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About dreadOHdreads

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    Alphanumerically rhombused! Mathmatical!

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    Being a mama to my two doggies and kitties. Being a wife to my lovely husband. Being a big sister to my little brother. Aaaaaaand...VIDEO GAYMES!

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  1. There is a software that is free that accomplishes the same thing as glasses do- only better in my opinion. It adjusts the light from your monitor depending on the time of day. I use it and it really helps soften the light at night. It also prevents my eyes from feeling strained from using the PC at the end of the day. http://justgetflux.com/
  2. Tips on dealing with sleep paralysis Preventing and coping with sleep paralysis Paralyzed at night: Is sleep paralysis normal
  3. What you are experiencing are episodes of sleep paralysis. I have expierenced them since I was in elementary school, although it wasn't until highschool that I finally found something online that explained what it was. In a nutshell, your brain for the most part disables your ability to move your muscles and arms 'n legs. It also moves yourself from a wake state to dreaming. When this process happens more slowly than usual you become aware of the fact that you can't move. Since you're in a semi dream state you can get weird sensations, sounds, and hallucinations. For me, I used to panic. I would try to scream but I only would breathe harder. I could open my eyes and look around, but everything was distorted. I often see shadows walking and buzzing around the room. When I was little I remember a time where a shadow dinosaur was snapping at my face making very scary noises. Of course I was scared to death and thought I was going to die. Sometimes I see actual people, but somewhat blurred, walk into the room. Like, I'll see my husband come in and walk around but I can't call out to him. So yeah, the Seroquel is probably messing with your sleep habits. It may go away, if not you can talk to your doctor about it to see if there is any way to help it. However I learned the best way to deal with it is to educate yourself on what it is. Then, knowing what all can happen it's important to try to explain to yourself that what you are experiencing is not real and try not to panic- if you panic it only makes it worse. I've found that as soon as I start to feel that vibrating feeling if I start to try to move and wiggle my body I could snap myself out of it before it became full blown. Lastly, statistically episodes are more likely to happen when you are sleeping on your back for some reason. So in bed try to sleep on your side. I also noticed that it would happen if I try to take a short nap knowing that I had to wake up for something soon. I think my mind gets more active when I enter sleep when anticipating something, so it triggers sleep paralysis.
  4. Your situation is similar to what I experienced about a year ago. Just wanting to share my battle with the pain I had and what I went through. I started to have pain and inflammation in my trapezieus muscle on my back. For me it was new, I'd never had any type of pain in my body that wasn't related to an injury. It got so severe I had to put my arm in a sling to keep from pulling on my shoulder. I also slept in a recliner. The pain spread to my hip as well and at times I had to use crutches to get around- even around the house. My feet and ankle were very sore too which made walking long distances impossible. (My hubby had to push me in a wheelchair when we would go in stores) I also got these hard knots that would sometimes appear and swell up which were extremely painful if anything bumped them. My right had would swell at times too. It was horrible. I felt like my body was breaking down. My vision in my left eye also became fuzzy and the muscles in it became very weak. I also had tremors and numbness in my toes sometimes. All I could do some days was sit in a recliner and make origami. :/ My primary doctor was very patient with me and tried different medications to help me. He tried Sulindac and Neurontin to try to help. It didn't help much. He ordered an MRI of my brain to rule out Multiple Sclerosis and did an array of lab tests. Nothing showed up. He sent me to get an xray of my spine to check for any bone spurs of abnormalities. That came back clear. So eventually I got referred to a neurologist who did his examination. He didn't find anything. I also was referred to a rheumatologist to get examined. Nothing there either. In between all of this I went to a couple of urgent care places when it would all flare up at once. Sometimes they'd give me a few days work of oxycodone. Other places gave me a few refills on muscle relaxers and tramadol. I just had to adjust my life whenever I had bad flare ups and take the meds I was given. At this point my husband had decided my pain was psychosomatic, but he didn't tell me this until months after this had all dissolved. My mom had threw out the "it's all in your head" deal once and I got so angry and refused to believe it. How could all of this be linked to my mental illness??? At the time I didn't have a psychiatrist because my last one dropped me due to not accepting my diagnosis from previous doctors. She eventually refused to change meds again because she said she thought it was just a personality disorder etc etc, that's a whole 'nother story. After 5 months of this horrible suffering it finally slowly started to fade away. It didn't leave any traces. That made me feel so confused and angry that nothing could be pinned down as the source to all of this. Recently I stopped taking my Depakote after 6 months of being on it and my weight going from 130 to 159. I was terrified of gaining more- I had ALWAYS been skinny. So I just dropped my Depakote. That was almost a month ago and I haven't told my doctor. I see him next week so I will discuss it then. But since I dropped it my stability has been waivering and my paranoia has been returning. Then last week the same twinge of pain and aching that started in my trapezieus on my right side appeared again on my left. It was a slap in the face. I really think that my mental issues are the cause of my pain, and that is extremely hard for me to say.
  5. The times I OD'd I had my husband at home next to me. One time he was asleep in the same room as me. Twice when I was admitted I was a mess and once I wasn't. It's just a case by case thing really. Insight in this instance, in my interpretation, is just the times where you are a mess (suicidal, wanting to hurt yourself/ others, etc) but outwardly don't appear to be to that point. It's up to you to verbally express what your feeling are/ what you intend to do. In doing so that creates a false image of you being more stable and not requiring inpatient care. Now, if you are actively psychotic I can see how this would not really apply. That you would be so detached from everything that calmness would be near impossible. However with depression, bipolar, and others it is quite a possibility.
  6. I used to be obsessed in elementary school with plucking my nose hairs out with tweezers. It would usually leaves sores and scabs too. I've never told my family about it. I would also pull out multiple eyelashes at a time. When I hit puberty, I would pluck out my pubic hair and leg hair obsessively. That was more to due with me feeling ashamed. I don't know what compelled me to pluck my nose hairs.
  7. I am Bipolar and this is what I experience also. While inpatient during the doctor consult the doctor commented on how aware I was about my illness. I've had pdocs who haven't truly believed that I was Bipolar and tried to push Borderline on me. When depressed or when my mind is racing I put forth this outer shell and just get quiet and it's hard to see what all I'm feeling on the inside. The times I overdosed the doctors were confused because I wasn't really erratic. Thanks for posting this Wonderful Cheese.
  8. And this isn't? C'mon it's open to whatevers here. Lighten up. Nice share!
  9. Well, unfortunately it takes some trial and error to find the right combo. It only took me like 5 years and that's on the low end of the spectrum. It's kinda like in math class where you have to find how many different combinations are possible out of a set of given numbers. Like Paxil + Lithium + Abilify = moods under control but more depression Paxil + Depakote + Abilify = better mood control and lessened depression but more intrusive thoughts etc etc You also have to take into consideration how long you actually give that combination of meds to work and the tweaking of each med amount. There are many many factors that can play into things. For you right now, here is the list of $4 meds at Walmart: http://i.walmartimages.com/i/if/hmp/fusion/customer_list.pdf Paxil is on there and Lithium. How long did you give your AD + Lithium a chance? Some side effects go away after a few weeks/ months. Then some medicines offer savings programs to reduce your copay with limited restrictions (can't have Medicare/ Medicaid). Depakote ER http://www.depakoteer.com/pdf/co-pay-card.pdf Abilify https://www.abilifyassistprogram.com/ Seroquel https://www.seroquelxr.com/support-resources/monthly-savings.aspx Then you have the general med assistance cards: http://www.needymeds.org/indices/discountcards.htm I don't mean to overload you, but at the same time I just want you to know that there are many options out there for you I can give you more personal experiences regarding the paranoia thing as well too.
  10. I think it could be a positive thing if done right. In many Disney Channel live action shows the kid characters are often portrayed so one sided. Like the always confident kid where things always go their way, the geeky kid that tries but things always end up going array, the blonde chick who always happy, etc etc. At least this character shows that there are many parts to a person and that optimism can't always work, that it may take some motivation and belief in one's self to get things done, and also that you can be your worst critique.
  11. I get moderate - severe paranoia when I'm depressed. So much that I was suspected to be schizoaffective. For years my doctors have tried treating this and the intrusive thoughts with atypical antipsychotics. Recently my new pdoc tried the mood stabilizer plus SSRI approach. I found once my depression was being treated and moods stabilized the paranoia/ intrusive thoughts went away. What meds have you tried? What have/ have not worked?
  12. Yay I'm happy for you. I was approved my first try without and attorney very very quickly. May your life start to get a little easier now.
  13. (In before lock) I don't have an answer to your question, but I did want to chime in: I agree with you 100%- rats are very smart. My most loved rat was named Iscars and I just left his cage open and gave him full run of our bedroom. He knew his name, snuggled with me, groomed me, and was just wonderful. His life was too short though. He developed tumors in his abdominal cavity and surgery would have been too expensive AND may have not even made a difference.
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