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About Cerberus

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    The Abyssal Inn

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  1. Perhaps, for you, rather than coprolalia, you suffer from apololalia, in which you utter sudden and uncontrollable apologies at frequent intervals.
  2. The irony of that is that the Irish and the Scots don't think you do it enough, and the people in most of the former British colonial empire are all like, "Say it again louder, WE CAN'T HEAR YOU..."
  3. Zucchinis?! Watch your mouth - this is a quality establishment. At least in America, it has been known for people to use 'zucchini' as a synonym for 'penis'. Of course, as of a recent tabulation, there are over 250 synonyms for 'penis' in common use today, so I suppose it's all about context. And quit being so emmereffingly apologetic for no fricking reason, saying 'sorry' over every dagnabbit thing. Don't go around telling women to check out your courgette. Because then you'll have to explain, and there's no way that can end well, on either side of the Pond.
  4. I can't stand the stuff myself, but I have wondered why people don't just take the beans as pills and be done with it.
  5. Steve223 - Tourette's is part of my dx, but I don't have unregulated potty-mouth. I'm not sure if it will help the mental process you use to fight against the irrational fears that trouble you, but you might find it useful to read a little about Tourette's and the ways it manifests. Speaking obscene words involuntarily is called coprolalia - literally, "dung-talking" - and only affects about 1 in ten persons with Tourette's syndrome. Nor does it always manifest as shouting "Fuck" at random intervals - I've read about men who, for instance, to their deep embarrassment, find themselves quite clearly announcing "TITS!" if they happen to see a woman pass. My own vocal tic manifests as a kind of low, quiet nasal growl in the back of my sinuses. My brother's, alas, makes him sound like a turkey. Some people's tics are purely physical, ranging from barely noticeable twitches to gross motor activity. My own condition doesn't venture into the range of loss of physical control unless I'm under extreme stress, and then I'll have head twitches, then shoulder twitches, and if the sky is falling and I must go and tell the King, my whole arm can jerk. But that almost never happens. The good news is that the medication Tenex subdues all this very neatly. At least it does for me. So you can always reassure yourself that if you ever did develop Tourette's, you can keep a tight lid on it. 🙂
  6. Don't panic. Injectable treatments for ED are not nearly as horrid as one would imagine. For reasons I will not attempt to relate, I experienced the application of one of these, something simple enough to do oneself. A quite thin needle is inserted practically painlessly into the corpus cavernosum (refer to google or a copy of Gray's Anatomy if you should happen to have one upon your person) and a small amount of the substance, usually alprostadil (Caverject) or a combination therapy referred to as Trimix is injected, again, painlessly. In approximately 5-15 minutes, the medication begins to take effect pretty much whether you're aroused or not, unlike Viagra, which only assists you when you're feelin' frisky. I do hope you can avoid implants - I've met a couple of men who have had to have them, and they do not recommend it.
  7. It depends on who you are. *coughcoughTrumpcoughahem*
  8. Gears! SH! You'll have everyone self-medicating with bacon.
  9. Studies to date have only discovered the presence of viral particles in patients post-recovery, or in a few in advanced stages of illness. No study has indicated, or been performed to test, that COVID-19 can actually be transmitted via sexual contact, and even if it can, that route of transfer can be prevented by the same means you would prevent any other STD. I would draw everyone's attention to this article from the American Sexual Health Association on "Sex in the Time of Covid-19", which answers many questions. And Notloki... I'm going to let you try the visqueen thing and let us know how it goes before I take the leap. We await your report with interest and a possibly mild titillation. Or I might have an ant crawling up my the inside of my pants leg. Not sure.
  10. Have you tried setting fire to your house right before your appointment?🔥 Just an idea...
  11. mikl_pls - Pull yourself together, man. Everyone here knows you're suffering in a bad way. Nobody questions that. We all do what we have to do to get through to the next day. Me, I've had to make the conscious decision for now to ignore my GP's instructions about my diabetes because if I don't self-medicate with sweet food I'll go dog-barking mad. We hear you loud and clear. It's the fact that you do speak so loudly and clearly here that's what concerned Saintalto. People here listen to you. That's a fact. That means that because you choose to speak, you bear a greater responsibility to the members of this community than the average member. You've made yourself an authority on your subject. You've been of immense help to a great number of people, who now look to you for certain types of information. You may not want the responsibility, but there it is. You created it yourself. I used to write here about my personal struggle with treatment-resistant Depression. Over time, I realized that my writing became darker and darker, until at last I decided to stop altogether rather than be responsible for members reading it and being pulled down by my despair. That was me deciding that my responsibility to others outweighed the benefit I would personally get from talking about my own problems on the boards. I'm not suggesting in any way that you stop posting - quite the opposite. I'm just saying that you must realize that you can't be, to use your word above, "lazy" with what you say. If mikl_pls sources his meds from someone besides his pdoc, then that might be an option, others may think, and as a peer-support site, we can't get behind that even if it's working for you in this particular situation. With regard to this situation, especially if others have noticed the change in the pdoc's professional behavior since the death of her husband, she needs to be confronted on it, not as arguments that given dosages would be better, but observations that her behavior has changed and is affecting patients. If you can find some way to talk to a colleague of hers in the practice, or if you know other patients who can independently corroborate these changes, perhaps someone can present this to her in such a way that she has to at least reflect on her own bias. Lastly - threatening us with leaving? Really? We usually only get that from self-absorbed nits with usernames like BlueSkyCryin' [not an actual member] who tell people what to do every other post and argue with the Mods. What good would leaving do anybody? Don't be irrational. And speaking of arguing with the Mods, you know better than to lash out at Saint like that. Knock that shit off. We want you just as you are, but just... chill. Cerberus
  12. That's already basically a thing. There's a whole culture of people into rubber and latex body suits. Not judging.
  13. It would be just as effective to quarantine your prospective new partner in your closet for 14 days before getting it on, but it might spoil the mood. Seriously, there does seem to occasionally be a disconnect between theoretical science and applied science here. The thing to realize, especially since we're talking about sex, is that life=risk. You cannot be alive without risk of death. Indeed, we all face a 100% chance of dying, the only question is how long we're going to postpone the event, and whether the people around us are going to need a mop. COVID-19 is a pathogen. We got lotsa that. Pathogens are all around us. Fortunately, most of us have immune systems strong enough to beat off the vast majority of the little buggers without them causing us any inconvenience. We just haven't met this COVID dude before, and he fights dirty. Never mind - we'll get him sorted out in the end, eventually. But there are other nasty guys out there who can still jump you in a dark alley, too, and they've been with us for ages. Remember gonorrhea? Chlamydia? Syphilis? (She's a baaaad girl...) HIV, HPV, Herpes, Hepatitis A, B, & C? All of these pathogens are sex specialists and every time one of us considers intimacy with a new partner, there's a possibility that one of these nogoodniks may come along for the ride. Some of them, unlike COVID, are bacterial; others, like COVID, are viruses. Some are curable; others, like COVID, are not. None of this stops most people from hooking up. It doesn't even stop many people for saying "oh, what the hell" when they realize neither party has protection. STD clinics do a brisk business. So what's the difference between any of these pathogens and COVID-19 that should make you think any differently about the risk? There are two: 1) There is a small risk, somewhat higher if you are a member of certain risk groups, that COVID-19 will actually kill you rather quickly if you get it. Even HIV won't do that. 2) Even if it doesn't kill you, or even make you feel sick, you have the potential to pass it on to others when you go home, go to work, go to school, etc. Unlike the STDs, your liability as a spreader of disease isn't limited to subsequent sex partners. That is to say, you don't have to go home and...well...do [sound of elevator music playing 'Bicycle Built For Two'] with your grandmother in order to put her life in jeopardy just because you decided that that other person looked like a good lay. SO. First things first. Decide for yourself how much risk you are prepared to take for yourself, and how much risk you can ethically take with regard to those in your immediate circle. Sex is one of the basic human needs identified in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which means it's not reasonable to expect people to go without sexual release indefinitely. At some point something is going to have to give. You have to decide at what point the risk of a sexual encounter that has a small chance of exposing you to the coronavirus is an acceptable risk on a par with getting in your car and driving to the grocery (a small risk to life and limb every time you do it). If you decide you can take a risk for yourself, you must then decide how you will mitigate any possible risk to those in your circle if the worst should happen. If you can square that with yourself and know that you're not going to end up killing someone accdentally, then move on to the next step: You get to know the person from a socially safe distance, and have a frank discussion about whether they have any symptoms of coronavirus infection, have traveled out of the country or to any known coronavirus hotspot within the last two weeks, or have been around anyone known to have been exposed to COVID-19. If things go well, take their temperature (anally if you're kinky) before doing The Thing. By this point, you're committed. Both people wearing a mask is kind of pointless at this stage. There are demonstrations online of how far droplets travel even when someone is wearing a mask, and if you're close enough for [sound of elevator music playing 'The Girl from Ipanima'] then they're going to be useless anyway. Now, this isn't to say that you need to get all French and tongue-sloppy with the kissing - use some common sense, for God's sake. Next step: If things go well, if you haven't done so already, tell each other your names, then exchange contact information, and quarantine yourselves - separately - for 14 days to make sure you're safe to be around your loved ones. Don't break quarantine except to go to the grocery, the pharmacy, or to have a doctor look at the odd rash that just appeared on your [elevator music]. Stay as safe as you can. These are bizarre times.
  14. Steve223 - I am very, very, very familiar with the state of mind you are experiencing. There are two factors at work: 1) The symptom of Major Depressive Disorder that causes the sufferer to generate and believe negative things about himself, and 2) Unanswerable questions about the nature of life, purpose, and being - in short, existentialist angst. The second factor is devilishly difficult to manage for a person who thinks a lot about it (I think about it all. the. fricking. time) but more importantly, it tends to reinforce the first factor. Fortunately, the first factor can be managed with the correct medication and, I have found, with Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (your mileage may vary). The key is to train your well mind to become alert to what I call "red words". Let's look at your post and see what your red words are: I feel like I have no value or purpose in the world really. I "work", but it serves no real meaningful purpose in the world, could be done by literally anyone, and is poorly paid. The only people who do the work I do are other people like me who are too dumb to make any progress in life. I really should've never been born. I'm just a burden on my family and society. I really am a complete screw up and an incredibly stupid, worthless person. I have a college degree, on paper. But really it's just that I must've gone to a shitty school where they actually mistook me for someone who has value to the world and isn't a complete moron. I wouldn't kill myself, but I just don't get why stupid people like me are even born. I guess idiotic screw ups like me have some sort of purpose to the world, but I just am having a very hard time seeing it. Sometimes, I have wondered if perhaps I'm just here as an example for other people of what failure looks like, so other people who actually have value to the world can avoid becoming screw ups like me. Or perhaps, there's something else that I'm just not seeing. That's a lot of red. A lotta lot of red. You don't deserve that kind of mental abuse, and no, you don't, because nobody deserves that level of mental abuse. So: Q: Why are you saying these terrible things to yourself? A: Because you're deep in the grip of Depression and very symptomatic. But the thoughts seem real, don't they? True, believable, logical? Of course they do - they're being generated by your own brain, so they seem like your own genuine thought processes that you would normally rely upon... except they're not. Those red words are the result of misfires between the neurons in your brain, the failure of neurotransmitters to successfully pass information from one point to another. The scrambled information that results is what is coming across to you as self-criticism. (This is a simplified analogy, of course, since the science behind it is still poorly understood). The good news is that you can teach yourself to filter out the scrambled bits from the genuine thoughts. When I first realized it could do it, it made a colossal difference. I decided that there was no way I could be as bad as I thought I was, and besides, there was evidence against it; therefore that negative voice saying the bad things was lying. The next time I heard "You're an idiot" I stopped right then and there, before I could let the thought sink in, and said, "You're lying," and mentally threw those words in the garbage. Each time a critical thought came - stupid, ugly, useless - I called the voice a liar and threw the words away. Eventually, I didn't hear them anymore. It's not that they never came, it's just that my filter became so efficient at diverting them into the trash that I just ignore them now. Let's look again at yours. You have a college degree. On paper, you say? Well, where else would it be? I don't think people use a lot of sheepskin anymore. The point is, you were found suitably promising for acceptance into a college, and persevered through a course of study requiring many hours, with enough success to be recognized with a degree in your subject. So, college graduate, that means all the times your brain said you stupid, dumb, moron, and idiotic were invalid - they don't jive with the evidence. They're lies. You succeeded in the difficult task of obtaining a college degree, so that in itself casts serious doubt on the validity of screw up and failure, but you haven't told us what it is you're basing those claims on. It doesn't matter. Everybody screws something up at some point, and everybody fails at some point - that's how we grow. Screw-ups and failures are not a character flaw, they're a process of improvement. Oh, but wait - you're employed. You were found worthy to be hired and your work is successful enough that you hold that job in spite of your condition! Since you obviously don't screw up and fail at everything, and succeed at difficult and important things, neither of those words can logically apply to you. They're lies. This brings us to statements that are based on value as determined by other people: worthless and burden. These are lies from your own head right on their face, because you would have to be a telepath to know whether other people think those things or not. Whether you are of worth to someone else is for them to decide, and feel, not you. You can only accept it, and the degree to which you may be of worth to any given person, or humanity at large, is an imponderable because none of us can ever know the full extent of the effects of our actions. Like the ripple by the shore that becomes a great wave at sea, your small kind deed might change a mood, then a mind, then an action elsewhere that saves a life. And you'll never know your worth. Similarly, you can't assume that you are a burden on people - unless they're having to roll you over on an hourly basis, wipe your behind and change your bedpan because you're unable, get some perspective. People have a tendency to make it clear when someone else is being an unnecessary burden. If you have to guess, you're probably not. Two more words that your brain says that it can't back up. Two more lies. Now. when you say you have no value or purpose in the world and you should never have been born, I have to stop you there. Those statements are irrational. You cannot possibly possess information to substantiate either of those statements in any way - in 50,000 years of human experience, no one has divined the answer to The Meaning Of Life. I suspect that both of these statements on your part are offshoots of the question "Why must I suffer?" and why not? That's just as ancient a question as "Why am I here?" I'm terribly sorry, but there's no Registry where you can go and look up what your personal purpose is meant to be in life (I've checked). It is logical, however, to say that you have a purpose in being here, because it would be illogical for you to have appeared for no purpose. Likewise, you cannot say you should not have been born, because you don't know the reason for your material existence. You were born. You exist. You think, therefore you Are. The voice in your head that tells you you have no value or purpose in the world and should never have been born is therefore talking out its ass. It's all lies. To recap: stupid, dumb, moron, idiotic, screw up, failure, worthless, burden, no value or purpose in the world, should never have been born. Looks like a clean sweep. Though you may notice that I marked one word in bold: The word should. That word is a double-red word. Any time you think it, you must challenge it. Should? Says who? Where is it written that you have to be that certain way? What happens if you're not, or you don't? Should points to an external judgment, an expectation, that is almost certainly not to be taken at face value. Should can help you learn to stop red words before they get inside your consciousness and sink in. Never let a should slip by. You're nothing like what you describe, Steve. I don't have to know you to know that much. I can tell by the lies your depression tells you. You don't have to live this way. If you're not seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist, I urge you to consult with one as soon as you can, and in the meantime, try to learn to stop the self-harming lies from worming their way in. You can do it. I wish you well.
  15. csr - First of all, you must understand that no one on this website is qualified to identify, diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition you may have. For that you will need to consult a qualified medical doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. That said, and from the information you have provided in your post, unless I have misunderstood it sounds as though you are saying that when you see certain people or certain types of people in public, your are unable to refrain from certain behaviors of a sexual nature, and this embarrasses you, your wife and daughter. (Please correct me If I have not understood you properly.) This suggests a mental condition affecting behavior. Two possibilities that come to mind are Tourette’s Syndrome and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It could also be possible that you have some trauma in your deep subconscious from a past event that your mind is struggling to cope with. Any of these matters call for consultation with a specialist, either a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist. From the list of medications you are taking, it sounds as though you already have someone prescribing for you, but if that person is a general MD, you would still be best advised to see a psychiatrist for specialized diagnosis and treatment. If you already have a psychiatrist and that person has not given you a diagnosis, or you feel your treatment is ineffective, it is up to you to communicate that fact to him or her and ask for a change. If you do not receive a satisfactory reply, you may wish to consider switching to a different psychiatrist. In any case, we cannot advise you on altering the dosage of your medication. You must ask your doctor those questions. And if you have not explained to your doctor the problem that you have told us about here, it is important that you do so, without fear or shame, so that you can receive effective treatment. I wish you well.
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