JesterJay

Hi! So I guess I'll just post what's relevant to this forum for now, and I apologize in advance for any long-windedness. I just turned eighteen yesterday, and "crazy" has pretty much always been a part of my life. My dad has Crohn's disease which rendered his bipolar medication near useless, so it turned into schizo-effective disorder. My mom may or may not have a history of mental issues, but it doesn't matter because they don't believe in mental disorders in the first place. They are, however, highly susceptible to addiction. Mostly alcohol. Mom is a (hopefully recovering) alcoholic, also addicted to pain meds. Grandma is getting older and takes Ativan as she needs it. My sister just recently started therapy, and it turns out we have a lot of the same issues, or at least major depression on both our parts. So yeah. "Crazy" seems to be a family trait. My crazy started when I was in middle school, but it didn't get bad until this past April; I had to withdraw from my college because of my depression, then was hospitalized because I'd been making passive suicide attempts, at which point it was decided that depression wasn't my biggest issue so much as severe generalized anxiety (which may or may not have recently materialized into panic attacks. I'm not sure). I also have a social phobia, but we haven't addressed that in therapy yet. =/ Sorry if this is too long for the intro forum. My dad spent my birthday in the ER, and I'm having some major anxiety issues right now.

As Maybell said, it's not very well researched. When I first found out about it, I was actually really relieved to know that it was actually a thing, and not just a stupid habit. It is sort of upsetting, though, that so few know about it.

When you guys talk about how many scabs you have, like, how big are they? Because I honestly wouldn't be able to count all of mine for how many there are, but at the same time they're all really little, like the size of a big pinhead or in the shape of my fingernails. Also does anyone know how sever the picking has to be to be considered CSP? Because I feel like that's what my problem is, but it's only a self-diagnosis, I haven't mentioned it to anybody yet, and I feel like my picking isn't that severe compared to others I've read about. Then again, I do have issues with validating my thoughts and feelings.