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Everything posted by de235388

  1. Ok, so for those of you who have wondered what happened to me for the last couple of years. I want to apologize, I have been afraid and embarrassed to post. But here is what happened, I was off medication and life seemed OK for like 6 months when I had a really bad episode, that ended in the police taking me to the hospital, a lot of bad things happened that hurt the ones I love. So long story short, while I do believe that God can do absolutely anything. I also believe medication was invented for a reason and I thank God for my meds and thank God that I now go to a church that doesnt make me feel bad for taking them. I should've taken my meds at the 1st sign of psychosis and I should've updated you all sooner.
  2. Galations 5:22 "but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, LONGSUFFERING, gentleness, goodness, faith" I believe mental illness has made me more spiritual and brought me closer to God than I have ever been. What the devil meant for evil, God meant for good.
  3. Im.sorry about the rant and I truely hope you stay well whether that means your "cured" or that you start taking meds again.
  4. I am not saying that everyone should drop their pschiatrists and meds, I am just saying that whether you all want to believe or not God does perform miracles
  5. Does that mean if my meds are not working then God has abandoned me?
  6. Listen, I mean no harm with my post, I like I said I do not disagre wit the notion that all healing comes from God, including meds that work, I just wanted to share my story because I truely believe God has healed me.
  7. I just feel like God has blessed me and I must share my story. After hearing voices for several months and having no idea what was going on, I checked myself into a mental health hospital in October 2011, I was later diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I tried several different medications before finding the right one: abilify. I would go to church and everytime they asked for a testimony , I would thank God for taking the voices away. My pastor then said see ,you don't have to go to the doctor or take medication, God can heal you. I thought,well I do go to the doctor and I do take meds, so I talked to him after church. He said " I believe you can stop taking your medication. We are going to fast for 7 days and I believe God will heal you with this fast. Do you belive God can heal you? I said "yes but will he, I don't know if I have enough faith".This is not the 1st time we had this conversation, I had fasted with the church for 3 days, taking my meds each day and praying. He said you have already done what the bible says to do James 5:14 "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord." This had happened several months ago. So I said ok" I will fast for 7 days, do you think I should stop taking my medication now or after the fast" he said "Now". So I did it, I took a leap of faith fasted and stopped taking my medication. Now I want to be clear here, many of my family members were against this and said all healing comes from God, if your medication was working that is a blessing from God and I don't want to say that I disagree with that statement, but I want you all to know that God does still perform miracles and heal people it is not just something that happened in the bible days. I don't want you all to think that this journey has been perfect, 2 days into the fast I started hearing voices again, they were mild, but I freaked out and started to lose faith, I went to church that night and told the pastor that I was hearing voices. He said we are going to come against that right now, he prayed over me and I feel out in the holy spirit. The pastor said "even after you feel down, I felt this electricity come out of you, I believe you are healed, the devil may try to mess with you here and there but if you start hearing voices just say I am healed in Jesus name until it goes away and he gave me some scriptures about being healed. I prayed to God and asked him "Am I really healded,and in my heart I felt him say "yes it is done", I know what you are thinkng but this was different from any psychosis I have ever had, God gave me a sense of assurance. Every couple of days for the next 2 weeks I would hear voices, still very mild and since I was still experience side effects from my meds, I thought well maybe my meds are still in my system and that is the only reason I don't hear voices everyday, so I started googling how long it takes abilify to get out of your system and the general consensus was 21 days. I started to pray in tongues whenever I heard voices and they would go away instantly, this happened twice and then I stopped hearing voices completely. It has almost been 2 weeks since the last time I heard voices and it has been 26 days since the last time I took meds, I know it is still early but this is the longest I have gone without hearing voices without meds. I just want you all to know that it is possible. God can heal you, even if your faith is not completely unwavering, you must need to have faith the size of a mustard seed.
  8. Ok after reading this it sounds obvious, you go to bed early, you wake up early, but the waking up every 2 hours is annoying and somethings it is hard to fall back asleep
  9. I started taking abilify about a month ago and so far I am impressed, no more voices! However I start to dose off at about 7pm (which has become the norm for me as I did this on fanapt and latuda the 2 previous meds I have taken) but then I wake up every 2 hours and sometimes at about 2 am, I can't fall back asleep. I am not tired at all during the day though. Has anyone experienced the same thing, does this side effect go away over time?
  10. I was on fanapt for about I month and a half, it made me hav e some mouth movements (my mouth would just open up and stay open, couldn't keep it closed fo long).I also had restles legs and arms and would tremble sometimes and sometimes get blurry vision.I would still hear voices twice a week for about 2 days at a time, but they were always mild to moderate. No weight gain though. I am on abilify for 2 weeks and so far no voices. Thank God! Hope fanapt works for you
  11. Before I got put on medication, I believed that I was psychic and could hear peoples thoughts or what they said about me when I wasn't around and they don't talk to me, they talk to each other. Does that count as thought insertion?The voices would say that people had put cameras up in my aparment and they were listening to my phone calls. I had other delusions that I am too embarrassed to admit. Either way if it is hearing voices or thought insertion, is it a symptom of schizophrenia and treated the same way?
  12. Firebird I have never heard of the term thought insertion. My pdoc would just say i hear voice in my head I am going to look into it b/c from what you decribed my issue is thought insertion and not hearing voices. Is the only difference b/t the two that thought insertion is in your head and hearing voices is through your ears?
  13. based on your describtion I have thought insertion as opposed to hearing voices. I have never heard of this term before, my pdoc just says it is hearing voice. I am going to look into the "thought insertion thing.
  14. On latuda I had really bad restless legs and some mouth movements. It made me tired about an hour after taking it. I would wake up in the middle of the night but could fall back asleep just fine. I would sometimes have anxiety attacks and psychosis not sure if the anxiety caused the psychosis or vice versa. I would sometimes go 2 weeks at a time without hearing voices followed by 2 weeks where I did hear voices. Latuda was a mixed bag for me.
  15. I just started taking abilify a few days ago but I have been waking up more frequently at night.do you take your dose at morning or night. I have read some folks say they take it at night b/c it makes them tired, maybe taking it at a different time will help.
  16. You all are right, as I list the pros and cons, there are a lot of benefits to being on APs. I just need to tolerate the side effects. I fnally started at my new pdoc and she wants me to start on abilify. I am a little nervous because on latuda I had some days where the voices were so loud and overwhelming that I couldn't concentrate on a conversation with my husband or think straight enough to do simple tasks, on fanapt the voices were mild and I never had an episode that was that bad. If only I could keep my mouth closed. Any one tried both fanapt and abilfy, which one worked better for you.
  17. Hello, I have been on fanapt for several weeks now and my side effect have just been blury vision every once in a while, and restless legs. I still hear voices about twice a week for 2 days but they are pretty mild, haven't had an episode where they are so loud that I can't have a conversation with my husband like I had sometimes on latuda. The main side effect that has been getting to me is I can't seem to keep my mouth shut, people always think I am yawning and sometimes my jaw hurts. My I am changing pdocs and my old pdoc wanted to put me on clozaril but didn't have the resources to draw my blood. I am wondering if I should ask the new pdoc to change my meds to clozaril or not. I still believe there is some dream drug out there that will completely stop the voices and I want to try but the voices are pretty mild on fanapt. I can't seem to find many reviews on fanapt, anyone here on it? How does it compare to other APs.? Has anyone tried both clozaril (not sure if I am spelling that right) and fanapt, how do they compare?
  18. Since my voices seem to say the same words of phrases over and over in my head, sometimes I wonder if it is actualy hearing voices or if I just got the loop stuck in my head, I feel like antipsychotics will not help me with that, this is something I have to figure out on my own. I don't have a tpoc that I see on the regular basis, just a pdoc and group therapy. Maybe a tdoc can help me with this. They seem to be intrusive thoughts but so much like hearing voices that I can't tell the difference. Anyone else have any insight or experience with this?
  19. thanks for the suggestions and it varies, sometimes I sleep through the night, sometimes I wake up at 3 am and can't get back to sleep but it has been like that for me since I started fanapt, before I started falling asleep at 7:30. I haven't been sick lately and I don't think I am depressed. Maybe you all are right and my body just needs the rest, I just don't want to sleep my life away.
  20. I am on fanapt and have been on it for a few weeks my pdoc took me off latuda because I was starting to smack my lips a lot and notice togue movement, not to mention restless legs that won't stop moving. Now on fanapt , my mouth stays open most of the time and people make jokes about me yawning all the time but I'm not and its embarrassing.
  21. The td isn't that bad yet so far I just can't seem to keep my mouth closed and can't stop moving , but doesn't td get worse with time? My pdoc wants to put me on clozaril but she doesn't have anyway to draw blood and do the required tests, I am changing pdocs so we will see what the new one says.
  22. So lately I have been thinking, since I still hear voices on meds maybe I should go off my meds. My voices have changed since on my meds, before meds, I would hear conversations about me in my head, I thought I was psychic and could hear actual conversations people were having,they were so distracting that I could not focus on what was going on in the world around me because I believe they were real.I couldn't sleep.I became paranoid about the thing that the voices were saying to me. Now that I am on meds my voices just say the same words or phrases over and over again, so I am not paranoid about what they are saying, and I can sleep at night. My main concern is the side effects, I seem to be developing td and people have simply just died these unexplained deaths on ap drugs. I'm scared maybe I can face this disease without drugs has anyone here tried it?
  23. I used to not be able to sleep when I was hearing voices but on my meds now, I can fall asleep and sometimes I will fall asleep to escape the voices, this has become a bad happen, I am now dozing off at 7:30pm even when I am not hearing voices, any recommendations for helping me stay awake?
  24. I guess I can say that my voices have changed since I started on medication. Before meds my voices were people I knew having conversations about me that I could hear in my head. Now that I am on medication the voices are the same two people saying the same words or phrases over and over again, talking about me. I don't talk back to the voices because they aren't talking to me. Is anyone else's voices like that?
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