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Critchmatic

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  1. I take lamictal (300mg), wellbutrin (300mg xl), and suboxone for my opiate dependence. I had started suboxone in January for my abuse of opiates. At that time, my doctor also uped my dosage of lamictal from 100 to 200. I somehow stopped drinking on January 23rd and am still doing that as of today. I felt as good as I had in a long time. For about 2 months I was who I knew I needed to be. Then a chain reaction of crap happened. From meeting the devilish girfriend, to getting addicted to xanax again, to breaking my wrist and being prescribed roxycotin. After my pain killers were gone I went back to xanax. But I was still unmotivated, and just felt down. I broke up with my girlfriend (thank god), and moved into a new place with good people. I still didnt have that oomph in my step ive needed. About a month ago I started wellbutrin. So far I know that its helping me. But my suboxone doctor will not call a prescription, or sign a prescription fax by my pharamcist. Therefore I took my laugh 4mg 2 days ago. Yesterday I was suboxonless, and today I could really see effects of withdrawal. But they arent as extreme as I would expect after being on suboxone and trying to quit the heroin addiction a couple years back. Do you think the wellbutrin is kind of fighting with the withdrawal symptoms and keeping my partially mentally affloat? Or do you think the worst is still ahead. Thanks everyone, CMatic
  2. Wow. That is what I wanted to hear in a nutshell. I appreciate the time you took to help me.
  3. I am now on day 10 of my wellbutrin at 150mgx2. On day 5 i saw something different about myself. I was able to get out of bed, get stuff done during the day, and just keep myself busy. That lasted a couple of days. Yesterday, day 9, I didnt feel well. I was very, blah. Its hard to explain, but I wasnt able to sleep much last night either. Today I started kinda, blah. My emotions are almost monotone. Will this change? Is my body just getting used to the medicine? I'm staying positive because I know that these meds take effect long term. I just cant understand why a medicine will show effects of happyness, and then the next day, you arent even close. I just hope that this med isnt bringing mania. So far i definitely see an improvement of my concentration, I do still get up out of bed in the morning. I just feel, blah.
  4. I mean I dont necessarily let people know im bipolar right off of the bat. But when I feel comfortable with the person, whether a friend or a romantic quest. I figure if the relationship is supposed to be, the other person will dismiss it. I have not had too many problems about telling people. Usually they start to notice it anyway. I'm bipolar dude.
  5. The passed 7 months or so, since I've stopped drinking, I've really been non social. For some reason I just dont like being with other people. Im self conscious beyond belief. Ill get into good shape, and then blow it. I really need to figure out my personal life, I want to have more friends, maybe meet a girl. I'm not a bad looking dude at all, I just prefer being alone most of the time. I need to figure out how to change this. I used to be a social butterfly. I knew people all around the city, state and country. I could have run for class president of high school and college (if I was a better student.). Is this part of being bipolar 2? I'm on 200mg of lamictal, 300 mg of wellbutrin, and 4mg of suboxone daily. Tell me this will change. I dont have the social anxiety of going to the store anymore. But I still get kind of awkward in social settings.
  6. I'm sorry all. I had a lot to get off my chest, and I was excited being the new dude in town. I feel really good today, I know its only the first week of wellbutrin, but at 150mg I can tell a difference. Libido is wayyyy up, to a point it hasnt been in years. I have a positive mindset, my anxiety is no where to be found. I hope it continues. We will all have our ups and downs, and I remind myself that all downs are followed by ups. I thank all of you for being here. This is something that is really going to help my mental health.
  7. Thank you guys for support. I did have a bit tougher time falling asleep last night, but overall i feel good today. I can tell my Libido is ski high, where it hasnt been in years, I feel good, and I am able to stay positive. My anxiety was so bad the last couple of days, that I debated stopping, but I know that these meds can help. I'm going to have down days too, but for the first week...ill take it.
  8. Thanks you guys, this is a battle. I'm really happy I found this forum.
  9. I really forced my doctors hand with the diagnosis. I think 10 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression, it was because I didnt want to admit to myself I was bipolar. It was just so extreme. But Lexapro was not the answer. Once I saw I wasnt going to be helped without guidance, its once I really started to take this mental disability seriously. I'm trying to take it head on, I just dont know if im in hypomania right now or not? I dont know if this is how im supposed to feel. I dont really remember what im supposed to feel like. I've been medicated with Lamictal for 6 months at 200mg, now I am on Wellbutrin, 150x2 daily, and suboxone 4mg. Last week I didnt want to get out of bed, I'm on the 5th day of Wellbutrin and I've surpassed that. I've actually had enough energy to go for extensive hikes in the passed couple days. Is this a sign that the Wellbutrin is going to be the answer for my depression? God I hope so. I just hope it happens soon. I dont have insurance at the moment or money to see the doctor. I dont know how I'm going to have this whole medication thing monitored. Is it too early to see if the wellbutrin will have an effect? I'm almost more anxious to see the outcome, but I look at it as my last chance. I need this to work. I have been alcohol free since January, and any type of narcotic (outside of suboxone), since mid-late May.
  10. Update: I forgot to add a couple of things. The last couple years have been very long for me. Everything from bad luck to bad decisions. However, right now I do have a job, I have great roommates, and good support system. The icing on the cake would be for wellbutrin to help with my bouts of sadness.
  11. Hi all- I am new to this group, and I thank all of you for welcoming me. After checking out a couple other forums, and even signing up for one, the first thoughts about this site are sky high! I felt like I was being bullied and judged by people that were in the same boat is me. I am a 26 year old male, who was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder in 2009. At the time I was put on Lamictal 100mg, and Xanax 2mg daily. I could tell the lamictal was working over the months, but my addiction to xanax was getting in the way of any success I could have helping my condition. In 2010, I changed Doctors (insurance reasons), and my doctor changed my meds to Topamax. At first it really sped me up, I did not see a change in mania. I was also still dealing with an addiction to benzos, this time being prescribed klonopin. I was struggling. Relationships with all people, especially my family. But the worst part of it was my impulsive ways left me with no friends. Stealing and lieing really distanced me from people, and the excuse of being treated ran out of gas. I then moved to Atlanta, where I had lived as a younger guy because I knew that I had friends there who had been diagnosed with similar illnesses. When I got down there it was "so long topomax, gimme the xanax". I was taking upwards of 6mg daily. On top of that, I started messing with the contins. Oxy and his sister Roxy. Of course money was thin from all the drugs, and it was time for heroin. I was shooting up daily, and obviously in a pit. I moved back to Michigan to live with this girl Sarah. I was in hell. I was withdrawling from opiates when I wasnt taking them, and I was popping xanax like it was going out of style. 5 months of this and my closest people to me in my life were moving. My parents. Denver it was, and I was sad. Of course me not being medicated, sent me into a depression and mania. Thus increased the intake of opiates and benzos and I was screwed. I met and scammed a doctor, and he prescribed 120 1mg xanax a month, 120 10mg norcos, and lamictal. How would any lamictal work while being so F-ed Up? It didnt. I made the decision to move to Colorado. For the first month I was there I was so screwed up I dont remember 20 straight days of skiing. I met a local addict who was seeing an addiction specialist. I knew that I had to shape up, and I made an appointment with this guy. He specialized in addiction to sleep disorders. He drug tests every visit, and if you mess up you lose your meds. First thing he did was up my lamictal to 200mg, and he prescribed me to suboxone for my opiate addiction. That was January 13th. I havent had a drink since January 23rd. I remember the middle of March, me looking at my dad while skiing and telling him I was finally happy. The girl I was dating at the time, and I decided to move in together. What a disaster! I was able to get my hands on some xanax because she caused such back anxiety and I just wanted to be tuned out. We worked together, and one night she got so upset with a boss at work, she quit and told me I had to or I was out of the house! My dumbass did it, I think the xanax was a big contributor. At the time That was the beginning of March and thats the night I lost ALL FEELINGS FOR HER! I was in decent shape from all the skiing and the thin air, but that wouldnt last. I fell into a deep depression. On May 8th she wanted to get away, I think she was sensing me leaving her because I couldnt stand her, and she wanted to spoil me. We went up to Jackson Hole, and I crashed on my bike and broke my wrist, fractured my elbow, stitches in my chin and crazy trail rash! At the time I was on suboxone and popping mass amount of benzos. My on again and off again thing. The doctor prescribed me oxycodone for a month. It didnt do much because of the suboxone. Late May I was finally able to get another job although I had a broken wrist. I was taking my suboxone and lamictal, and withdrawling from xanax. A couple weeks later the withdrawals stopped but I was depressed as all hell. I lost my job. I lost my insurance, and I lost my doctor. I had a bunch of presriptions thank god, that he had written. But my depression was so deep I needed something new. He had written me a srcipt for wellbutrin, that I never took. I started the other day, without doctor supervision. I dont have the money, and the meds are pricey. I'm taking 150mg, twice a day, as prescribed. But I dont know what to expect. I am on day 5, feel a tad bit different. I'm able to get up in the morning and go hike and stuff, but I still get bouts of depression. I hope it passes, this seems like its my last chance. I do get about 6-8 hours of sleep, which is better than most I see on wellbutrin. But I guess I just want assurance that its going to get better. I am taking 150mg twice daily, along with lamictal 200mg, and suboxone 4mg. Can anyone give me assurances. This forum seems like a blessing. I have been alcohol free since January 23rd, and just about 2 months without xanax. JC
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