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    Somewhere over the rainbow
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    music, food, movies, my lover, my lesbian lover, my brothers and sisters

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  1. I had no luck with any of the atypicals, so I got put on Thorazine which helped my paranoia, hallucinations (visual and auditory), delusions, etc. it's not common (I had to call 5 different pharmacies before I found one that carried it), but it was a life saver for me.
  2. I'm sorry you are feeling afraid, I have felt similarly. When you said you feel like you aren't human and stuff like that, I have felt like that. I would walk around but I wasn't all there, I was paranoid of everybody, voices were telling me things, I was seeing things too, but I legitimately felt like I wasn't real, that my existence wasn't real. I felt like I was floating and I had no control. However this started before I was diagnosed with bipolar/psychosis/OCD/etc and medicine helped. Intrusive thoughts do not mean you are bad, I used to think I was a monster because I would have bad thoughts. I have OCD issues with number and letters, license plates, stuff like that, I don't have a paranoia associated with it, but things have to be in a certain order, numbers are generally very good for me, but I have to remind myself that I cannot spend all my time with my patterns or I will slide too far down from my health.
  3. Hm, My pdoc put me on Thorazine (chlorpromazine) for psychosis issues obviously, but I think it did take some of anxieties away as well. As for mood, I wish I knew specifically if it helped, but I was already on depakote long before that, and whatever mood issues I was having (non psychosis related) were taken away. So i guess it can help a bit with the mood from your psychosis issues, but I wouldn't think just that would fix everything, but I'm not a pdoc, so what do I know? Lol I suppose it just depends on your diagnoses and the presentation of your diagnoses.
  4. I totally understand that, med-free life is NOT for everyone. I totally get needing it. The first few months med free were rough, but I was able to pull through especially after going IP (best decision I ever made outside of marrying my husband who has supported me the whole way). I've heard of some scary side effects for a good bit of the anti-psychotic meds. Outside of Thorazine, my only option would be haldol at this point since atypicals aren't working for me (if I were to need meds again). And let's face it, Improbably will especially once I get pregnant, since I'm very sensitive to change in general. good luck!! I really hope you get it resolved soon
  5. I've heard great things about Latuda from people on this site. Saphris worked great temporarily for me, only side effect is the first few days for about an hour or so after taking it I had trouble swallowing, and I would fall asleep, but that went away after a few week Geodon didn't do anything for me. I was only on Seroquel for sleep and it did nothing. Zyprexa made me restlessness and did nothing for my psychotic episodes and hallucinations. Abilify was a nightmare. I never took Risperdal only because it was so similar in composition to something else I took that didn't help. I wish I remember what that medicine was because I don't think I mentioned that one. My doctor said the only things left were the typicals, which is how I ended up on Thorazine. It took calling 5 different pharmacies to find one that carried it! I had zero side effects with Thorazine I am actually unmedicated now, and have been since a few months after I went IP 3 years ago. I am actually doing really well unmedicated now. For me the medication helped me get to a place that I could cope on my own. I got off medication because it was wrecking me physically and cognitively. I have memory problems, speech issues, and minor bladder control issues (which is embarrassing as a young adult). Overall worth it for me, just not long term. Hopefully I don't get to a point where I can't live without meds again.
  6. I had some major issues with Abilify. I can't say too much as for "did it go away with a higher dosage?" type questions...I literally only took it for 1 day before calling my pdoc almost in tears of anger because I could barely walk, talk, breathe, etc because of the uncontrollable shaking (like TD, except it went away mostly, still very minor to this day 4 years later but not a permanent hindrance in my life). There was a lot of internal agitation like you described as well. That was always a common side effect for any AAP I took. Once I moved on to Thorazine, I had no problems with the incessant physical restlessness agitation nonsense. It was physically and emotionally painful when I was on medicine like that. What other AAPs have you tried?
  7. Wow we have the same lightning pic lol. Cool, also I've been somewhere over the rainbow a few times. 

  8. I was on olanzapine briefly but found it didn't work well for me, Saphris worked well for months and I didn't experience weight gain to my knowledge (I was on depakote which cause extreme weight gain) i also ran out of options for antipsychotics because none of the atypicals worked for me, if i didn't try it, it was because my psych said it was too close to the other ones for it to be effective, so I moved on to Thorazine (chlorpromazine) and I did really well with that for a long time im trying the unmedicated route at this point, and overall it's going ok
  9. I haven't self harmed in 2 years, but had done it off and on for about a decade My reasonings changed... Most of the time it was to release frustration, sometimes it was so I didn't do it to others, sometimes I did it as a type of revenge, sometimes it was to numb the feelings, sometimes control, and sometimes to make myself feel... And sometimes just because felt like it and was bored. I'd say 75% of the time it was about control
  10. Seroquel didn't make me sleep, Ambien did. But Saphris knocked me out instantly but after awhile it stopped.
  11. Yes, none of the atypicals worked for me, so I got put on Thorazine and it worked wonders. 25mg 3x day
  12. Yes, I used to have extremely vivid dreams, and I also used to wet the bed because of them too :/ at 22 yrs old that was the most embarrassing thing ever...thankfully it doesn't happen anymore
  13. Well, I did not have a good experience with Abilifraud...I mean ABILIFY, but like people have said before, what works for one may not work for another. I however could not stop shaking and had the worst akathisia. I couldn't tell if it helped my psychosis or not because the side effects were so bad. :/ I'm not sure what dosage I was on...maybe 10mg? But I've taken so many meds... I really don't remember.
  14. I've tried a bunch of the AAP's... See my signature for dx, my favorite AP is Thorazine, only one that I didn't have intolerable side effects!
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