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Wonderful.Cheese

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Status Updates posted by Wonderful.Cheese

  1. It’s 29 degrees Fahrenheit outside and I am only wearing a tank top and jeans and I went outside! Anyway, a cop car drove by and I started giggling like mad! LOL! He probably will come back to take me to the nuthouse!

  2. Since starting zyprexa I have gone down at least 3 pant and top sizes and lost 65+ lbs. w/o trying. My fasting glucose is slightly elevated but I’m working on adding more exercise to remedy that. Fingers crossed!

    1. shesellsseashells

      shesellsseashells

      That's amazing! Congratulations!

  3. Cracking and breaking into bits here. Coming unhinged.

    1. Blahblah

      Blahblah

      This was me this morning. Ended up laying in bed feeling anxious & weepy until 3pm in which then I proceeded to go for a walk to this natural/bio pharma type shop. Was going to buy some Mag/Calcium/B supplements. I picked some out, but then the line was so long I said forget it. I turned around and walked home. My pathetic day.

  4. SZA might just finally beat me this time around. :( 

  5. I’m hungry. I don’t ever get nutrition when husband is working. I don’t cook for myself. No motivation, etc.

    1. confused

      confused

      I have my husband pick up packaged food, fruit and microwaveables  I have trouble fixing meals,  sometimes I have cereal for dinner.

    2. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      Cereal is often my dinner too. I understand. 

    3. saintalto

      saintalto

      Can you buy some healthy snacks to feed you during the day that don’t take preperation? Perhaps little bags of nuts, nutrition bars, or fresh fruit etc...?

  6. Maybe I can begin weaning off some of my meds tonight and use my light box tomorrow! This just feels totally right. 

    1. saintalto

      saintalto

      But it’s not totally right. Your light box makes you manic. Going off your meds is going to send you straight to a hospital. Make an appointment before September with your pdoc. These are really bad decisions Cheese. 

    2. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      I’m sorry. I won’t stop meds without dr guidance. Thank you for the chat. :)  So helpful!!!!! You’re so awesome sauce!!!!!

  7. Good news everyone! Fluid restriction is over! And I have a good vein apparently! Easy peasy lab draw this morning! Now to wait for results!

    1. jarn

      jarn

      YAY!

    2. aura

      aura

      That's great to hear! I know this was hard for you.

  8. I can’t make myself call to reschedule with pdoc. It’s been overdue a week now. I was going to blog but I don’t want to be a blog hog. I can’t focus enough to comment on others’ blogs. So.

    1. saintalto

      saintalto

      It might be a good time to reschedule because you had such a bad experience with your therapist and might want to talk to your pdoc about her “diagnosis”.

  9. I have glitter iridescent spring & cabin fever! Or manic, according to husband. I’m not convinced. 

    1. FairyBelle

      FairyBelle

      I think your husband might unfortunately be correct, Chee. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for better days for you. Hope you may talk about your elevated mood with your doctor too ❤️

  10. Well hot damn. I think this PRN zyprexa is slowing me down a bit already! I just need to stay on top of taking it for a while longer and I’ll be good!

    1. DogMan

      DogMan

      So pleased to hear. Hope it is gentle and you stay happy, just not speedy/dangerous 

    2. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      Thank you so much @DogMan

  11. It’s nice seeing husband more. I love him! I hope I can keep up this less sleep routine forever. 12 hours is way too much. 7 ish is perfect! So nice to have more hours in a day! I can do this nuvigil taper too! I know I can! Wish me l luck!

  12. Aaaaand I’m drunk ? I’m coping welll,!

  13. Why was I so stupid and got off of zyprexa zydis all those years ago? Vanity vs sanity. It is clearly my miracle med as the hospital pdoc said. Rexulti isn’t bad other. But zyprexa zydis really is my miracle med. I should have stayed on it. It would have saved a lot of heartache. 

  14. I’m sorry. I’m just a burden. And I don’t want to bring people down. No one can help me. No pdoc or tdoc. The worry and messages aren’t going away even after this pandemic. 

    1. Juniper29

      Juniper29

      You're not a burden. ❤️

    2. dancesintherain

      dancesintherain

      you'r'e not a burden cheese.  hang in there. 

    3. Unstrung Harp

      Unstrung Harp

      You're one of the brightest spots around here for me, Cheese. You're not a burden.

  15. Ok ok ok. Going to shower today. For real. It’s been at least a week. Yikes. 

    1. mikl_pls

      mikl_pls

      I always feel better after a shower regardless of how I feel beforehand and during the shower. Something about cleaning myself makes me feel better, I dunno... I hope you feel better.

    2. Blahblah

      Blahblah

      Good on you! I've been avoiding that today, will try to take one now.

  16. Sorry. I was so whiny last night. I had to delete my whole blog too because of the monitoring. I see case manager today. I’m nervous. 

    1. jarn

      jarn

      How'd it go today Cheese?  Thinking of you!

  17. Tempted to delete my Facebook aka “Fakebook” account. So much garbage. Even my posts are fake “happiness” and “smiles”.

    1. Blahblah

      Blahblah

      I hear you...It's garbage for the mind. But I'm sort of addicted still, I'd need to find something worthwhile to replace it with.

    2. Unstrung Harp

      Unstrung Harp

      Yep. I know what you mean. I find myself posting silly things or whatever when my life feels like crap, and ask myself why I'm doing it. Loneliness maybe? But I keep in touch with a lot of family and old friends that way, so I hesitate to delete. Sabbaticals are nice though.

    3. jarn

      jarn

      I deleted mine in October and I thought I'd feel lost without it - I spent a lot of time on FB - but honestly it's the best thing I've ever done.  I likely will lose touch with some people, but the people who I really have relationships with we've found ways to stay in touch.

  18. Very nervous for my pdoc appointment. I have to leave now for it. 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Juniper29

      Juniper29

      I hope it went well!

    3. Blahblah

      Blahblah

      How'd it go Cheese, any updates? Hope all is OK?

    4. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      Thank you all for the support. I will update in my blog. 

  19. 22 brand spanking new yarn skeins today, what will tomorrow bring? Yikes....!

  20. If time permits, I will try to blog after tdoc this morning. Gotta run soon here to see her! See you cats later! 

  21. It didn’t work all day today asleep, but PLEASE send me back where I truly belong tonight! I feel so awful. I can’t handle this!

    1. mikl_pls

      mikl_pls

      I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Please know that you are a good person and deserve to be happy. Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way!

    2. coraline

      coraline

      I truly am sorry that you are struggling so..I wish the best for you..you deserve peace in your life..

  22. I cause all the negative energy in my world and in the entire world. Bad things happen because of me. I don’t deserve to be alive. I shouldn’t have survived. I’m to blame. It all makes sense now.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. CrazyRedhead

      CrazyRedhead

      That's not true, Cheese.....You are a valued member here. and you do deserve to be alive.

    3. CrazyRedhead

      CrazyRedhead

      And you deserve to be here, too, DJ.

    4. Cerberus

      Cerberus

      Cheese, I hope you're able to look back at this status update a few days later with greater perspective and see not just that it isn't true, but why it could never be true. No individual has the capability of causing all the bad things in the entire world. It is a physical, logical impossibility. No matter how much your illness may send you critical thoughts, that basic truth cannot change. So, if the illness is lying to you about that, it's lying to you about the rest of it, too. You do deserve to be alive, just like the rest of us, and you're not to blame for anything. Every time a negative thought like that passes through your mind, no matter how much like your own thoughts it sounds, train yourself to say, THAT IS A LIE. And then reject the lie. It can be done.

  23. I see tdoc tomorrow and I have to confront her about this GAD primary DX issue. I’m nervous but it has to be done. I’m worried I won’t stand up for myself enough. I might have to find a new tdoc if she insists on her idea. Yuck.

    1. argh

      argh

      how'd that chat go?

    2. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      Oh sorry!  @argh Just saw your comment now! It went ok. She said she wasn’t changing my DX and it will remain the. Same as what the clinic has it as, so it’s SZA BP type and GAD secondary. I don’t know hey my insurance says reason for visit “GAD”. So odd 

  24. Super nervous for my pdoc appointment. Thinking of bringing my husband with. Bad idea? I’m so anxious. 

    1. shesellsseashells

      shesellsseashells

      I think bringing your husband is a good idea. I hope all goes well.

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