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About CeremonyNewOrder

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    Voices say I'm the shit

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  1. I understand that if someone is really unsafe they need to be admitted to the hospital but it just dawned on me this morning when I was listening to a piece on suicide prevention on NPR that when I was hospitalized a couple of months ago no one at the ER or at the hospital ever asked me once why I wanted to kill myself. And it was the same with past hospitalizations. I'm too scared to bring up any conversation about suicide now for fear of being admitted. Perhaps in the hospital, where one is safe, you could really truly express your feelings, why you want to kill yourself and a therapist coul
  2. First of all, let me say that I'm not in imminent danger of hurting myself but I have been suicidal several times this year and will no doubt be again sometime. I REALLY wish when I was suicidal I could be honest with my therapist and talk through the issue and not hide what I'm going through. If I talk suicide, I get slapped with a 51 50 and the conversation ends and its off to the looney bin. At the psych hospital, no one even asks you why you want to kill yourself. Its just pill pushing (not saying getting on the right medication isn't valuable). I've never called a suicide prevention line
  3. I googled schizoaffective disorder and ketamine. The literature generally says its a bad idea for psychotic disorders but this article says this should be reassessed in treatment of depressive episodes in schizoaffective disorder. I wonder if this applies to the nasal spray as well or not. https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/ketamine-role-in-schizoaffective-disorder-depressive-type-2155-6105-1000346-94423.html
  4. After a lot of research I think I finally found an answer to my question. Evidently there are like 3 or 4 different genetic phenotypes for how one metabolizes drugs. It goes from one extreme (poor metabolizers) who are super sensitive to drugs and usually get all the side effects of a med to the other extreme (rapid or ultra rapid metabolizers) who metabolize a drug so fast that they get little or no effect whatsoever, which is my experience. I then googled for articles about ultra rapid metabolizers in the psychiatric literature and it turns out that psychiatry is starting to speculate that
  5. I've had therapists tell me the brain has neuroplasticity and can be rewired with practices such as mindfulness. That being said, I don't think anyone is arguing that it can replace biological processes that cause things like depression or mania. Just that it can help in conjunction with medication and therapy.
  6. Yeah I figure ketamine is off limits for people who have psychotic symptoms though I read one study of it's use in bipolar depression. I've yet to ask my pdoc. It doesn't matter anyways because it's not covered yet by my insurance.
  7. Whenever I call a non-psych doctor or nurse or member services about a health issue, the answer is always "go talk to your psychiatrist," "your just stressed," "you just need to be on the right medications" etc... I get the feeling that I'm being discriminated because of my diagnosis. No one ever stops and considers that my problems may be physical in nature and not related to my diagnosis. Do you find that you get discriminated against in the health care system because of your MI? What do you do about it?
  8. Defeted. I've faced numerous health issues this year and most of my psych meds have stopped working. I'm in a severely depressed state and don't know what to do. The only option given to me is ECT now. This has been the worst year of my life.
  9. I don't know how Canada does hospital admissions but here a criteria is "gravely disabled" also you are a threat to yourself if your starving yourself. I know how hard it is to go the ER and have to endure the snide comments and judgements by the staff but it sounds like you really need to get admitted. I'd go. Tell them your pdoc told you to go. I'm really sorry for you and I hope you get help soon.
  10. I too am considering ECT. My pdoc thinks I'm too far gone and treatment resistant for TMS to work *sigh*
  11. I'm sorry for your situation. I just wanted to add that exposure therapy helped me with my OCD.
  12. Effexor requires a careful and slow titration down. Definitely consult your pdoc.
  13. My heart goes out to you. I too suffer from insomnia and I'm treatment resistant. Have you tried something like restoril or Ambien? Also I read this book called sound sleep sound mind that helped to improve my sleep by a couple of hours. There is also a branch of CBT on insomnia, which according to studies is effective. I'm sure you know all about sleep hygiene by now. https://www.amazon.com/Sound-Sleep-Mind-Sleeping-through/dp/111851601X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=sound+sleep+sound+mind&qid=1616689499&sprefix=sound+sleep+s&sr=8-3
  14. Cheese, I was wondering if you were able to get caplyta with your insurance? I was just put on it and my pdoc says it's suppose to be better in terms of weight gain, diabetes, and movement disorders.
  15. As my therapist says, the OCD always wants complete control
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