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honeydipped

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  • Content Count

    12
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About honeydipped

  • Rank
    Member

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  • Website URL
    http://www.brightershadeofgray.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    Vancouver, Canada
  • Interests
    animal welfare, veterinary sciences, ethology, video games, hip hop, drum n bass, being a nerd, intellectual pursuits
  1. well this was a first... ECT number 13 and this time i... peed! has anything like this ever happened to any of you guys? the nurse told me it was normal but from now on i am going to make sure i, erm, alleviate myself BEFORE ECT to try and avoid this happening again. it was none too awesome.
  2. thanks guys... i'm halfway done my first round of treatment, 6 of 12. i really like the nursing staff and most of the doctors so that makes it all so much more bearable... and not much in the way of side effects either so i'm feeling pretty blessed! most importantly, it seems to be making a bit of a positive difference
  3. yep its this or nothing... my list of meds has 22 failed drugs on it or over ten years. talk therapy, CBT, DBT, hypnosis, even medical marijuana, the list goes on of treatments i've tried but i guess my illness us just too damned stubborn. i have left my apartment and am staying with my parents until the time comes so they figure i am 'safe' ...and i would really rather be out of the hospital than in it i suppose. i ended up in the er last week but when they learned i was already on the list at another hospital for ect they sent me home. honestly the hospital has never done much for me in the past .. plus i ~know~ i have to at least try this last ditch option. giving up now would be pretty stupid.
  4. thanks guys. yeah it will be done as outpatient, thus the wait time. its rough, being in the sort of limbo, just crossing off the days on the calendar until i get the treatment. plus its been a really rough couple of weeks... i feel i need it now more than ever. but there is light at the end of the tunnel.... i hope!
  5. i hear ya loud and clear. i'm on seroquel, the granddaddy of weight gain meds. its rough because hating my own reflection and feeling like an elephant all the time really ties in to my mental state. yes the med helps my anxiety but i wonder how much better i would feel if i were 30 pounds lighter... probably lots.
  6. also, i am taking Kitty Dukakis' book 'Shock' out from the library. my sister, parents and close friend want to read it too. i am sure it will help me prepare for the whole ordeal.
  7. for whatever silly reason i decided to look to about.com for first hand accounts of ECT, and completely terrified myself (there was a lot of 'ECT RUINED MY LIFE' talk and 'ECT TOOK MY SISTER AWAY' however, about.com is also the garbage heap of informational sites, so i came here. your self reported experiences align much more closely with what my doctors have told me... and i am feeling much better. i still have to get the requisite second opinion (canadian medical law) but if everything goes according to plan i should start my treatments in early October. i am more hopeful than trepidatious and have the utmost faith in my psychiatrist. i just want to feel alive again. i will gladly experience some cognitive side effects if it helps even in the slightest.
  8. howdy. my name is kate, i'm 32 and living in beautiful BC, Canada. i first dealt with depression at the tender age of 19 and recieved treatment for it all along the way, but it wasn't until 2008 when i was 28 that everything really came apart. i'm currently on disability assistance ... i admit it has been hard to see all my friends/cohorts become doctors and lawyers and the like and still having to put my life on hold. the good news is, i've been highly responsive to a new med called Latuda, after a laundry list of like 30+ failed medications and cocktails. it is only in the past four weeks that i've began to feel a little bit of life sneaking back in, and i'm waiting with bated breath.. see every good say as a gift and probably will for the rest of my life if i become depression free. i also suffer from social anxiety disorder which is still going strong. i think my story is pretty much a nature/nurture one. i had a predilection towards depression and i blew it wide open with a hard drug problem in the early 2000s and triggered what was already there full scale. so i deal with some guilt too. i earned myself a degree in linguistics but my career goals and passion lie within the veterinary field and i want to work with the fuzzy and feathered. i have two chinchillas, a cat and a lovebird. they are a source of joy when nothinng else comes close. anyways this is already too long winded. this forum looks awesome and very useful and i'm looking forward to looking around! Kate
  9. i know all too well the feeling of letting people down by bailing on them. story of my life. in the end i learned not to commit myself to ANYTHING, EVER, because chances were i'd be too sick to go. i'm glad you have a supportive family and friends. this sounds trite but if they are true blue you never have to worry about letting them down because all they want is whats best for you. still doesn't help the guilt though. i guess it helps me to think about how its not really me doing the bailing, its the disease. and you can't blame yourself for something you can't control.
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