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About Frolic

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    New Jersey
  1. Just updating to say I've been taking it for a week thus far. So far I've been really tired, but I'm use to that with meds. I've been sleeping anywhere from 10-14 hours a night now, and have woken up with a terribly dry mouth, and the taste of dead stuff (that's the only way I know to describe it). I think that might be starting to go away already though. The first two days I had a constant headache. That went away on the third day, thankfully. I haven't noticed any real change in appetite though, so that's good. Today my nose has been really dried out and bloody. I'm not sure if that's medici
  2. Thanks for all the input. It's at least reassuring that nobody seems to have gotten diabetes. My pdoc told me he was hoping it would help with my anxiety, as that's been the most troubling thing recently. I don't have - and have never had - psychotic symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, things of that nature. I do have some paranoid tendencies, but it's mostly social related, feeling as though people are watching me when I'm in public, judging/thinking poorly of me, talking about me. General mistrust of my friends, feeling as though they are avoiding me, or discluding me, or sometim
  3. Well, I'm trying to do some reading up on Zyprexa, since I'm being put on it. Trying to stay positive. The weight gain has me concerned - at 320lbs I am definitely heavy enough on my own, and I already have hypothyroidism and metabolic issues, as well as digestive issues, and probably undiagnosed BED. But more concerning is the risk of developing insulin-resistance and then diabetes. I have bloodwork done regularly and my bloodsugar levels and all of that have never been an issue thus far. Funnily enough, I'm almost more worried that if I do end up with it, they'll blame me for it and not the
  4. Yeah, I'm going to go. I like asking out of courtesy and such. I just get tired of this sort of thing. They go on and on about how I can't use mental illness as an excuse or crutch, and I have to push myself and try harder and 'grow up'. I get treated as if I'm never allowed to have a bad day/week/few weeks. But then they have this all or nothing attitude and black-and-white approach to everything as well. I just need to take steps back and remind myself that my parents are humans with their own sets of issues too - and the past is better left there. It's just so hard to let go of things
  5. A friend invited me to the upcoming NYC Pride celebration this coming weekend. When I asked my parents (which is actually just a formality since I am 19 and a sign of respect since I am still under their roof) if I could go with her they gave me all kinds of crap about it. They, apparently, think that because I am unable to work due to phobia/anxiety or whatever the hell causes my emotional meltdowns... that this means I can't do anything. Even though I've explained at great length about what happened. Apparently, because "Your mother and I can't be in crowds (when suffering from anxiety)"
  6. Weirdest reaction to medication is actually for a non-psych one. I cannot take Nyquil, Dayquil, or their generics. All of them make me hallucinate something awful. I think I must just be sensitive to it, because I have heard that people will abuse them and take large doses for a high, so who knows. For me, I don't see the appeal, because every time has been terrifying. When I was on a combo of Wellbutrin and Trazadone, I had blurry vision problems, and muscle weakness. That was NOT fun.
  7. I really appreciate the input and advice from everyone. It's given me quite a bit to think about. I would prefer (as I'm sure 99% of people would) to be able to find someway to support myself without government assistance. I am privileged in that I have a roof over my head and food on the table, even if it does come at the cost of dealing with my family. Yeah, my tdoc thinks I haven't failed enough times at working, and so I would immediately be turned down. As far as small goals, I'm going to go to the store with my mother tomorrow. I know the longer I try and shelter myself, the har
  8. Thanks for the suggestions. A little over a year ago, through the suggestion of the counselors at an IOP program I was in, I contacted VR and they basically said anything they could offer me, I would have to pay for out-of-pocket as I am still considered a dependent until I turn 24, regardless of my personal income or living situation, and that my parents' income is too high for the financial end of things (such as testing they wanted done or schooling). When I was still a minor, I had all of my therapy and pdoc appointments through the local clinic, as nobody in my area really deals with
  9. I've been exploring options, and my interests, and things like that... and really... my reaction to working is very similar to like, my reaction to spiders. Actually, I remember when I went to Disney when I was young, around ten years old. At first I was really excited to go on this indoor drop-ride, Tower of Terror. But as we got closer and closer to getting on the ride, I kept getting more and more scared, and eventually I was begging not to go and my parents had me go on anyway, since we'd waited so long. I remember how scared I was that I basically screamed the whole time and clamped my ey
  10. Over the past year, I've worked for maybe a total of...11 and a half weeks or so, divided up into five jobs. Prior to my being in the working world (if you can even call my 11 weeks that) I struggled through school, eventually dropping out and getting my GED, and then attempting college only to not attend classes and drop out after 2 months.I can't take anything I perceive to be criticism, and while from a logical perspective I understand that if nobody tells me how I can improve or anything like that, I'm never going to get better. But even a gentle nudge and a small demonstration can leave m
  11. I never really did get involved on the forums. I'd like to, I just have a lot of issues socializing, I guess. In the past year I've consistently seen my therapist every week. I've been on the same medications for almost a year now, despite my insistence (and the evidence) that they are just plain not helping me. I'm wanting to switch psychiatrists, not just due to medication issues, but because of his wacky suggestions, such as going to college (tried that prior to seeing him, dropped out after two months) or joining the military, and sees my frequent bouts of unemployment as a larger concern
  12. Yeah, he's the best I've had thus far. Nobody else wanted to try more than one medication, and they'd keep me on the same thing for years at a time. So that's encouraging. I'm hoping the Lexapro kicks in soon too, and helps tremendously with the anxiety and depression. Also keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't make me go manic or anything.
  13. As you can see by my signature, I'm on 20mg of Lexapro, 15mg of Abilify, and 150mg of Lamictal, as well as 100mcg of Levoxyl (Levothyroxine Sodium) for my hypothyroidism. I'm feeling rather... unmedicated. Sure, I don't feel like a drugged up mess, which is good. But I feel like my 'normal' self. Very anxious. Prone to bouts of depression. Easily upset. Still having thoughts of hurting myself...Fairly low ambition, mood swings... The only difference I've noticed is less anger and shorter swings. I know medication is only half of the solution, but right now I don't feel like it's cut my
  14. I won't be going behind their back to get tattooed, that's for sure. They would be bound to discover it at some point or another, and I can't exactly afford to move out. It would just be nice if I could change their opinion. It's mostly my father. Yeah, I know I can't expect him to have stayed, but the only recommendations he made were the other two tdocs in the office that accept my insurance, saying they were both good therapists. I ended up choosing the one I could get an appointment with sooner, and I'll still will have gone a bit over a month without seeing one. Could be worse I supp
  15. As if trying to come to terms with my abusive childhood- both at home and in school- isn't enough... I've recently learned that for years during my treatment, my doctors and family have thought I was 'making it all up'. That I 'just needed to grow up'. I understand that some symptoms can be excused by immaturity, but their main argument was always "But you're so smart." My family and school didn't follow through on having my classified (despite recommendations from the school sanctioned psychologist) because I was 'so smart'. I was suppose to have an aide in school due to frequent temper
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