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    The Abyss of Tartarus

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  1. It's always good to hear about potential side effects I think. My dad was on Tramadol for a broken leg and wound up addicted to it. I know y'all are saying mild opiate, but for him it was highly addictive. When he died, we found bottles and bottles of it stashed all over the place. Never imagined he'd get addicted to it--but then he'd been an alcoholic all his life so it was probably another addictive thing for him....
  2. This! I don't get scared either because it's how my body has coped since forever. I'm in EMDR to process the original traumas and let the parts kind of talk to one another and learn to not dissociate at bad times--like driving.
  3. It's a crappy day--time for some soup:)

  4. Have you tried any EMDR therapy? If you've been more stable during the year it wouldn't be a bad thing to do. I have c-ptsd and when my abusers were out of my life, and I was far enough along in regular therapy/med compliant, I was stable enough to do it. It's hard work and the memories are shitty but afterwards it feels better. Maybe it'll help you too... Def agree, treat yourself like super-amazing right now. Do whatever it is you want, and let yourself feel good about it. These trigger-versaries are hard to get through but it sounds like you're working hard at it and have a good support system in place.
  5. Another mercury retrograde....bitch alert:ninja:

    1. TakeAChillPill


      Holy S***.  Is that why I feel like I have PMS but my period is not due for 10 days?  I just don't feel like myself.  Bitch mode activated here as well.  

  6. Migraine gone and the angries have left...back to my "normal" self today:goofy:

  7. My new fave word is "No!" I'm getting good at it too...no no no no no no!haha Boundaries are good!

  8. Alone on a holiday is *way* better than being in a drama....if ur alone, embrace the peace with gratitude. I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want ....even run with scissors....just cuz I can? Hope everyone has a good 4th!

    1. M@ri


      YES to all of it, except maybe not the running with scissors part :)

  9. I feel ya...acne at any age is lousy! I have to just chime in with skincare...if your hormones are balanced and stuff, a good skincare to try is Sage Skincare. It's super expensive IMO but it's life changing. They have cleansers, moisturizers, everything and it's all amazing. I used it religiously when I was modeling cuz breakouts were the bane of my existence. They do skin consults too so u get the right stuff to match ur skin...and nowadays they do aging skincare or whatever u call it, cuz not just teens get acne and they can combine antiaging stuff with acne stuff. If I could afford it I'd be back on it in a heartbeat! I also agree about Tarte foundations are great!! The Rainforest one is excellent! If you want sheerer coverage, Honeybee Gardens makes a pressed powder foundation that's amazing and smells like honey....all their stuff is safe for acne skin and totes the bomb!! HTH? BD
  10. Busy.Fucking.Bee

  11. This is why it's messed up....my labs are good, I'm in the average range for me and the doc thinks it's grief/ depresssion. Even my cortisol levels were normal. The only things wonky were elevated heavy metals of two kinds, but that was from when I was drinking pepto constantly for my stomach... but now the levels are normal. Yea, two shoe sizes...not width either, length...freaky right?! My slippers fall off if I try to go upstairs in them. When I had gasteoparesis, I lost a literal shit ton of weight and everything shrunk up. And I gained the weight back after I recovered, and hit my goal weight...which was what I was before I got sick...which was also about 15lbs more than my skinnier, cut-abs weight, but I was ok with it. Now the number in the scale upsets me. I'm still shaped the same only I'm expanded in the places women hold fat...and my belly/baby bump. I thought I'd just gain all over and be round, but I'm still shapely, just big like Anna Nichole...plus the tummy bump. Im seeing a nutritionist to see if there's some kind of diet plan, and I'm meeting the guy at the gym next week to try it out. I'm happy to work out if I'm going to see results...if my diet isn't going to help fix things I may as well eat crap and be happy. maybe tmi but I'm scheduled for a mammo too. It's time....I was avoiding it, but I read a certain type of tumor can cause the symptoms I have. I'm sure it's not that but better check it out too....,
  12. I tried to cutout any fructose and I don't drink, maybe a glass of wine every few months or so. I'd love to start walking and maybe burn off extra calories, but I know I'd have to follow up with firming exercises. Seems like alot of work. I used to eat lousy, not sleep and still be thin and healthy. They need to harness the power of 20-year olds and give it to others cuz I'd love to have the energy I had when I was 20!!
  13. valium i could take by the handful and not have it do anything to me. They tried it prior to surgery once and i would have been better off just having a Pez. totes agree with dtac. never tried vistaril but it was on my backup meds list to be used with valium like you're getting. Its milder than Ativan from what my shrink said and with less side effects. combining the vistaril and valium should help with anxiety and sleeplessness. Hope it does the trick for ya!
  14. Did I miss any discussion of you trying Xanax XR...I think that's the name if the extended release one. Supposedly u get half the dose at once and the rest over the course of hours. Some docs who don't prescribe regular Xanax do that instead. I have GAD and panic attacks and every other form of anxiety possible. My shrink has me on Xanax 'for life' and doesn't believe I will ever need/be able to get off it, not because of dependency but because of the anxiety being brain-wired....unless they can rewire my brain, I'll be on it forever....like seizures are due to over stimulation with electrical impulses--and they can't be regulated without a device implanted in the brain...it's that way with my anxiety. In my heart I think one day I'll b off Xanax and have processed my traumas and stuff so I can just use regular coping skills...but the way it was explained with my brain being this way, now I'm not so sure. Not to hijack ur thread, i just think it's dumb of some docs to avoid a med that works well because u have to dose it more frequently. I take my puny .25mg several times a day...total for a day is 2mg, my Rx is for 4mg taken as 1mg 4xa day...so I'm taking a small amount. There def isn't a high or anything...just less terror...def not an addictive feeling for sure. so maybe the Xanax XR might be a consideration for u? Hope u find something cuz anxiety is a real beast!
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