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Status Updates posted by Wonderful.Cheese

  1. Again: shower badly needed. 

    Again: poor time management.

    1. confused


      I have been there often.  Just do what you can.  You can take a shower when you have time.

    2. Geek



  2. Currently panicking and can't stop crying. I don't want husband to die.e I think I'm the one hwo should die, nto him. What if the cancer spreads again? Is it only a matter of time?!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. saintalto


      Is the cancer back? I think I may have missed your journal entry...

    3. Wonderful.Cheese


      No. Thank goodness the cancer is not back. Just panicking about things. Sorry if I was unclear.  

    4. saintalto


      It's okay, nothing to be sorry for. 

  3. Everything is all my fault. I've probably ruined my marriage. 

    1. Southern Discomfort

      Southern Discomfort

      Don't be mad at yourself, be mad at the illness. You didn't ask to be this way and it's not your fault.

      From what you've said your husband needs to learn some boundaries around your medication.

  4. I  know who is stalking me online. I hope she can find some inner peace instead of just lashing out at people who have “wronged” her long ago. 

    As for me, I’ve come too far and I don’t let people walk all over me anymore or take advantage of me anymore. I’ve gotten stronger. I hope for her sake that she can grow stronger too.

    1. coraline


      I hope you're not getting stalked..

      It's a scary thought if you are and I hope it's not true..

    2. coraline



      Cheese has worried and believed someone was stalking her for as long as I have known cheese..

      I think it's dismissive to say that someone that believes something to be true..

      Is doing something to get a rise out of people..

      We are here to support each other..not fight or belittle each others beliefs..

    3. Geek


      You have been concerned about being stalked for a long time. Whether it's actually happening or not, I don't/can't know and it really doesn't matter. The fear and anxiety you have is real and I am so glad you're feeling safer and stronger!

  5. Should I do the PHP thing or not? I'm really stuck. 

    1. survivingbp


      I think it could be a really good idea! It's probably worth a try - if you really don't like it after a while, you can always drop out right?

    2. lifequake


      What would you do instead?  When my alternative was to stay in bed all day, alone, & depressed, I found PHP helpful. 

    3. Wonderful.Cheese


      Thanks guys. I didn't get a call about PHP from my team today but just realized it's a holiday and the clinic is closed.

      I am supposed to see case manager tomorrow. But I doubt that will actually happen.

      But I'm super nervous to do PHP again. I don't want to do it but probably should. But I've been through it all before. Meh. My meds are fine and I already get a lot of therapy. I prob don't need it. Idk. Sorry for rambling. 

  6. So freaking depressed and out of it right now. I can stop everything from ending. But I'm too scared to do it. I don't want this life anymore anyway with how I've been feeling.  

  7. angry manic girl here, nice to meet you. How's it oging?

    1. Keaton


      :( I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish you could get some PRN zyprexa or something of the sort.
    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      Thanks Keaton for all your support! That means a lot to me.

  8. Back on the seroquel train

  9. Calmer today finally!

    1. dragonfly23


      That's wonderful, Wonderfull!

    2. cosima
  10. Coming down from the mania a bit more! I think I'm improving a bit! :)

    1. San


      Glad to hear it!

    2. jt07


      I'm happy for you!

  11. Deleted my blog

    1. koa


      I hope you will start another one if you feel you want one.

  12. Dying inside

    1. fantod


      forbidden hug, Cheese.

    2. dragonfly23


      More forbidden hugs, Wonderful

  13. Feeling a bit better!

    1. Katamaran


      great to hear :)

  14. Feeling abandoned and SOL.

  15. Feeling good for the first time in so long! I don't even remember the last time I felt good like this.

    1. tired tammy
    2. goddessone


      That makes me feel happy too!

  16. Feeling less of the effexor withdrawal! Yay!

  17. Feeling very good. Why the drastic change? I hope this doesn't turn into mania.

  18. Finally back home from an IP stay!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      I am feeling so much better! Thanks CynicalReality!

    3. yarnandcats


      yay! glad you're back home!

    4. Brokendishes


      Welcome back Cheese! Hope you're feeling better :)

  19. I am feeling more focused and calm this morning. I notice my stim wears off in the evening. Then I feel crabby and just awful again. I think I need a dose increase! Will contact sleep doc.

  20. I am so tempted to take all those damn meds...how much klonopin is in there I wonder? Seroquel? etc.

  21. I can't think very well. Words are too thick.

  22. I can't wait for spring/summer! I'm sitting here freezing in our house! Brrr!

    1. dragonfly23


      I agree this cold has to go!

  23. I didn't nap today!

    1. Butterflykisses


      Did the latuda at night switch work???!!!

  24. I have been laying here crying my eyes out for the past hour. I hate being depressed. I also thought I was getting better too. What a let down.

    1. rowan77


      Sorry you're feeling so low. Hope you feel a bit better soon

    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      Thanks for the perspective guys! I really appreciate it!

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