feel a bit calmer for now, but it doesn't last, and I'm still scared to go offline because I'll be totally alone then.
  5. The CMHT or my GPs? If it's the CMHT I reckon they would direct me to the crisis line - which would probably direct me to the CMHT... Trouble is it's *that* time of year isn't it. Bad time of year to have a crisis...
  6. They only discharged me just over a month ago, but technically my GP could do that. I see her on the 2nd January - I couldn't get an appointment sooner, and that's when I made it a couple of weeks ago.
  7. They hurt my feet and make a floppy noise that annoys me. I don't wear them. I don't get people who wear them around here, this isn't a beach! Do you like Christmas pudding?
  8. That's the border of anxiety and psychosis/delusion. Fact is, I have a tech glitch of some kind [too paranoid to describe it here, though it's probably totally benign, but mind says no] and it's triggering the hell out of me. I am close to that psychosis-place I was in 3 years ago. I feel raw, frantic and out of sorts. A month ago my low dose anti-psychotic was changed, and I feel worse not better, so far anyway. I can't bear it if I have another breakdown. I can't bear it if the tech glitch is suspicious [though it probably isn't, but.] I was discharged by the CMHT, so I don't have a psychiatrist any more. I don't know what to do.
  9. Is it normal for anxiety to be worse to begin with when starting this? I am dangerously close to the psychosis type place I was in 3 years ago. Like last time, it started with a tech glitch. Well, last time it started with a job loss, but you know what I mean? I can't find a deeper root to this time apart from it's the same time of year. It's not anywhere near as bad as last time, but I know the warning signs.
  10. Thanks for the explanation, that really helps. :)
  11. My anxiety makes total sense in the context of my past... Fact is though, at the moment I'm anxious about everything again. I realised that it's having come off 3 meds all at once that had a soothing effect on my anxiety.. yes, I'm on the Olanzapine now instead, but it takes time to sink in.
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