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Unstrung Harp

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About Unstrung Harp

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    Now with 30% less sodium.

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  1. We miss you. Sorry you got whammied by this. I hope it all passes soon.
  2. I definitely think living with depression or other serious MI is traumatic, especially if you've experienced thoughts or actions of self harm, or hospitalizations. I can separate who I am from my MI, in that I know that I am more than my MI, but I have a hard time separating my history and things that I have struggled with in the past or continue to struggle with from myself, because here I am living with all of those entrenched bad feelings and their consequences for years of my life. There's also the trauma even when relatively healthy of wondering when will it come back, will I be able to fight it off this time, etc. When I'm feeling my best I can internalize the idea that I have survived these things, and therefore I am strong, but it's difficult to hold onto that idea when symptomatic and I feel like contemptible mush.
  3. Not my pupper, but still adorable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrAm5YVvXx8&fbclid=IwAR0P3zOQnpIKIFfZFL1K0Hkh4RJ8WaJGqHR_T--rVrdv80vopcUGs5D0Yds
  4. I can definitely relate to what you’re saying, and though it gets worse when I’m depressed I think for me it is largely a symptom of social anxiety disorder. It happens to me even when I am not especially depressed. I go out and end up questioning everything I’ve said and whether the people I was with really dislike me, beating myself up, etc. When I’m depressed, though, it can be especially brutal self talk like you mention. I’m sorry you’re going through that. You mention an anxiety disorder, but has social anxiety in particular come up as a possibility?
  5. I think I might have akathisia from the new med. can’t get comfortable.
  6. I hear what you’re saying about wanting to stay informed. That is something I’ve struggled with especially over the past four years, how to balance that with my mental health. I can see how news at night can be activating when you’re trying to wind down, as opposed to early in the morning or at lunch. But it is hard sometimes to replace something that’s part of your routine.
  7. I find that watching news as opposed to reading it is especially bad when I’m feeling anxious or fragile, with all the physical stimulation of the chyrons and the chatter and their tone of voice. When I’m in overload I try, usually unsuccessfully, to avoid even reading the news, but a lot of that is tied into avoiding Facebook for me because I follow a lot of news outlets there. Also, the world, particularly here, is a dumpster fire right now so I find it hard not to get amped up from the news these days. Sorry that was long.
  8. The day after my second dose and I feel not sedated exactly, but wooly in the head. It hasn't knocked me out either night, and I've actually had insomnia. It's only 20mg, so hopefully I will adjust and we'll be able to up the dosage to the twice a day that seems to be indicated.
  9. Thanks, Cheese. I took it last night with dinner and wasn’t excessively sleepy today, just dragging, but I slept on the couch last night because my husband announced he felt like he was getting sick so I skittered away (he seems better today, though I don’t feel so great, which hopefully is the geodon). I did discover online a potential serious interaction with my tamoxifen that I have to discuss with pdoc, so maybe I’ll have to stop taking it. That’s interesting. Different doses or med combos? I’m disappointed both that I don’t get the cool geodon swag and that my Pdoc never discusses David Bowie with me. Though he seems more Steely Dan.
  10. ugh. that's disheartening. I don't really know what else we would replace the Vraylar with, and lamotrigine is not, I believe, generally used as a mono-therapy.
  11. Maybe not. Abilify knocked me out, but I gather that is not the norm.
  12. yikes. I told Pdoc I don't mind that much if it sedates me after I take it at dinner, because I don't feel very invested in being awake right now, but daytime sleepiness and random fits of sleep would be a problem. thanks for your input.
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