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confused

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Everything posted by confused

  1. high 80s and humid Trying to stay cool
  2. Yes, I tried tracking and that was the only consistent thing. I guess I am more anxious than I realize.
  3. I still lose parts of conversations but tactile grounding helps me, too. Thank you
  4. I guess it is increased anxiety. Everything seemed far away and foggy in a support group I go to. It was pretty crowded. I ended up leaving, I felt uncomfortable. This week, there were few people but we all were talking about anxiety. I felt more anxious as I was describing it. I had a similar experience as the other night. I am not sure if this is the best place to post. I don't know how to calm my anxiety. It is better when I am busy and distracted
  5. If you stare into space and feel foggy, it may be a form of dissociation. There is a sub for that here. I do that and .i find the better I control my anxiety the less it happens.
  6. I have heard other things, not that one. I had delusions because I was lonely or did not want to make my own decisions. I don’t even know what your tdoc means. Your subconscious is not a voice. I understand what you are saying. Who can you trust? Keep telling your pdoc what is going on. Maybe mention what your tdoc said. i am sorry you experienced that. Just don’t let your tdoc ignorance affect the rest of your treatment.
  7. Too darn hot. Weatherman says high 70s F. but it feels higher
  8. I think that is brave. I had a tdoc tell me I have to take suicide off the table because I have children (they are both over 18 now, but were young at the time). It put me in such distress. I did not realize how having the option of an exit plan made life bearable. I am selfish. I had a plan once and I did not think about anyone else. I only was deterred because I realized it was not a very good method. I am not suicidal. I rarely am. I just feel more secure knowing I can exit if the pain gets unbearable. You are right. It would have a huge impact on the people around you, who care about you. I admire you for taking that into consideration. I have a friend that says her cat keeps her alive because no one would be there to care for it. I am so glad she has that cat.
  9. Thanks We did not use the book but I brought it. We talked about sources of support among other things. It was a good session and I will bring the book next time, too.
  10. I go to therapy in a few hours. She is retiring at the end of the year and I am already anxious. I have been looking into other therapy options. I thought teletherapy (facetime) would be convenient but pdoc does not recommend it. He thinks it would be hard to connect over the screen. One thing I am worried about is my distress tolerance. I get worried and anxious and I don't know how to handle it. My coping skills go out the window. I like to have someone to talk me down. My tdoc has been available out of sessions to talk with me over the phone. It helps immensely. I know I can't find that elsewhere and maybe it is not the healthiest way to respond to distress. I want to talk with her about dealing with these times. I also have a wrap book and workbook I thought we could go through. I have never made a plan for when I have symptoms. Would you bring the book today or just talk about the issue today and ask her about what plan of action?
  11. I have done both in clinic and at home. They get more information at the clinic and since I have apnea they were able to get data with and without cpap. The bed was more comfortable than home. I had no problem sleeping. at home, you have a cannula in your nose so they can test respiration. And you wear some kind of monitor and a pulse ox on your finger. It looked like a lot, but they went over it with me. I think they need at least 5 hours and I took it off as soon as I could. It can detect what position you are in. They both had similar results. I want my husband to do an at home study. I can tell he has apnea. I think he would rather do it at home.
  12. I thought I had in my first post, but I realize I did not mention when he resource guards, he growls. It is scary. We just leave him alone. And he is marking, urinating indoors. Those were the things I called her about and she said we would need to make changes. She mentioned sleeping on our bed as a possible problem. I just took off from there. i did ask about crate training. She did not recommend it for him, but this was over the phone. She has not met him. My husband does see the growling and marking and some other things as problems, but he feels it is my dog and I should take care of it and I am at a loss. thank you for responding. I feel alone in this
  13. Oh, no. I am frustrated that I don’t think my husband will do his part. Like, if she says our dog has to stay off the furniture, for example, and I am the only one enforcing it, nothing will change. I don’t expect a lot from the trainer except to tell us what we should be be doing and how. My son lives with us too, he is working at a camp for the summer and my daughter is home from college for the summer. She is the only one that tries to do anything I am doing now with obedience training. Right now, our dog has a lot of freedom. We keep the back door open a bit so he can come and go from the house to the yard during the day when we are home. He sleeps at the foot of our bed, he has free reign of the house, his toys are out. it will be a big change for us to control any of this. I just don’t think my husband will do it. I have not talked with him yet. I know he will not want to spend any more money. I feel like I threw it away with the first 2 trainers. I guess it is not a rush, he has been doing these behaviors for awhile. but she said we are reinforcing them because he has found they work. If he growls we stay away, for example.
  14. I got my dog at 9 mo off of Craigslist. He is 2 1/2 now. He is bonded to me. he has some behaviors like resource guarding and now he is marking indoors. He used to bark and lunge on leash at bigger dogs, but does not do that anymore. i have gone through 2 trainers with little change. my dog had a vet exam today. He is walking funny so I brought him early for his annual exam and shots. His right hip was in pain so they did xrays which seem normal, but a specialist will review them, anyways, I described his behaviors to the vet and he recommended a trainer. I actually found someone else who seems really good. The trainer said we would have to be dedicated to making changes or it would be a waste of time. I can afford the consult fee. the thing is, I have to get my husband on board and he already thinks I spent too much. I can’t make changes on my own. she said the behaviors won’t go away on their own.
  15. I used to have many short episodes of dp/dr where I would feel like I was waking from a dream, but it was real. I know everything that is going on and who I am. I may lose pieces of a conversation but not much. It startles me. It used to scare me. Now, I know it is dissociation and with me it gets worse with anxiety. I still have a lot of anxiety but it is much better than in the past. And, the dissociation decreased. Lately, it has been popping up, but at unusual times. It happens in the computer lab at work which is not stressful to monitor the computer use. Today it happened at a group event but it makes more sense. There were many people in the room. My tdoc is retiring and i got real antsy looking for someone new. I finally decided to put the search on hold. She does not retire until Dec. But, I feel anxious. Like, I am worried about making a mistake.
  16. Thanks @tryp I finally bought the ebook
  17. Now I am thinking of canceling the video appt and start looking for someone new closer to when my tdoc retires
  18. My therapist is retiring in Dec. I am glad she gave me a lot of time to process and find a new therapist. I called my insurance and they approved 3 EAP visits that I could use to see different tdocs. I saw one, she seemed fine. I don't know what to look for really, I just want to connect. So, I was able to keep my appt with tdoc after meeting that other tdoc Now, I decided to try video therapy (like facetime). I found a company and they assigned a therapist. My first meeting is on W 6/26. They do not take EAP, but they take my insurance. The lady from insurance was helpful, but I am still confused. I don't need any preauthorization. But, she sounded like I will not be able to see old tdoc once I switch. I want to at least say goodbye. I texted her and she will call back. Has anyone gone through this process? I have changed tdocs before and said goodbye and switched but I want to be able to have at least one more appt Update: I talked with tdoc. She said,yes, that I can not continue to see both. She suggested I have my appt on 6/26 and have a farewell appt with her 6-27 Also, she wondered why I am so anxious and getting everything changed now instead of waiting until she retires. I was hoping i could just check out some tdocs without committing. That is not how it works, though. The insurance woman said I could interview them over the phone.
  19. I have never taken xanax. I used to take klonopin 1 mg nightly. When I was in the hospital they took me off it abruptly and I felt seasick, dizzy in the morning. Not anything terrible but unpleasant.
  20. I don’t notice it affecting my mental health. I had a hysterectomy in my late 40s with ovaries left intact, so I have to go by other signs. I am 55. But, when my son started weaning from breastfeeding, I had my first psychotic break. Don’t know if they are related but it was a hormonal change.
  21. Yes, I like my pdoc and my tdoc, but I don’t know if someone else could help me with some issues I have with anxiety and fatigue. And, my tdoc is retiring and there are only so many options with my insurance.
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