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About Wistful

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    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

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    Adrift in NYC...
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    DX : Major depression.Possible bp 2. Anxiety (general and social)

    Current Meds: 150 mg Sertraline,30 mg Buspar,Hydroxyzine(rarely take this one as I find it useless)

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  1. Thanks guys for responding.Melissa, what you said about OCD makes sense to me as I did suffer from harm and sexuality doubt OCD when I was much,much younger.Somehow I was able to leave those two forms of OCD behind but the constant replay of every negative encounter I've ever had remains.I feel as if I just have a brain that's wired to hold onto all the bad and quickly release all the good.It feels torturous at times and it absolutely keeps the depression going.At least I'm catching on to how my brain operates,that's got to be a step in the right direction.
  2. While I've always had pms since forever,it has become insanely bad since I've hit 40. I'm 43 now and I dread every period.All of my mental health issues become a nightmare during my pms.Even when I'm doing well with the depression and the anxiety the pms will drag me all the way down again.Every three weeks without fail the onset of pms causes my social anxiety/anxiety to turn into absolute paranoia and the depression leaves me a weepy mess.To make matters worse my cycle is moving closer together so that I get to go through this joy more often.The pms also lasts longer..it used to last me 3 to 4 days but now it goes on for a week or so.I have about one decent week out of the whole month! Evening primrose oil used to help a little but it no longer works at all.Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks.
  3. Hi everyone.I'm wondering if anyone else here ruminates endlessly on every perceived slight,both real and imagined, the way I do.I know that excessive rumination is very closely tied to depression and I'm beginning to realize how much the near constant stream of negative thoughts keeps me from ever truly healing.My depression has been severe at times and the rumination is largely what is feeding it.Over the years I have gotten a bit better at controlling it.I'm able now to sometimes recognize that my depression lies to me,that some of what I feel is a distortion of the truth.However,there are days where I struggle to not replay every painful event in my recent life and sometimes distant past, on an endless loop.Does anyone have any suggestions/advice on how to conquer this sort of thinking? Thanks.
  4. I was recently hospitalized for a fairly severe depression during which I felt suicidal.Thanks to a new cocktail of meds along with a decent therapist(finally!) I feel considerably better.I no longer feel suicidal but I am still struggling a bit to stay afloat.I'm not ready at this point to go to work but too much free time is never good for my depression.I'm a ruminator who often gets lost in my own negative thoughts if I don't keep busy.I could use some ideas on how best to structure my day to avoid falling back into severe depression.For those of you who are currently not working,how do you keep busy and avoid falling back into the abyss? If you are working and have any ideas please feel free to share also.Thanks!
  5. That I finally,finally have a therapist that's helping me.I'm so grateful for this!!
  6. 1. That the lamictal seems to be helping (annoying side effects and all).
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