Unstrung Harp

18,875 words and 60 pages in this chapter. The chapter is basically written. I am rewriting it/reorganizing it/ bringing more theoretical discussion to it. Hope to finish in the next day or two, but it has been painful. I am feeling bbetter, thanks.

Both of my hospitalizations have been in summer. I perceive myself as hating the winter and getting depressed, but I guess it really goes south for me in the summer.

I'm reading cultural theory for my dissertation while still fighting off a stomach virus, so I'm feeling both fairly dreadful and very responsible. I'm weak and have barely eaten in two days, have lost like three pounds, but I also have some ideas for my chapter/other chapters.

Menopause symptoms and yellow fever are often confused, so you should be careful.

On the couch all day with nausea, achiness, fatigue, maybe fever. Google says I might have yellow fever, but I’m guessing not.

Stomach virus. Feel yucky, and wish the dog would bring me tea.

Social anxiety. Too many people today.

Tired. it's Election Day, and I was up early and have been working the polls on and off since 6:30am. And a sweet little dog trotted into our polling place off leash, and I went home and got our leash and took her home with me and put out the word on Facebook, and was able to find her people. So overall an exciting but exhausting day. Back to the polls again in 20 minutes, then an hour off, then back for an hour. We are endeavoring to end literally 150 years of one-party rule of my county, so I'm happy to be involved in that effort.

Anxious again. And feeling regretful, but I don’t know if that’s misplaced.

here too. Scary storms last night, 30 degrees cooler today.

lithium gave me a really noticeable tremor.

Cats and dogs out there, with a passing tornado warning.

Agitated. Half an hour after falling asleep there was a tornado warning that came through on our phones, and then after that I watched tv and binged popcorn and now I’m wide awake.

I bought myself a 36-spice rack and organized what I call "spice hell" that was on top of and beside my microwave. So now I can find my spices and they won't fall on my head when I open the microwave door.

It also helped tremendously with my depression, within a week, but has really dialed up my anxiety.