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About Meerrorz

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    Cincinnati, OH
  • Interests
    Swimming, Swimming, General Exercise, Food and Wine, Alcohol that I can't drink.

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  1. Suggestion, caffeine doesn't always help with attention deficit disorder. It can make it worse and exacerbate the feelings of disorganization in your mind, i.e., scatter-brain. What you describe seems to me like ADD. And yes, reall ADD = misery. For now, just use what helps you, take breaks every 20-30 minutes, even earlier if it works better for you. Do things like: take walks, brief exercise, try eating healthy by minimizing simple carbs, i.e., white bread, soda, Star Bucks coffee drinks that have 100 grams of sugar and 300 mg caffeine. All in all, though, your doctor will be the one making the decisions about the subject, so do what you can do in the mean time to help yourself.
  2. There's a few things I can think of for stimulants and depression/anxiety: 1. Stimulants are known to, in tons of cases, work against treating anxiety, or flat out make it worse. You mentioned this. 2. It's tough to say whether or not someone's really prone to anxiety or just experiences anxiety because they have trouble fitting in or accomplishing tasks and goals. So medication may exacerbate anxiety, as in your case, or help anxiety. 3. Adderall or stimulants in general are sometimes prescribed, quite off label mind you, to patients experiencing extreme depression to combat fatigue and apathy. The prescription is generally temporary as many anti-depressants have a longer onset period. I'd say, as you were inpatient, that case #3 certainly applies to you, as does case #1. There's the catch and sorta shows the complexity of MI and medication. In general: I really don't think there's a bi-conditional or even conditional correlation between depression and ADHD; and I add that I especially don't feel there's a correlation between depression and ADHD versus simple ADD. This is all to say that I don't feel that depression causes ADHD, but ADD-like symptoms could certainly be consequent, such as inattentiveness, general disinterest, etc. I think it's fair to leave the H out of ADHD. There is certainly a statistical correlation between ADD/ADHD and depression/anxiety, though. It's like knowing you have potential to accomplish tasks and goals, yet being paralyzed from doing so. This can result in depression for sure, but also anxiety. Individuals may find themselves incredibly hesitant about taking risks, especially academically and in the workplace. Once one learns that it may be incredibly difficult to accomplish these tasks or goals, say the task is passing a class and the goal is getting an A and one is afraid that their symptoms may inhibit them from accomplishing either, inhibiting fear and anxiety can occur. In essence, taking a class or starting a new job may be a risk, and may feel that they're probably going to fail in the endeavor, thus there is anxiety.
  3. I know excessive stimulant usage, such as that of stimulant medication therapy for ADHD, has been shown to lower the threshold for seizures, especially in children. I had partial and simple focal seizures as a child, probably as a result of these medications. Some of the problems I deal with now may be a result of those seizures.
  4. I'm sure it's relatively difficult in some patients to differentiate between Ultradian Cycling Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. It took years, literally 10-15 years for myself as well as my therapists and psychiatrists to realize that I suffer from a rather mild (no psychosis, nothing more than hypomania or moderate depression) cyclothymia as well as borderline personality disorder. The fluctuations in the "bipolar" aspect cause exaggerations in the borderline aspect. The issue was that of stimuli. In a days span I could have severe mood swings that were caused by a stimulus, even if it wasn't apparent at the time, of some kind. I would also have very long term cycles that would last several months of intense anxiety or moderate depression. Accompanied by lasting paranoia and insomnia, or totally not giving a shit about anything and sleeping 14 hours a day.
  5. I really struggle with mixed states. I can go for a month where a single thought occupies my mind probably 75% of the time, not even exaggerating. I get frustrated, break things, don't sleep and become incredibly irritable, usually results in problems at work too. The other half of the time I just feel like I'm worthless, which is awesome. But... Lamictal and Klonopin have been my heros lately. I've always struggled with mixed states, ups and downs, but it got way too out of control after the new year. My hands were shaky, night sweats were bad, really hard time keeping balance, but those were all consequent of the fresh meds and have almost all subsided.
  6. I'm not necessarily IN YOUR FACE about being Bipolar, I'm medicated and people usually think I'm pretty okay, even if I think I'm being a complete asshole or a dull dork. If I am drinking alcohol, obviously try not to in excess, I will sometimes disclose the fact that I take meds that exacerbate the alcohol and sometimes the symptoms. If they ask what meds I just tell them klonopin and clonazepam. Sometimes they say (oh that's serious, but whatever). Especially when I have to drive home, women don't usually seem upset about me staying...
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