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About Cerberus

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    The Abyssal Inn

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  1. Years ago, someone in my extended family had the notion of making a videotape of my family eating our Christmas dinner. The result was an incredibly tediously boring piece of footage, because it turns out that eating is one of the most uninteresting things humans do. It's little wonder that the act of it is underrepresented in cinema and television except where it's done in some exaggerated, excessive, or grotesque fashion. The only real use for dining in entertainment is as a stage for dialogue, which is ironic in that filling one's mouth is the one thing that gets in the way of talking. So even then, there's really only the suggestion of eating as a pretense for talking without moving around. Really, though, if you want to dive into deep, turbulent waters, it's not how Americans eat that's perplexing so much as what we eat...
  2. That settles it - abomination. A) You would still have to have two of them to hold down your food while you cut it, so what's the point? and B) It raises an entirely new conundrum as to whether the 'k' is silent, thereby causing more problems than it solves.
  3. My pdoc and I have determined that Effexor XR has no longer has any effect on me at the highest possible dose. So now, after more than a decade, I am no longer taking it. I am over two months through withdrawal now and past the worst of it, but nothing else I have ever taken laid a glove on my depression. Wellbutrin and Adderall are the only think keeping my nose above water now, but they've never been enough alone. We're going to wait another three months to clear out the rest of the withdrawal and reassess from there. Why has this happened now? Because everything else is all apocalyps-y out there, why the hell not?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear this. That’s terrible. I’m not sure what all you’ve tried, but some meds work similarly to Effexor if you’ve not tried them before. Something to ask your pdoc about if you want to. Plus there are newbies on the block for AD’s and AAP’s too. I know many of us are treatment resistant here though. I hope you can find something that works just as well if not better. I went through Effexor withdrawals. Awful. I’m glad you are through the worst of it. 

    3. Cerberus


      My pdoc muttered something about maybe pristiq if the insurance will pay for it. The trouble for me is that most ADs target serotonin, and serotonin does not appear to be my problem. None of the SSRIs ever did diddly against my Double D.

    4. Blahblah


      Same here...Serotonin just numbs me out & makes me more anhedonic and tired. I hope they come out with a new antidepressant with more dopamine action. Seems they keep putting out slightly tweaked versions of SSRIs/SNRIs which don't help me much either 😞  I assume you've tried MAOIs with no luck? Vibryd I would try but they don't have it here.

  4. As an American with ambidexterity, I can attest that I give not a second thought to which hand I'm forking with at any given moment. It could be either one, depending on which hand I'm using to do something else. It's on a par with the question of whether one uses the fork with the tines pointing upward or downward as the food enters the mouth (a point that does not arise with spoons). And then there's the whole matter of runcible spoons, and whether they're a brilliant advance of modern progress or an abomination that strikes at the very heart of all that is civil and genteel. Why, incidentally, are we obliged to lump knives, forks and spoons equally under the term "cutlery"? Are not forks more accurately "pokelery", spoons "scooplery"? It seems the case that lumpers trounced splitters and then ran amok at some point in the past. The whole business of table settings, which utensils are expected to bed down with one another on which side of the plate and whatnot, has always struck me as a bit presumptuous and high-handed (as it were), although I suppose there must have been some sense to it all when it was first thought of. Take, for example, the custom of where one ought to place one's utensils at a restaurant to alert the staff that one has finished eating and the plate may be taken away: The utensils should be placed with the handles pointed away from the person at the 10 o'clock position, which is the furthest distance of reach for a right-handed diner. So much for the southpaws. It's always about accommodating the fricking majority, isn't it? [takes a deep breath, counts to ten to avoid going off on a rant about neurotypicals and autism]. Ahem. I think the more engaging question at any given moment is whether one ought more to be inclined to eat peas with a fork or with a spoon. It's a question akin, it seems to me, to asking a bearded man whether he sleeps with the sheet over or under his beard at night. (For the answer to this, observe Captain Haddock in The Adventures of Tintin: The Red Sea Sharks by Hergé.) I'm rambling, or possibly just going straight up doolally, but these are the End Times, so whatever.
  5. Wait. Am I to understand that the green object is wirelessly linked to the device, and the device registers the force exerted upon the object when in use? Rather in the way one might measure the strength of one's grip? So why is it green? The "Learn More" prompt beckoned me, so I had to look it up. Apparently anyone who ever said, "Dealing with incontinence isn't fun and games" has to eat their words, now. Because this is all about incontinence. And "confidence in the bedroom". The link between the two isn't made clear. What is made clear is that this object "is 10,000 times safer than your phone." Well, I daresay... if you try shoving your phone up there you're bound to injure something. This just goes to show that something dubious always happens when technology is applied below the waist.
  6. Broken link addressed in original post; see above.
  7. SugarSugar - I also would suggest holding off on anything written in reply. It's less likely, in my guess, that the written summary encounters are to cover them in case you do something, and more likely that they are created to form the backbone of a cause of termination should they ever get to the point that they're convinced you have to go. Try to figure out in a very practical, nuts-and-bolts sense, how long you have to hold out until you're secure in your retirement, and determine what it will take to get you there in terms of both lifestyle and mental fortitude. Hang in there.
  8. Tsk. Good Heavens. You can’t go around saying things like that in a major English seaport. The next thing you know every time you walk into the pub a hush will fall over the place, and the mutterings that follow will be heard to include something that may be your name, and the phrase “some kind of nelly.” Educate yourself, man. Does this look like a figure to be ridiculed as something less than a masculine tour-de-force? That chin alone would put lesser men in their place. That you would take the name of a literary figure so representative of everything that is praiseworthy in great men and make a joke of the fact that ‘Horatio’ rhymes with ‘fellatio’ suggests a lack of proper appreciation of something-or-other that other men would generally agree upon and probably has an odor of armpit. In fairness, however, it must be pointed out that in Forester’s books, Hornblower’s first wife did refer to him as “Horny”. Actually, the real irony is that it’s Fluent In Silence having a laugh at the expense of Horatio Hornblower - read this description of the character: he belittles his achievements by numerous rationalisations, remembering only his fears. He consistently ignores or is unaware of the admiration in which he is held by his fellow sailors. He regards himself as cowardly, dishonest, and, at times, disloyal—never crediting his ability to persevere, think rapidly, organise, or cut to the heart of a matter. His sense of duty, hard work, and drive to succeed make these imagined negative characteristics undetectable by everyone but him and, being introspective, he obsesses over petty failures to reinforce his poor self-image. His introverted nature continually isolates him from the people around him I wonder, if he were honest, or at least sufficiently objective, how closely that description could be applied to Fluent In Silence? How well would Horatio’s pea jacket fit around your shoulders? And most importantly of all, do you have the chin to pull it off?
  9. To use on the areas that are swollen to reduce the swelling. The areas that are swollen. Reduce the swelling. Oh, I'll bet those areas are swollen, all right. Whenever these advertisers have run their work past my eyes I feel like my intelligence has just been mugged in a back alley.
  10. What? Nobody cares when you say it alone? What rubbish is that? Certainly, fine! I don't mind at all! Go right ahead and continue to entertain the notion that racist inequality is acceptable in the privacy of your own mind, as long as we don't realize you actually think it. No, no - there's no need to finally once-and-for-all eliminate such a word that has absolutely no alternate justifying use from our lexicon. Let's keep it incubating in our heads like a nice, festering abscess.
  11. Unburdened - The negative self-thinking and suicidal ideation you describe is characteristic of advancing stages of depression. It sounds as though your condition may be worsening. If you are seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist, you should certainly call them right away and explain these new symptoms - a change in treatment strategy is likely in order. If you are not currently in the care of a mental health professional, now is the time. You do not have to endure this. There is effective treatment available; it may require some trial-and-error to find the right prescription and/or therapy modality to work best in your case, but help is available, and there is no reason to wait. For the immediate moment, it is important to realize, right off the bat, that the terrible things your mind is telling you about yourself are not true. In fact, they aren't even real thoughts. They are miscommunications produced by misfiring neurons in your brain as a result of chemical imbalance. Think of it this way: You're listening to music you really like on the radio, and the station keeps suddenly unexpectedly shifting to some rude shock-jock talk radio station because it has a loose wire. What you hear isn't your choice, and it isn't about you - it's just unpleasant, disturbing noise caused by a malfunction. That's a crude analogy, of course, and science doesn't fully understand the causes of depression or its specific symptoms yet, but if you keep an understanding of what is actually happening to you in the front of your mind, and not allow yourself to internalize the false thoughts as though they are real, you can begin to develop cognitive skills to resist them. Therapy and the right medication can make that process far easier. It's worth pointing out that alcohol is a depressant - the absolute last thing a person suffering from depression needs is a depressant.
  12. Only the absence of a hyphen prevents me from wondering what you do in a chicken co-op, and whether the chickens are considered voting members. The presence of a hyphen leaves me wondering how you contain the chickens in a coop that has only been started.
  13. You do realize, do you not, that this means you have chosen to become that bane of the Interwebs - a troll. Yet since you'll be trolling these imbeciles, I'm trying to decide whether there is such a thing as a good troll. Is there such a thing as a good Dalek? A good Sith Lord? This is the stuff of deep philosophy...
  14. I assume these are open-top cubicles in a single large open office space. The reality is that masks and social distancing are not going to ensure your safety in such an environment. The mask is intended to keep you from breathing the contagion in, not so much to keep others from expelling it. No mask provides 100% containment of output from nose and mouth; they only reduce the immediate speed of spread, and the time it takes for droplets to travel a given distance in the air. The cubicles, likewise, may contain a certain amount of immediate lateral exposure, but they are an indoor environment and exhaled droplets will ultimately find their way up and over the tops of cubicles just as they would find their way through air ducts in a more enclosed space. If you have already spoken to your colleague about his lack of mask-wearing, it is more likely that if his supervisor or some other authority cracks down on him for not wearing it, he will wonder who it was who complained, remember your conversation, and assume it was you. That is not necessarily a reason no to address the matter at a higher level, but it you may wish to consider the possibility as you decide what to do. Another option might be to approach your supervisor and explain that you are in a high-risk category and believe that the work environment is putting you at increased risk, and explore the possibility of modifying the workflow that brings you into the office such that you could work from home full-time for the duration of the emergency.
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