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pocketsprite

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  1. Hi everyone! I'm a 22-year-old student. I have Bipolar I and Generalized Anxiety. Periodically I self-harm. I'm currently really frustrated with my inability to find the right combination of meds. I'm finishing school a year late due to mental health problems, which, justified or not, is a big source of shame and anxiety for me. I'm very medication compliant and have a great pdoc. The problem is that most meds, even in very small amounts, make me so labile (esp. atypical antipsychotics, antidepressants, and anti-convulsants) I can't function. I have a tendency toward scary manias and mixed episodes (I can't remember the last time I had a true depressive episode), and even when I'm not in a full-blown episode I'm symptomatic (severe agitation, inability to concentrate, etc.). The only med that doesn't seem to worsen my symptoms or create new problems has been lithium. I generally like older (typical) anti-psychotics as well since they really seem to eliminate the persistent intrusive thoughts, paranoia, and delusional thinking I experience without jacking my mood up into non-functioning territory. Unfortunately, they also give me uncomfortable (at times painful, particularly in my hands and back) EPS at low doses and also cause my mood to dip. I'm here because I'd really like to meet people who have had similar experiences with college, medication, and life in general. I'm hoping to learn from you all, too. I haven't felt like myself since my last big manic episode (over a year ago now), and I just want to be able to function again. I'm currently off of school (going back next semester to finish out what I have left). I look forward to interacting with all of you.
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