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whatif

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  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    Oregon
  1. Ok... it's none of your business but here.. I am allowed to make up to $931 per month and still qualify for QMB. they look at 50% of my earnings from my side job not 100% of it. My ssdi is only $757. Once I'm doing well enough in my side work that I make over that $931, I no longer get QMB and all I'll have is medicare until I make around $1,200 per month then I will no longer qualify for medicare. I know what I'm doing and I'm not trying to screw anyone over. My caseworker knows what I do and it's all good. report whatever the heck you want. I've been working for a year for next to nothing trying to build a fanbase by posing free photosets, camming for a lower price, and selling videos for cheap until I can afford to do all of this in HD. once I can do all of this in HD and I have a bigger following then I'll be able to charge more and make more money and I'll REPORT IT LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO. now lay off about this shit. Jesus.
  2. I never said I was some bigshot pornstar lol.. I make and sell homemade videos and I'm a camgirl. I do these things when I feel good, not as a career. I'd like to make it a career but for now it's just some extra pocket change. as I said in my intro, I've spent the last year laying the groundwork for making this a career. I don't make much yet. I don't do the kind of porn where I'm fucking random dudes on cam.. thats studio porn. mines home-made solo or with my bf. there's lots of sites to sell home-made porn. and I do live webcam shows through a camsite..
  3. "8-balls, Highballs, Deal Me in One Last Time" in the forum description implies a different vibe all together. One of glorification not of abstaining.
  4. The purpose of the thread was to see if and how weed helps you or if and how it brings on more issues.
  5. What weed does for me, yes I could take a bunch MORE prescribed chemicals that are hard on my liver and/or kidneys with side effects instead. Instead of a natural PLANT. seems legit. I'd rather smoke 0.5 grams of a plant every day and NOT take another fist full of pills. Smoke a single leaf of atropa belladonna while you're at it, Its all natural! Natural stuff can't hurt you ... right? That is the stupidest argument I have ever heard, and I hear it often. There are berries and mushrooms that can kill you and you still eat blueberries and portobellos I assume... smh
  6. What weed does for me, yes I could take a bunch MORE prescribed chemicals that are hard on my liver and/or kidneys with side effects instead. Instead of a natural PLANT. seems legit. I'd rather smoke 0.5 grams of a plant every day and NOT take another fist full of pills.
  7. Does this sound familiar? what can you tell me? I'm putting this here because I think I might be manic.
  8. Oh ok, well I'm open about everything and I don't care who knows what. all I care about is that my real name isn't discovered for safety reasons since I have a lot of people who lust after me lololol
  9. To each their own with weed.. some people, like my bf, weed is horrible.. but to others like me, it's the only way to be. to be stoned. I'm just not myself until I've had my first bonghit of the day. Sober, my anxiety and social anxiety are high, and my depression is low
  10. What do you mean 'indexed by google'? Do you think my signature is ok? I assumed a mod or admin would tell me if it's not. I don't plan on using this place to gather business. I just added the tiny twitter link and thats all I was planning
  11. Thanks I figured not much would shock such a group, with as many intense and extreme individuals as I assume there are as far as the ups and downs, I like to help people who are down when I can.. and get some encouragement and perspective when I'm feeling down.
  12. I've been debating stopping weed for years. I want to stop weed for the same reason I don't like taking my meds. I don't like knowing that I NEED something to HELP me live. It's like needing a cane to walk. I can't do it on my own. weed is part of my meds. My doc doesn't say she's for or against weed. I think she can see how it helps me so she's not telling me shes against it. Weed helps my OCD because it's hard to focus enough to obsess when you're stoned. It's harder to worry when your mind is hazy. what if this what if that what if this what if that... there's less of that when I'm high. Weed helps my depression because it's harder to cry when I'm high.. more detached. it helps me look at whats going on and actually see and think rather than being overcome with emotion or irrational worry. What about you?
  13. Hello, I found this board and its pretty amazing.. and huge! I've been starting to blog about mental illness and I'm interested in starting a mental illness awareness channel on youtube. It's cool to find a place with like minded folks. My current place in life is this.. I'm on disability, and trying to be 'self-made' in the adult entertainment industry. worked for several companies 10 years ago where they paid me to be in videos and I've worked behind the scenes as well. My boyfriend at the time was a porn producer and we had much fun! now 10 years later I have rekindled my passion for exhibitionism and I've spend the last year paving my way, laying down groundwork to establish myself and I have. But 2013 is where I really begin to shine! (unless depression knocks me down for a few months.. AGAIN) Anyways.. I have a wonderful boyfriend, mother, and cat. I love to cook and craft. I have a good life, I just cant always see it that way. I look forward to getting to know people here
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