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confused

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About confused

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    bundle of nerves

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  • Website URL
    https://lorib.blog/

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  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    Southern California
  • Interests
    very amateur writing

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  1. I used to have many short episodes of dp/dr where I would feel like I was waking from a dream, but it was real. I know everything that is going on and who I am. I may lose pieces of a conversation but not much. It startles me. It used to scare me. Now, I know it is dissociation and with me it gets worse with anxiety. I still have a lot of anxiety but it is much better than in the past. And, the dissociation decreased. Lately, it has been popping up, but at unusual times. It happens in the computer lab at work which is not stressful to monitor the computer use. Today it happened at a group event but it makes more sense. There were many people in the room. My tdoc is retiring and i got real antsy looking for someone new. I finally decided to put the search on hold. She does not retire until Dec. But, I feel anxious. Like, I am worried about making a mistake.
  2. Now I am thinking of canceling the video appt and start looking for someone new closer to when my tdoc retires
  3. My therapist is retiring in Dec. I am glad she gave me a lot of time to process and find a new therapist. I called my insurance and they approved 3 EAP visits that I could use to see different tdocs. I saw one, she seemed fine. I don't know what to look for really, I just want to connect. So, I was able to keep my appt with tdoc after meeting that other tdoc Now, I decided to try video therapy (like facetime). I found a company and they assigned a therapist. My first meeting is on W 6/26. They do not take EAP, but they take my insurance. The lady from insurance was helpful, but I am still confused. I don't need any preauthorization. But, she sounded like I will not be able to see old tdoc once I switch. I want to at least say goodbye. I texted her and she will call back. Has anyone gone through this process? I have changed tdocs before and said goodbye and switched but I want to be able to have at least one more appt Update: I talked with tdoc. She said,yes, that I can not continue to see both. She suggested I have my appt on 6/26 and have a farewell appt with her 6-27 Also, she wondered why I am so anxious and getting everything changed now instead of waiting until she retires. I was hoping i could just check out some tdocs without committing. That is not how it works, though. The insurance woman said I could interview them over the phone.
  4. I have never taken xanax. I used to take klonopin 1 mg nightly. When I was in the hospital they took me off it abruptly and I felt seasick, dizzy in the morning. Not anything terrible but unpleasant.
  5. I don’t notice it affecting my mental health. I had a hysterectomy in my late 40s with ovaries left intact, so I have to go by other signs. I am 55. But, when my son started weaning from breastfeeding, I had my first psychotic break. Don’t know if they are related but it was a hormonal change.
  6. Yes, I like my pdoc and my tdoc, but I don’t know if someone else could help me with some issues I have with anxiety and fatigue. And, my tdoc is retiring and there are only so many options with my insurance.
  7. I answered in November, but I changed my mind. They all serve a purpose, or I would not need them. I said lexapro and wellbutrin because they help with my most common presenting symptoms at the present. But, if I had to choose one it would be abilify. It is versatile. Helps with psychosis and agitation. As much as I dislike depression and anxiety, I can usually get through them. Psychosis for me does not end until I am on an antipsychotic at an adequate dosage. And, agitation to me is very distressing. I just had an anxiety attack at work and my dr upped my abilify (I am maxed out on lexapro). It is sedating for me and a little extra seems to be helping. If i had to give up one, it would be lamictal. It probably is doing something for me, but it is not noticeable.
  8. There is a diabetic association website, they don’t recommend any particular diet, but they show a plate with 1/2 veggies and a little carbs and the rest protein. A lot of people do keto or low carb/high fat. It is good you are taking it seriously. I have type 2 diabetes. It runs in my family. I still have a terrible diet. The medications work, but I would need less and have more control if I ate better. I sometimes go to a uk diabetes website if I have questions. If you are interested I will post the link. Wow, ! 73 is awesome. You are doing great
  9. I am sorry you feel that way Cheese. You could be misinterpreting things. You have always been nice here. I get irritable some times. People do. It's okay to have an off day. Try to distract yourself until you hear from your husband. I am surprised how much a small change in meds can affect me sometimes. I just increased my abilify a bit to try to help with anxiety. I hope we both start feeling better soon
  10. Update, saw pdoc th. He mentioned most of the options here. I told him I don’t want anything sedating, so he bumped up my abilify. I am doing okay. a director at my work, not my boss, has been helping me get approval to do my job. She said I do so much they should remove obstacles. It made me feel good and I am glad. I had things sitting in the back burner needing someone to take care of them, because I was not allowed, I am still anxious, but it helped.
  11. I am not sure what is going on. This is a huge response to nothing. i asked a client’s conservator about something before asking my boss and then he came in because he thought I had something urgent. I went as quickly as I could to my office for paperwork and was out of breath trying to go over it with him. Nothing happened. But, I continued to have shortness of breath. I felt dizzy and queasy. i mentioned it to a co worker I trust and she said she carries a prn with her. Not offering, just that she can relate and that is what she does. i have trouble with as needed meds, I either take too much because I am anxious often, or don’t take it because I am not sure. my pdoc is not a big benzo fan. i was concentrating on my breath but it did not help much. should I ask my doc about a prn at my next appointment? What would be a good one that I would still be able to work and drive? finally calming down. I am at home on my bed
  12. I went to a mental health conference on Wed. I went to 4 seminars. They were all really good. the last one of the day was on high functioning anxiety. I am not sure if the speaker came up with the term. I was not able to hear the whole thing because I started to have a coughing fit and left the room. but, I did hear part of it. walking in I thought this could be about me. I have anxiety. I am functioning well. but her description of hf was that you look cool on the outside, but inside you are a mess and you don’t avoid the things that make you anxious. nope, I have regular anxiety, I seem as overwhelmed as I am and I want to avoid things that make me feel bad. she also talked about imposter syndrome and cbt i do feel like if people really knew me I would be rejected. I am not an overachiever, though. Just sometimes feel like a fraud. has anyone come across this term? I really don’t understand functioning categories. If you are distressed but it is not having an impact on your functioning where does that fit in as far as mi? These people sound much stronger than I am. When I am distressed it effects everything. sorry for the rambling. I am going to blog about the whole conference but I had never heard of this so I decided to post
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