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About Wonderful.Cheese

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    Cheddar makes everything better!

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    Cheese (lol), Internet, music, knitting, crocheting, crafts in general, trying to go to the gym

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  1. There is so much chatter in the background (and chatter over the chatter like voices talking over each other) that I cannot focus on anything or remember much at all. I am super scatterbrained all the time. Which leads me to believe that my brain is rotting and mostly rotted, actually. I don't know how much of my brain is left. I am incredibly stupid and forgetful and unable to focus for very long at all. I am not sure what to do, if anything can be done.
  2. Tempted to delete my Facebook aka “Fakebook” account. So much garbage. Even my posts are fake “happiness” and “smiles”.

    1. Blahblah


      I hear you...It's garbage for the mind. But I'm sort of addicted still, I'd need to find something worthwhile to replace it with.

    2. Unstrung Harp

      Unstrung Harp

      Yep. I know what you mean. I find myself posting silly things or whatever when my life feels like crap, and ask myself why I'm doing it. Loneliness maybe? But I keep in touch with a lot of family and old friends that way, so I hesitate to delete. Sabbaticals are nice though.

    3. jarn


      I deleted mine in October and I thought I'd feel lost without it - I spent a lot of time on FB - but honestly it's the best thing I've ever done.  I likely will lose touch with some people, but the people who I really have relationships with we've found ways to stay in touch.

  3. Now I’m picking up all the pieces of overspending and it’s brutal. The aftermath of mania. Not fun. Not fun at all. At least no crash yet. Just guilt.
  4. Time to update. Since pdoc increased the Prozac a while back. And changed timing of taking rexulti. No other changes. The AAP’s: Zyprexa Zydis 20mg - treatment resistant psychosis and mood.......20 mg bedtime Abilify 30 mg - mood stabilizer and treatment resistant psychosis......30 mg bedtime Rexulti 2mg - treatment resistant psychosis.......2 mg afternoon The antidepressant: Prozac 20 mg - BP depression.......10 mg AM  The anti anxiety:  Klonopin 3 mg - severe GAD........1 mg AM, 1 mg afternoon, 1 mg evening/bedtime  The mood stabilizer: Lamictal 300 mg - mood stabilizer......300 mg bedtime   Birth control: Yaz - birth control and heavy period control.......one pill AM  Sleep disorders: Nuvigil 200 mg - sleep disorders/wakefulness.....150 mg AM, 50 mg noon Hashimoto’s disease: Synthroid 50 mcg - hashimoto’s disease.....50 mcg AM    Weight control: Metformin 2,000 mg - weight gain prevention from psych meds.......1,000 mg AM and 1,000 mg evening Topamax 200 mg - weight management/loss, controlling overeating.....100 mg AM and 100 mg afternoon
  5. Very nervous for my pdoc appointment. I have to leave now for it. 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Juniper29


      I hope it went well!

    3. Blahblah


      How'd it go Cheese, any updates? Hope all is OK?

    4. Wonderful.Cheese


      Thank you all for the support. I will update in my blog. 

  6. I will tell my pdoc on Friday when I see her. I don’t know how to go about telling her. I do not want any med changes. I don’t know what to say really to my pdoc. Any ideas anyone? I could sure use the help. Thanks much.
  7. I hear you loud and clear. I’m so sorry. How are you doing? Worried. Did you get into an outpatient program? I hope so.
  8. Good news! I didn’t buy the (3rd) Fitbit! but today I did buy 22 skeins of brand new yarn! And now it sits in my craft room. I should have crocheted today oops
  9. 22 brand spanking new yarn skeins today, what will tomorrow bring? Yikes....!

  10. Ok. I will not buy it because I already have one. Well I have 2 lol!,!,! Isn’t hat hilarious? It is hard not to buy it but I don’t know. I will try to skip this deal and not buy. Thank you Oufff. Ok. I’ll pass this deal by. I see sales and get all wound up you know? It’s so hard and tempting. Thanks for the help i really am really am really a m hesitant to tell a soul but you guys here about the manic ish ness. I don’t want it over. This is me. I am md. I can go on forever. I can’t go back.
  11. I need some advice. I am about to buy a Fitbit just because it is on sale. It’s $120. I just spent $75 on new socks. You see, I’m going to get rid of all my old socks and have all new socks! How fabulous is that!? Amazing! But do I buy the Fitbit? It’s a wonder price! I have one already too. But not this nice of one. What do I do? Any help is greatly appreciated. I’m sorry if posting in the wrong forum. I’m manic I think
  12. I started on Paxil at age 13 or 14. I needed it badly. But soon I stared refusing it because I feared it was poison and my parents didn’t bother with further treatment for me. They let me down big time, I would say. I suffered for a long time unnecessarily after that until I was in my early twenties and sought treatment on my own. I am really messed up and scarred from all those years I didn’t have meds and therapy from 13 - early twenties. I think if I had been forced and had proper treatment during that period I think things would have been better for me now. Maybe not, but part of me truly believes this. I bet I could have finished college at least and maybe started a job at minimum. Just sharing my experience. I hope it helps.
  13. There is an answer though. Getting genuine help like you have posted for. Please go to the ER or have someone take you there. That’s the answer. It doesn’t have to be like this. It can feel better.
  14. I have heard/hear both. I am confused though. What does any of that have to do with you getting yourself to the ER to get the help you genuinely need and deserve? I don’t understand. Please take our advice here. We care and want to see you feel better in life.
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