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About sdjeff

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    Earth for now
  1. Hi, I read your 2008 post re: cytomel and TSH. I hope your doc figured out a good dosage for you. Make sure you are not taking your thyroid meds near iron, cal/mag (and possibly others). Also, have them test your vit D levels. Hope this helps. Good luck!

  2. Ok, My back and neck pain is getting really severe. I've ran the gamut of treatments and it's down to narcs. I did oxycodone and lortab for about a year but my dose got super high and it made me a total zombie. I still use the occasional lortab but it doesn't even take the edge off. It's getting so bad I can't do household chores most of the time. Specifically I have disk issues and osteoarthritis in my lower back and neck and neuropathy that spreads all over my back from shoulder to shoulder neck to tailbone. But enough background. Someone suggested low dose Methadone as treatment and I'm just looking for any opinions and personal stories. Thoughts?
  3. Well I spent most of April in the hospital. 2 to be exact. The first one was a horrific experience and I am working with the Legal Aid here in my state to get my bill cancelled and get them reported to some agencies. I ended up leaving AMA just to get out of there after my 72 hour hold was up. I wasn't even allowed to see a pdoc, except on the last day. He actually slammed my chart closed and said I wasn't being forthcoming enough. I was trying my best to be cooperative in a paranoid and somewhat paychotic state. Too bad I can't get punitive damages. (I guess cause I didn't try to go kill myself or anything after) Tried that route. But they are in trouble. Thank you, Legal Aid. Don't get me wrong here, I've been in a lot of hospitals. I know a shitty one pretty quick. The second hospital worked with me and brought me basck from the brink. Wonderful people. In fact I'm still in their "Intensive Outpatient Program" on weekdays. It was really hard to establish trust with the staff and especially the doc I had but ultimately things worked out great. I'm more cooperative than I've ever been and I'm dedicated to doing my work to getting as close to well as I can. Normal is a myth but Well is a good goal in a few years if that's what it takes. I'm also on new meds. That helps too. Now enough of that. I'm still dealing with a lot. My paranoia is still pretty up there. I still hear shit sometimes. I still get telepathic messages and my moods are for shit pretty often. My life and financial circumstances are for shit. But I'm dealing.
  4. I get this thing where taunting, sometimes yelling voices will tell me some pretty nasty commanding stuff. Then a soothing voice tells me what I have to do to make the others go away. Not good stuff.
  5. Ok, So Geodon is REALLY not working out. Since I toxic reaction to 80 mg 2x/dy we've played as much as we can with lower doses and to no avail. I get paranoid and hypervigilant in public. I get paranoid thoughts about my partner. I'm super duper angry and massively irritable. I've seen one visual and I'm definitely hearing things. profoundly depressed. I have passing thoughts about suicide and one a particular night a voice was taunting me into a suicidal act I won't mention here. I'm getting to the point where I don't give much of a shit. So 3 weeks ago I started taking 1/2 mg lortab in the morning and at night then a few days ago to 1 mg and I just want more more more, I took lortab 10 a couple hours ago cause I just couldn't cope. and I just want to take more to just knock myself out and have some peace. And I'm going to do it again tomorrow. Wash, rinse, repeat. I've been sneaking smokes after having been smoke free for over 6 months. This is shit I just don't do. ordinarily I'm much stronger than this. I'm ashamed of myself. I don't know if I'm in a delusion or not. I don't really know what the criteria is for inpatient admission of you're not imminently suicidal or homicidal. I would be if I went through a med change, which I need, or maybe in a cuople weeks cause it's just getting worse. I think I should go in but there are some things, over the next week I have to do to put my affairs in order. Assuming they'll let me through the door.
  6. THanks for your replies. It's good to know I'm not alone. My pdoc has always given me tons of laittute and he has even admitted he's out of ideas. I'm going to see another pdoc soon but right now I'm too overwhelmed to research docs and make appts. I HAVE to come off of what I'm on now. But it will have to be in a supervised enviorment. Then I'll have another docs perspective. So I'll do it eventually. Thank God for sedatives. Thing that suck is my pdoc is one of the best. In fact I checked him out before I went to him. [identifying info for doctor deleted by CB staff.] I'm only typing all this cause 1. he has solid credentials and is googleable. Actually deacent pdoc. 2. the sedatives are kicking in (old Klonopin script) and I'm babbling. My point in a roundabout way is that I will never find a doc nearly as good in the area that accepts Medicare. Sorry for this meandering crap. Gah.
  7. I must be a freak of nature. My sza was left untreated since the early '90s and in 2003 i sought help. After trying 95% percent of what's out there meds just don't seem to agree with me. I't always a combo of either intolerance, poop out or just ineffective. I do my homework and my pdoc has basically put me in the drivers seat. He will prescribe almost any med at any dosage and titration schedule I ask for. It's as if I'm the pdoc and he's the hand that writes the script. Granted we've tried everything since 2003 and he truly is a good pdoc except for this now. I want to switch and I'm going to, although it'll take a couple months or so to see a new one. AS IF he'll have any new ideas. I'm the frreak who can't handle meds. I'm going inpatient soon to come off Klonopin (my idea) and Geodon (very bad reaction at effective dose and also my idea.) Also 3 ACs (not my idea, last inpatient stay) not going so good. Has anyone elses pdoc given their patient carte blanc? Am I a freak cause meds don't work at all? END RANT
  8. Yeah.. Unfortunately Saphris made things a lot worse for me. Broke things, got into fights, got more paranoid and delusional, etc. The thing is that I've literally been on nearly everything. the only AP that hasn't been tried is Clozaril but the high chance of weight gain is a big concern due to joint issues. As far as the ACs, the topo is for migraines but it's definitely the biggest problem as far as those go. Ironically all the meds I take for my physical issues are pretty benign. This seems to be the classic pattern for me. I either: 1. can't tolerate meds outright, 2. they don't work or make things worse, 3. they work ok but eventually become intolerable for any number of reasons. I really wish I was psyching myself out here. I'm withholding the Geo today to see what happens. (keeping it in my pocket, though) I'm going to talk to my pdoc about reducing some dosages.
  9. So Ordinarily I can connect the dots on my own here but I need some help. My psych meds are listed in my sig and its an interesting coctail this time around. But because it's me I think I may be having issues..... First off let me say I'm having more serenity than I've had in years and years. Especially when you factor in my current life stressors which are pretty big. Mentally I'm doing pretty ok. Not functioning great but not wanting to die 24/7 and not constantly angry and being a total bastard. Very little paaranoia and psychosis. You get the picture. Now, of course because it's me theres a downside. Since starting Geodon and Zoloft I've been in a mental fog. Just can't connect the dots and remember things nearly as well as I used to. Also, over the last couple of months my chest pain has been getting worse (history of angina, nothing evil, imaged and everything) and breathing has been getting more difficult.(emphysema, COPD) Also I've been very lightheaded along with vertigo and nausea. It's all getting progessively worse. I think a lot of it is due to anxiety, which the Geodon really does make worse but the only thing that works are benzos and those are not a solution for me. I can't find any info on interactions but my situation is such a complex soup, who knows? My pdoc suggested tapering off the Geodon to see what happens but I'm honestly worried about going off the deep end. So, does anyone know about any possible interactions or reactions? any ideas? TIA
  10. Actually her mother is hardly the primary. Maybe on paper but she wakes her up, slaps her patch on, gets her off to school, and puts her to bed. Everything in between is done by my mother and I . She is a fairly good mom but she has 2 other kids that also demand her attention and a husband that acts like a small child and hurts the situation. and she sometimes says she feels "numb" and doesn't like it. The side effects are a concern. She has a pediatrician but no pdoc. The kid doc is by self-admission not well versed in this stuff and will not refer her to a pdoc. I'm trying to get her on my medicaid but there's a lot of red tape to navigate. It's like a minefield. I know kids with ADHD require some additional guidance but I'm starting to do what my mom did with me with the snide comments, patronizing, commanding and directing. I have not been able to get over my resentments for the way my mom treated me. Are there any resources out there that would maybe help?
  11. Hey all, My 12 year old has been dealing with ADHD ever since she was in about 2nd grade. she's on a very low dose of Daytrana but I do have some concerns about this med and some things I'm starting to do. First, the med.when she takes it she appears, flat, depressed and apathetic. She doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want to discuss anything and is not positive. the only upside is that she is able to concentrate and get her homework done. But I'm really concerned about these side-effects. He mom and my mom claim a lot of other meds have been tried. the other thing is when she's off meds. She is hyper, flighty, impulsive and forgetful. she is up beat though and a lot of fun to be around. She opens up a lot more and we can have a pretty good time together as a rule. Just to clear the air, I'm not just the "fun dad". There are rules, boundaries and expectations. Also due to my disabilities I cannot do everything for her and she knows it. We are extremely close, she's even closer to me than her mom. We are long divorced, btw. I find myself lately losing patience with her. If she leaves something out I'm commanding her to pick it up. I'm asking less open ended quiestions and usually not giving her a choice on something at all. Or I find myself being patronizing. This is stuff I'v never done before. I'm sure it's a combination of her entering adolescence and this ADHD thing. I have ADD myself but I stopped, regrettably, taking meds in Junior High. I don't want to keep doing what I'm doing with her. I know how it feels not to be given a choice on my actions, to be patronized, to be commanded and directed. I just don't know what to do. I don't want my daughter to start resenting me till I kick out the boyfreind with the rainbow Mohawk .
  12. I think I'll ask about a low dose of amytriptaline and a high dose of Provigil. I've been on provigil before but it was a conservative dose. So we'll see. SSRI's were a mixed bag. I was actually allergic to prozac. The others either did nothing or pooped out pretty fast. SNRI's had a tendency to make me aggressive and/or jittery
  13. Considering that I experience psychotic symptoms irregardless of my mood, (mostly voices, chronic paranoia, incessant music, visuals, delusions are simple and quite rare) maybe psychoanalysis isn't the best Idea. I've been doing my own homework on this too. I wish I could find an EMDR tdoc but that's not happening where I live. So I'm going to try DBT and just see what happens. Thanks for your posts, guys. I appreciate it.
  14. Thanks, guys. I do appreciate the support and commiseration. I'm giving my therapist about a month then going for another one. I seem to switch tdocs like clothes but I'm so damn paranoid and most in my experience are judgmental and apathetic. I had a great one for 2 years till my insurance stopped paying for her. Oh well. THis freudian crap this one I have now isn't working so well.
  15. Nope, not on Nardil. Not for quite a while, actually. But my sig is probably a about a year out of date. I take about 20 meds. Most don't interact with psych meds bur I have all kinds of health issues. Off the narcs except for the occasional Lortab. That wasn't too fun. As far as psych meds: Perphenazine: 8 mg 3x/day Tofranil: 300 mg/morning 600 mg/night Lamictal: 200 mg/morning Topamax: 100 mg morning 100 mg/night (this is mainly used as a migraine preventative) I'll get to my sig sooner or later........
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