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  1. yeah, there are some really benzophobic doctors out there and i feel like the anti-benzodiazepine movement within psychiatry is only growing as time passes when there are truly some of us who need and rely on benzodiazepines. i'm glad that you get decent coverage with your HMO being disabled and all.
  2. are you able to change insurance carriers? because you have a shitty hmo. OR can you get your psychiatrist to write you two scripts - one that your HMO will pay for and another that you'll pay for out-of-pocket with the latter being the benzodiazepine?
  3. my employer doesn't check at all. i mean, i work a highly-skilled white-collar job, so i don't think that there's much policing of drug use unless it's visibly apparent or something. anyhow, marijuana in gummy bear form puts me to sleep and kinda helps with anxiety, but if i smoke it, BAM! paranoia central + panic attacks. i guess that has to do with the amount ingested? anyhow, i don't use it because i don't find it very pleasant ingested or smoked.
  4. i think i might try 15mg of trintellix and 40mg of cymbalta (instead of the 30mg i was on previously with 15mg of trintellix) because 20mg of trintellix is just way too difficult for me to take. the side effects way outweigh the benefits.
  5. so i decided to go up to 20mg off trintellix last night and drop the last 30mg of cymbalta and i wouldn't have done this if i had not been having pretty severe breakthrough anxiety several hours between my klonopin/lyrica doses. it's a gamble, but yeah, i can go back to 15mg and resume taking 30mg of cymbalta even though that's funky and i was having that terrible breakthrough anxiety which is, as you know, a pretty severe setback for a panic disorder sufferer. this isn't directly related to cymbalta/trintellix, but rather dropping ambien which was playing a dual role as an anxiolytic and a sedative hypnotic. i've lost that anxiolysis, however, i've also lost the sexual dysfunction associated with ambien which was far more that i had thought. i'm hoping this works! thanks so much for all of your help during this transition @CrazyRedhead!
  6. okay, @CrazyRedheadI need advice and you're just the one to give it because you're on 20mg of trintellix. so since discontinuing ambien i have had some normalization of sexual functioning which has been fantastic for me in general - the question my doctor has is whether the increase to 15mg from 10mg of trintellix had something to do with it as well as both changes occurred around the same time. so, he has proposed two options: continue with the cross-taper and see what happens knowing that the sexual sides may increase on the full 20mg of trintellix or hold everything steady and perhaps wind up on two antidepressants (15mg of trintellix and 30mg of cymbalta) and never know if things would improve even further. i don't know what to do!
  7. thanks, @CrazyRedhead. yes, the next step of the cross-taper is to raise trintellix to 20mg and drop cymbalta. thanks for the encouraging words. i had an appointment this past week with my psychiatrist who said that he will monitor me closely and if things don't improve over the next few weeks to a month then he will attack the problem from a novel method but didn't mention which or what he was leaning toward. my guess is that he doesn't quite know yet. my next appointment is in three weeks because of the suicidal ideation that i've been having due to the life-impairing side effects. anyhow, for now i'll just continue with the cross-taper as i'm due to be off of cymbalta completely by tuesday evening of this week. so far i'm doing okay without ambien...
  8. as an update, i'm now on 15mg of trintellix and 30mg of cymbalta and nearly done with the cross-taper. i'm also trying to drop the 10mg of ambien for the sake of simplicity if i am able to without my anxiety spiking a ton and creating problems. tonight is the first night going without the 5mg that i had gotten myself down to and thus i'm posting at 1:15am. other than my appetite normalizing, there have to-date been no other benefits. i suppose one could say that's a very large benefit and it is, but i've otherwise been really quite disappointed in trintellix as it feels like any other ssri to me. i could be cross-tapering onto paxil for all it feels like. still sexually dysfunctional, still depressed, but i now weigh 137 lbs.
  9. i mean, i think, @Cerberus, that it's a given that those on the spectrum, along those with personality disorders and those with severe forms of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are not by any means approaching normalcy in any social manner; really, in manner at a all. i never at all said, however, that i wanted opinions of those who are normal, as no one on this site suffering from any form of mental illness is 'normal'. we are all suffering, but some are so far from those who are not affected by mental illnesses and part of the norm amongst the general population that their input, while valuable to those, i'm sure, within their own respective communities, isn't of any value to me as what am i going to find of value in an autist stating that he/she doesn't understand the value of human interaction? absolutely nothing to an anxiety sufferer taking a benzodiazepine and an ssri. i've been a member of this forum for nearly a decade, but i haven't posted much because while i do have severe variants of my respective disorders which lie along the depressive and anxiety spectrum, i have found a home on sites dedicated to generalized anxiety disorder as well as panic disorder with agoraphobia rather than here and even then, i don't visit those sites often because my life here and there goes to hell, however, generally over the course of the years, it's been closer to the norm than what i've seen here. i just thought i'd pop on over, but clearly the members of this site are far too different from me and far more affected by mental illness in daily life as demonstrated by this thread in which there are far too many autistic individuals or those with personality disorders or those who suffer from disorders involving psychosis, and i can't forget those with personality disorders that it's clear i'm not at home here and my place is on forums dedicated to those aforementioned and dedicated to anxiety and depressive disorders. i hope that you all do get the treatment that you deserve in order to live fulfilling lives, because it's sounds like it's needed.
  10. i mean, i didn't want to be exclusive by stating that people on the spectrum weren't really necessary within this thread, but i should have been more clear as to who i wanted feedback and opinions from. as for the 'no offense but' usage, it was clearly used in sarcastic response to the poster who used it invariably to offend in the post above. again, i really should have made the post stating, 'for those who are suffer from depressive and anxiety disorders...' but i didn't, because again, inclusion. and for the poster who asked where the normal people are on crazyboards - they aren't here, they're living their lives without mental illness proving to be a great hurdle in the way of major life goals. note that normal was placed in quotations and it was placed in quotations for a reason. you interpret that as you wish. that's all i have to say about that.
  11. thanks so much, ladies! i was expecting to crash and burn after dropping remeron but i didn't experience any of the withdrawal symptoms that i have experienced in the past trying to get off the drug. trintellix didn't make me nauseated either, which i was worried about. at least it hasn't yet. and the switch back to ambien went very well. my appetite today was below normal, which was a welcomed change. i'm within reach of my goal weight as i'm 140 lbs right now and i should be around 135ish, so i don't have much more to go and it seems that this combo will assist greatly. i'm hoping to perhaps end up on 15mg of trintellix, although i'm not sure how to do that yet, but my mind is constantly working on trying to figure out a solution. my doctor wants me maxed out on 20mg, but i feel like the side effect profile will be more pronounced at that dosage. we'll see.
  12. i began trintellix last night, @CrazyRedhead and @Iceberg! i thought it was best to do so given the side effects that I was experiencing, the amount of depression that was burdening me, and my desire to better my quality of life. i did take a chance and dropped remeron at the same time, which in the past has been very disastrous, but as of right now, some 10 hours later, i am feeling relatively fine - the same as one would expect to feel when switching from an snri to an ssri and nothing more. no brain zaps to speak of as of yet and i probably won't experience them because i'm going from an snri to an ssri. my anxiety levels are elevated but manageable. i also switched back to ambien because i prefer that drug more than sonata or lunesta and am taking 10mg currently, but my doctor said to increase back to 15mg as necessary should anxiety levels become uncomfortable to try to counter those. anyway, wish me luck as i really hope that things change for the better. i'm a bit concerned that my end goal dose of trintellix will be 20mg/day, which is the max as i'm on the max dose of cymbalta, and only because i would imagine that on any high dose of any medication the side effect profile is generally going to be more pronounced.
  13. i mean, no offense, but i wouldn't expect someone on the spectrum to even be commenting on this thread let alone understanding what "normal" people wish or don't wish for. you should take a step back and be respectful of the desires of others, whatever those may be, as clearly there are differences between us and you are coming off as both offensive and bitter.
  14. i, contrarily, would rather have companionship. that's a deeply personal preference, however, i would argue that most of the world's population, if given the opportunity between the two, solitude and companionship, would choose companionship.
  15. oh, well, in that i wholeheartedly agree with you in theory, although in my experience and depending on the severity of the mental illness, how it presents itself, the treatment and the treatment's side effects, i have found that it's significantly more difficult.
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