confused

I guess I am really doing this. I asked a woman to be my sponsor and she said yes. I will call her tonight.

I have a few reasons to stop drinking (physical and mental health), but I have been ambivalent. I have tried stopping before or moderating, but I don't stick with it. I went to SMART Recovery meetings but they only offer a few meetings near me. (they do have on line meetings). I was resistant to trying AA because it seemed too religious for me. But, today, I decided to give it a chance. I found a virtual meeting and zoomed. It was good. They have one at the same time every day. I am, going to try to go tomorrow, too.

Pirate Raider is ready for Halloween. Bring on the treats!

Thanks. It went well. It us slow because you have to take time to write but did not feel awkward like when there are pauses in person. We are doing it again next week. I think eventually I will move back to telephone or in person when that is an option

I am having trouble opening up in therapy. This has been the case since I started with this therapist. I took a break from therapy, but I do have issues I would like to be able to talk with someone. i asked my tdoc if we could text or email instead of talking and she said texting would be okay. She can bill for it. i also emailed a different therapist to see if she is taking new clients in case this fails. it takes me awhile to formulate my thoughts and organize them. I think it may be easier for me to write then to speak. i hope it goes well. Or I figure something else out.

I get irritable, snap at people which is unlike me. a pdoc once told me if people are looking at me strangely that could be a sign, I don’t know if he meant I would be acting a little strange or be paranoid. I get really impulsive, need answers or things done now. My husband will point out if I am not sleeping much.

That sounds rough. If you could find one, would she go to a support group for young people with depression or group therapy.?

My daughter was disrespectful and angry towards me for years. She is 22 now and just in the past year or so it has gotten better. She was living in an apartment on campus and I think the distance helped. She has been home since March and she is nicer to me. people did say similar things to me. That I should not let her get away with that behavior. She is stubborn and stronger willed than me. I just had to wait for her to mature. I am still not her favorite person but she does not get angry at me. I am not saying not to take her depression and moodiness seriously. Definitely have her see a doctor. I am just saying with proper treatment and time things should improve. (sorry if I am way off base)

When I took topomax I had much difficulty with word recall. I would be describing things and making gestures. it was a side effect.

My understanding is you would pause or stop mid sentence. I think I do this. I have to pause to think and I can't keep different ideas in my head. But, no one has mentioned it to me. It is a symptom. I have not sought any specific treatment.

My niece created a picture of my dog with pastels on wood. This is a time lapse of her drawing. I am including the original photo

My life comes with a soundtrack, but the songs change depending on the environment.

I had similar issues with risperdal which it is related to.

Hi there. My dx changed from bipolar to schizoaffective, bipolar type. There are links in my signature to a series of articles by Michael Crawford who had schizoaffective. I found them helpful. there are 2 types: bipolar and depressive. not much changed with the diagnosis. It seems to fit better. I have mostly psychotic and not so much mood symptoms. I did have my antipsychotic increased but I was symptomatic. I am on a cocktail of meds. I have been relatively stable for 15 years. It is possible to have a good life with this disorder. Stress brings out my symptoms so I have a pretty quiet life. there is also a book called the center cannot hold by Elon Saks that I found inspiring.