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  1. ...inconvenience. i don't have words strong enough to express how much more than an inconvenience this is.
  2. Chat seems to be up and running Going to kill the temporary chat
  3. http://www.e-chat.co/room/183040 ^ i just created this come join!
  4. Hey y'all...I was wondering, have you experienced any positives because you have bipolar disorder? Do you think that having BP has helped you at all? This thread isn't about lamenting. I want to know if you can attribute ANY positive thing to having BP. For me, it made me a stronger person. I'm strong and independent, but I still know when i need to ask for help. I can't imagine not being BP.
  5. I'm out - and cycling - and at one point today, ideating.

  6. Just in case you don't get my message in chat, I am going inpatient tomorrow morning.

  7. I've had issues with brain fog from meds, but it usually goes away over time. It happens. If it's a major problem for more than a few months, then considering different meds might be a good idea; however, your unrelated question may not be unrelated at all. There's no way to know if these symptoms will get better on their own unless you stay on your meds long enough to find out. Starting and stopping meds that mess with your brain chemisty so often can't be good for it...So, there's a good chance that you're doing this to yourself by not consistently taking your meds. No one wants to be on meds. It fucking sucks, but in our case it tends to suck less than the possibility of more severe and/or more frequent episodes. So, perhaps considering the possibility that your noncompliance is causing your memory issues would help your adherence?
  8. Adderall has been the only med that has helped with my depression, so it doesn't sound weird to me. I can't find the source, but it used to be a common antidepressant. However, it might be a good idea for you to talk to your doc about when you take the adderall if you keep having problems sleeping...
  9. I've never become manic after taking an antidepressant, but I always have a bad mixed episode if my mood stabilizer isn't working well enough when I start an AD. The onset of the mixed episode varies with the type of antidepressant combined with the deficent of mood stabilizer. Sometimes I know within one or two doses that I can't take the AD and other timess it takes up to two weeks, but never more than that. My advice would be to give the AD a shot, but to carefully monitor yourself and enlist the help of those around you to monitor you as well.
  10. Bubble, you put into words what I've never been able to. The realization that I could kill myself was like a light switch turning on, and I've only been able to dim the light since I was 7 or 8; never fully turning it off. The only reasons I've stayed have been for other people and my pets. I measure my mood by how dependent I am on the feelings of others to keep thoughts at bay. I can't really remember the last time I spent an entire day enjoying life for myself. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the people confident enough to live for themselves are the strange ones... Hell, I’ve started thinking that if I ever feel like I actually want to live and have a future that it would be the perfect moment to kill myself. I’ve somehow worked it out that it’s the only way I can win, even though my more rational side says that you can’t win or lose at life, because your life can’t be compared to anyone else’s. Winning or losing would require a fair competition or comparison, but we’re too unique for that to ever be possible.
  11. check out the percentage of people who said yes to #1: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/are-you-exceptionally-gross#.vhj1jn8V5 and check out the first two here, especially because this version has the actual number of people who have responded http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/how-disgusting-are-you-compared-to-everyone-else#.uikGL9zWK
  12. I think I'd basically have to jailbreak my computer for this to work. I downloaded the correct one, but my mac still won't let me run the program because it's from "an unidentified developer"
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