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About KnickNak

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    The D
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    Things I can’t afford.

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  1. Trouble on my left, trouble on my right. I’ve been facing trouble almost all my life. (It’s a song) 

    1. Unstrung Harp

      Unstrung Harp

      Hey, I know that song. Sorry you're feeling that way though.

  2. I am guessing you aren’t from The States. Haha College here sucks. You have to pay at least $50-60k for a BA Degree. And even then the jobs here are soo limited that people who have degrees can’t find any work. So, you have to either get lucky or find a career that you know that you will be employed. I totes get you on the feeling out of control with the drinking. That’s the only reason I don’t drink too. Well, I don’t like the spins and throwing up. When I have drank, it was always very little. Plus, with meds everything is 2-3x potent. So, 2 Vodkas can really mean 4. Thanks for the feedback. 😀
  3. Wow! Congrats 😀 I agree. If you can find the right cocktail of meds it can change ones life. I am seeing a new therapist, I am hoping she can give me a different perspective on how I think. I wanted to go to a hospital but there aren’t any around here, or any that would I would benefit from. No Surprise tho. I hope you continue to be well!
  4. Nice. I give you major credit for going to school. That alone is very hard. That’s the thing I was concerned about if I could handle a job or be considered reliable. Restaurants are huge triggers to me. I had to go for my Mom’s Birthday to this Steak House. As soon as I walked in. I said FUCK. It was one of those restaurants that it’s super dark in there( Romantic Lighting ) and it was packed. When I am out with people of course they ask what I want to drink. But, I just say I am on Medication. Sometimes it’s hard to have a good time when you’re sober and it can be a hard time connecting with people. I am at the age where I am content with going out once every 2 months haha. I get bored easily.
  5. Yay, for getting out of the house! That sounds good by the way 😃 🍔 You sound like you may have a mild form of it. It usually starts off of what you are describing. I slowly lost confidence and was avoiding a lot of situations where I know It would cause anxiety. I always said the same thing. It’s like I felt jealous of how they don’t have to worry about getting anxious. Can I ask how old you are and if you work?
  6. I used to do the same! I have been called flaky, rude and bitchy. It is harder trying to pretend that I don’t have it. I usually just say , I have bad anxiety and that I have certain limits and boundaries that I have to stay in. Sometimes if they really want or care to know I will tell them my triggers too. How are you doing otherwise with it?
  7. I was literally going to write the “ Fake It Til You Make It” quote. Haha. Thanks for understanding. It is Grey ATM. I have been here before. I tend to look back on these posts to see what kind of place I was mentally . I do have support. But my family’s support has transitioned to not listening to me anymore. And that I have to figure it out on my own and they can’t fix me. I just started seeing a new therapist last week, so far she seems great. I am hoping she can give me some tools. Without having to rely only on meds. I do see a pdoc as well for over 7 years now. Currently increasing the Seroquel a bit. Things have been bumpy. I am hoping this will pass soon and instead of being severely depressed I will just go back to feeling apathetic. Thanks for the response, it helps.
  8. I have too much insight. Sometimes it would be nice to be oblivious. 

  9. Just curious. I have gotten a lot better from where I was back in 2012-2015. But, I am not where I want to be. Has therapy “cured” you? I have noticed I can pretty much be anxious anywhere no matter where I am. I am more open to people about it, instead of having to lie and making up excuses, (so I don’t have to explain what it is.) Sometimes I get the Deer In The Headlights Eyes when I explain it to people. Oh Well. I am going to make a goal to go somewhere that I haven’t been to in a long time.
  10. Ok. So it’s no secret. I am depressed and have been for months. If I get a glimpse of happiness or hope. I know that it’s short lived. I have heard this over and over again “No one or something can make you happy, you have to find it or want it.” When you lose desire, good luck. I have pretty much given up. I can whine all I want. But in reality it’s not whining anymore, it’s the truth. I try to focus on others and their happiness instead of how sad I am. How long do I have to pretend? I am waiting for my happy fairy. Man. I am a sad sack of shit.
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