Unstrung Harp

I've been really achy for four days.

I’m doing okay with the social distancing on one level. Since I spend most days isolated until my family comes home anyway, it’s nice to have them around. I’m increasingly paranoid about the larger picture of social distancing though, and getting really wrapped up in thoughts that any contact with anyone, say if my husband goes to the grocery store, will make us all terribly sick. So I’m afraid to leave the house, or let him leave the house and go anywhere where there are people.

Overloaded. Still not feeling well.

Feeling physically unwell today, which is stressing me out. Afraid to go to sleep and possibly wake up feeling worse.

I switched back to Klonopin from alprazolam a few months ago because my anxiety was out of control and I was looking for the longer half life, and Pdoc agreed to prescribe for three times a day at .5mg (I respond to a pretty low dose luckily, and have mostly not habituated). I will say that I took a full 1 mg. last night because my anxiety was through the roof (though I hadn't taken any earlier), and I think that it carried over through a lot of today. I'll probably do the same thing tonight. I agree, I don't know that there's really a model for how to dose anxiety during a pandemic, and especially if you tend towards mania/mixed in the Spring. It seems like something more long acting or slightly more frequently as approved by Pdoc might not be a terrible idea.

Can’t get it together today. Just really sad and tired.

My power just went out for 30 seconds, and now I’m really on edge that that is going to be a thing too.

I think it's called "stone." if you have a pet, what color is it?

Sometimes. Not every day. what is the one snack item you most tend to crave?

What a wonderful time to be alive for someone with an anxiety disorder.

Emotionally and physically rundown.

Me too.

Just had I think the worst panic attack of my life. Couldn't get the hyperventilating under control for 10 minutes. Almost called 911, but husband talked me down. Shittastic day.

So done today.

Yes. I played piano for a long time, then flute, then violin briefly. would you like to go on a space mission?