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Everything posted by Wonderful.Cheese

  1. I can’t make myself call to reschedule with pdoc. It’s been overdue a week now. I was going to blog but I don’t want to be a blog hog. I can’t focus enough to comment on others’ blogs. So.

  2. Thank you all. So very much You made me brave enough to call nurse today about all, this , but guess what? It’s a government building so they are closed for the h9liday. Dang. I don’t know if I will be brave enough or truly believe there is some manic stuff going on tomorrow because when I got told by two professionals that “just very energetic and lively and that everyone gets this way in the spring” it really messed with my mind. I trust you all very much though. So that’s why I tried to call nurse today Husband now knows about debt.he knows about mania and was the first to spot it. *DETAILS OF POSSIBLE or probable MANIC BEHAVIOR* omitted too boring but maybe the worst is over and I was never that bad in the first place so that’s why case management and tdoc said thst? And I am sleeping lots. So. But. Anyway. I see tdoc on Thursday online. But I can’t complain. I have a roof over my head. I have craft supplies lol.
  3. EXACTLY the blow to the bank account! Omg do they not understand? How would they like being in debt so very much? I am swimming up to my eyeballs in debt right n9w. It will take me eons to pay all this off! I am freaked out yet still spending ! And my mind just won’t stop! It’s honestly getting too fast. Like sometimes yes very fun still but some,times not FUN anymore. I feel like a few drinks but I don’t know if I should. It might slow me down a bit or not I don’t know. Geez. Sorry for ranting. And I got a whole freaking 6 minute appointment with my pdoc last appointment. Holy cow wow. Like that’s enough time to properly assess my mental state and let me speak. Half the time she was asking about if I had any COVID symptoms. The fuck?
  4. Well mania ends whether you like it or. Not. Mine will surely end on its own soon most likely .. None of my providers really seemed to believe em. (I brought it up to.: My case manager who said I was “just” very energetic and lively and how great is that!. My tdoc said everyone gets this way in the spring. And pdoc said I wasn’t doing anything dangerous so that’s good.) So, what to do? I have some PRN zyprexa extra. But distractions are all over the place and mind = speedy and all. So. I forge t even with phone alarms. I’m trying so dang hard to not buy any more crap. Oh mylanta. I’m in debt. It sucks Anyone else not been taken seriously about bringing up possible symptoms “ ? This hasn’t really happened to me this bad since I got this new care team. I’m a bit off put. Maybe I should have pressed the issue harder but they didn’t seem like they were will8ng to listen. No matter what I said.
  5. I have glitter iridescent spring & cabin fever! Or manic, according to husband. I’m not convinced. 

    1. FairyBelle


      I think your husband might unfortunately be correct, Chee. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for better days for you. Hope you may talk about your elevated mood with your doctor too ❤️

  6. I take it immediately before bedtime. I don’t get the munchies that way. I also find it knocks me out pretty well. I hope the new dosing helps you! And if you can get a PRN even better! It really helps me so I hope it helps you too!
  7. Hi. I am diagnosed treatment resistant SZA bipolar type and zyprexa is my miracle med. I am prescribed to take zyprexa 10 mg twice daily. I take it all at bedtime, however, due to hunger increase unfortunately. I’ve tried it twice daily and I just can’t get past the bad increase in appetite. I can’t afford to gain the weight back. I don’t think I even noticed a difference to be honest when I tried it twice daily but I didn’t give it a fair enough trial either I believe. I think I could handle 5 mg AM and 15 mg bedtime. And I might ask my pdoc about trying this. I notice too, as you do, the “drop off” period where my meds seem to stop working in the evenings about a few hours before bed. I have yet to find a solution to this problem. Despite trying to take different AAP’s at different times during the day. Evenings are hard for me too. But for now, what works best is taking all my total 20 mg dose at bedtime and having 5 mg, up to two times a day as needed or PRN of zyprexa. I have never had to take more than one 5 mg PRN pill in a single day as of yet. But it’s nice to know that they are there as an option. These PRN zyprexa pills are an immense help. I just took one earlier today in fact. I hope you find a solution to this “drop off” problem. If you do, be sure to let us all know.
  8. I have had this feeling in the past. I get messages from the universe about death and I feel like I'm going to die soon at different times of my life. Messages Or not. It hasn't happened for a little while but it's scary IME and strange. I'm sorry you are having a similar feeling. I hope you feel better.
  9. Does your pdoc or his or her nurse return your phone call when you call with a question about a med or something like reoccurrence of or worsening of symptoms (and calls are rare too and only made when absolutely necessary)? I never get a call back from my pdoc’s nurse. I don’t know what she has against me. I very rarely call, and when I do it’s important about a med question. I don’t call about anything else like reoccurrence of or worsening of symptoms. I’ve given up on that luxury dream world. Is it because I go to a county clinic? I still pay for services every month and my insurance through husband pays too. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m not asking for much, am I? And sadly, we can’t afford to go elsewhere with the huge debt to the county MH dept. and then another private copay on top of that. We are already doing that for therapy because of budget cuts at the county clinic. (I really want to go to a private practice though ) But I fear people would take one look at my DX (treatment resistant SZA) and say.....no way! It was hard enough finding a tdoc to accept me.
  10. Thanks iceberg. You are a wealth of good advice and knowledge. I still haven't heard back from my pdoc's nurse. No surprise there. UGH. I guess I will have to call sleep dr today. I see tdoc in about 15 ish minutes. I will run this by her. She doesn't work at the county clinic (stupid budget cuts forcing me to find therapy elsewhere $$$$$), so she can't just email pdoc or her nurse. ARGH
  11. So I have resumed taking the nuvigil for now. Just at 150 mg instead of my 200 mg dose. I received a denial letter from my insurance stating that tiredness from meds was not an approved use for nuvigil and therefore they wouldn’t pay for it but that my dr can appeal. But I haven’t heard back from pdoc’s nurse if my pdoc is even willing to appeal. And I wonder how long an appeal will take too. So I called pdoc’s nurse again today and told her that nuvigil helps my mood too in addition to the tiredness and asked if she had heard from pdoc yet or not regarding if pdoc will appeal for me or not. Asking what I’m supposed to do? If I should stop it even though I don’t think I should? Call sleep dr? I don’t know what to do. Sleep dr will want more sleep studies even though I’ve had 3! And she will want me off some to all of my meds for the daytime sleep study to get accurate results this time around. What is the point even? I’m not going off meds and if I repeat the day study with meds the results won’t change! I don’t have narcolepsy or sleep apnea and those are the only ways my insurance pays for nuvigil. (Besides sleep shift work, and I don’t work) I’m pulling out my hair here.
  12. Slugging along and laying in bed currently. I should go shower and work on crochet projects to distract. Hopefully I can make myself do this soon.
  13. Sorry harp. But proud of you for pushing through and washing your hair and looking at your work. That’s really great! ❤️
  14. 1. Make phone calls to pdoc’s nurse and sleep dr regarding nuvigil (didn’t happen, too late now, I really need to do this and should have done this today damn) 2. crochet 3. Don’t overeat 4. get up at 6 - 7 AM (slept until 10:45 AM) 5. Audiobook 6. exercise (ppfffffttt hahaha like I’m actually gonna do that) 7. clean (ppfffffttt hahaha like I’m actually gonna do that)
  15. Thanks. I don’t know what reason my pdoc wrote for prescribing me the nuvigil. I have a history of having sleep apnea. But no more. I wonder what my pdoc wrote. I know it can be used off label as help with depression. I know it helps my mood. It’s the one stimulant type med that hasn’t messed with causing me mania or worsened my psychosis. And if I can’t get it prescribed, I’ll go back to sleeping 18 hours a day again. No fun. I’m at a loss. It’s really an essential part of my med cocktail.
  16. @rowan77 Do you have any PRN meds for sleep or calming meds to help you sleep that you could take to get some good sleep tonight? I’m sorry you are having trouble sleeping.
  17. It’s been some monkey gasoline bad manicure days, I tell ya. I sleep 18 hours per day or I take a pill (nuvigil) and I sleep half that amount per day. I don’t see a solution. I guess I go back to sleeping 18 hours per day forever. Peachy. And you can about imagine what the voices are saying to me!
  18. I don’t really take a mood stabilizer. I mean, I take lamictal but it does nothing for mania. I really am not sure what it does for me to be honest. I have treatment resistant SZA bipolar type. I take 3 antipsychotics. Rexulti, Abilify, and zyprexa zydis. Zyprexa Zydis is really the workhorse for my mania prevention, so much so that I have extra 5 mg, up to twice a day PRN for when I get manic or struggle with bad psychotic days. Would adding a second antipsychotic be an option? Like zyprexa or seroquel xr or risperdal maybe? Abilify really doesn’t prevent mania for me, hence the addition of more antipsychotics and the fact that I have treatment resistant psychosis too. And Zyprexa Zydis I’m losing weight on. Just sharing my experience. And a possible option to discuss with your pdoc. Good luck with finding a good med cocktail that works very well for you!
  19. The Brief time I was on haldol it really helped quiet my mind too. I was prescribed 5 mg , three times a day. But I guess I’m lucky because zyprexa zydis really helps me and fixes a lot of what you list. I would say it couldn’t hurt asking to try haldol especially if it’s PRN, unless I’m misunderstanding. Either way, since your pdoc is aware you have a bad reaction to AAP’s, he/she should be more willing hopefully to listening to you when you say you tried haldol in the past and it helped you out a lot. I would hope so anyway. Good luck to you.
  20. Get out of bed (which only happed after I took a nuvigil at 1:15 pm) Shower Put away laundry Fake and act normal around in-laws/survive that time period (I think I did this sort of?) Call pdoc’s nurse and beg for an awake med
  21. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I guess I’ll go back to sleeping 18 hours a day minimum.
  22. You are right. Insurance probably won't cover my remaining refills left now! I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll try 75 mg for nearly a month. Then 50 mg for a month? Then off? I feel fine without it though so far today and I got up at 7 AM. I had my usual caffeine after an hour after my thyroid pill kicked in. I feel fine. Idk.
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