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    neuroscience, gardening, art, poetry, fireworks

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  1. Please come back


  2. Sorry Evil. I hope they figure out what is going on.
  3. Sorry, Electric. Service jobs can be thankless and stressful. I doubt you are bad at your job. Hang in there.
  4. Starting to think about quitting drinking again. Don't know if i will. I just feel that, with each passing year, alcohol is taking an ever greater toll on my body/mind/soul.


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. confused


      Hi bxt. I was ambivalent for a long time. 

    3. bxt227us


      I've cut down and can safely stop now. It feel like it's shrinking my soul over the years.


    4. M@ri


      Glad you've tapered first. :)

  5. Hey. Hope your okay. Been a while.

  6. decreasing rexulti due to jacked up blood test results. Not happy.


  7. Are you okay Ang? You were doing not-great a few days ago.


  8. Sometimes I become enraged by my illness. If I were more depressed, I'd be indifferent. I feel i have a right to hate myself when my depression lifts enough to think/feel/speak. Sometimes, i become consumed by self-hatred and I'd rather slip back in to leaden depression.


    1. DopamineSick


      Holy shit bxt, that describes me exactly! I've never seen somebody else put it into words like that. When my depression is so severe that I can barely sit upright, I don't obsess so much about how shitty my life is because I'm so disabled that I know there's absolutely nothing I can do. 

      But when it gets to moderate-severe levels and I have a bit more energy, I start hating myself with a passion and ruminate about how worthless I am, and comparing myself to other people. Sometimes I also get angry at my condition.

  9. I'm doing not great. I'm struggling with rexulti and the soul-shrinking it causes. I don't have words to describe.

    1. amianthus


      Sounds rough. :( I hope that the soul-shrinking eases soon, or that your doc can take this into account & perhaps adjust to make things more bearable.

    2. KnickNak


      Ugh, I am sorry.. meds can be a rollercoaster.. hoping you feel better soon.

    3. DopamineSick


      What's your dose of Rexulti? I was on 1 mg and just stopped taking it this past week.

  10. "Error code: 5H269/A " Bummer. I'd really like to hang out there for a bit.
  11. Nevermind. I having the exact same problem now. Hopefully see you soon -Dan
  12. 1 = refresh browser. 2 = delete cookies (all browsing history) (idk, it worked for me) are you using Firefox?
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