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    I'm a bit of a geek who loves Star Trek, computers, reading, singing, studying the medical field, perusing theories of Quantum mechanics, rainy days, good wine, and attempts to find meaning in an otherwise dreary existence.

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  1. Some DV (domestic violence) shelters have it down... but most... well, they just remove all access to the internet except for staff - who of course use things like facebook and other IP logging, GPS using, sites to their heart's content. Even to the extent of disallowing parents to continue access to homeschooling programs. Why? Cause computers show your location.... No - they show your IP, and someone has to know how to log into a site that shares it openly to even view it... and then, it says the city. I get that... if the person you're hiding from is a geek that knows how to get it. But that's not an address. Also -- your cell phone has an IP too. Not as specific. But good enough if you're changing states. So, rather than allowing internet access (needed), or getting a VPN (like smart shelters do), they just deny wifi and let people use cell phones in any way they like. It's lazy. It's stupid, and when someone who knows this shit comes around... they don't care to hear it... So you hear their bullshit and very wrong and laughable explanations on how tech works, and not only get angry... but also really worry about the person that comes here in the future that is hiding from someone who's actually tech proficient, and what may transpire because of it.
  2. Fine.. On a different note, I noticed the Etodolac mention in your sig, and I'm curious how it compares to rx level Naproxen for you? (One of those is roughly the equivalent of 2 1/2 OTC Naproxen pills) Is there really a major difference in effectiveness, or is it more minor? I'm wondering because the ER here pushes a similar med, Toradol, as if it were the equivalent of 1mg IV Dilaudid...and I'm wondering if the stronger NSAIDS really are significantly better (minus that obvious hype). I have to refuse them because I won't take the risk of causing a MAOI-HTN event to be mysteriously untreatable. But I do wonder how they actually perform...
  3. That's not inaccurate, but please understand, there's a good reason why MI med toxicologies are either misrepresented or hard to find. The majority of people can be helped out of of their depression/suicidal thoughts. Most suicidal attempts end in gratefulness it didn't work. It isn't overall beneficial to point to flaws that could prevent finding real help.
  4. I know they're there, I've found them before - and for my MI, it works. But I've gone from a high end Mayo Clinic Psych who naturally understood that, to a Resident --- and she can't seem to find any viable research showing that dopa-agonists work for treatment resistant depression... her exact words, it only works for Parkinsons (or other brain dxs). (What other brain dxs???? A) For one..?) B) I know she's wrong, and I found and have the studies on my old computer, but not with me.. and I no longer have access to my university study database either. If anyone can send me copies of the research to give to her (Mirapex is mostly named), I would be deeply grateful! Thanks! P.S. I'm going to cross-post this into the MDD forum just in case that may turn up other results, so please leave up the duplicate long enough to get additional responses. I'd appreciate it, thanks!
  5. For me, when my ADHD isn't strong enough to interfere with reading.. I fall into the book. I'm emersed in that world and outside noise and elements fall away. But, when my ADHD rises in severity - reading is like pulling teeth. I can read textbooks, websites, and studies well enough.. but they're broken down into very structured categories. You can have your mind wonder off, refocus on the text and lose nothing. With real books, however, when my mind skips out of the story, I lose the bigger context. I can read and understand the individual sentences just fine... but how it relates to the overall story -the meaning - is lost. As a result, I will find myself using my finger to follow along and mentally focus on each word. In my case, it has nothing to do with reading ability. It's a physical redirect for my wandering attention. Sometimes that's the only way I can get it to sink in. Reading like that takes the joy out of it thou, so I stopped reading for fun altogether.
  6. Exactly. I actually just did an MRI today to look for spinal compression in my neck. My neurologist said that finding something would likely allow me access to the pain medication he already believes I need, but can't give me due to this mess. I honestly don't know how I want it to come back.. A part of me is actually hoping he's right about me having a spinal cord injury. All so that a doctor's ass is covered enough to prescribe how they wish to - and I could actually treat my pain. So fucked up.
  7. Just to be clear, I'm not blaming addicts - I'm blaming society that believes that if only these evil medications could be stopped, there wouldn't be any addicts. That nobody would do drugs and all would be saved. There are of course instances of doctors prescribing much higher doses and amounts than are justified to people who have never been on opiates before, and aren't aware of the dependency element or potential addiction. Adolescents and the Elderly come to mind. I sympathize with that & that was negligent. However, in the current environment, I think you'd be hard pressed to find that naïveté anymore. But even then, there's a difference between chemical dependency and addiction. Some people are lucky and get neither, some become dependent, and the unlucky find they have the chemistry where it becomes more about the high than pain relief. But, what one does after that is a direct action and choice. Honestly, I believe in free will, so if they decide to chase that high, that's their choice. It is a decision though. It may be hard to resist in many, but that doesn't alleviate personal choice - and ultimate responsibility. It's those who aren't addicts, who want to believe that it's not their loved ones fault/choice/decision at all - that simply taking it overrode everything and decided their actions for them - That, I hate. They can't bear to think their loved one shares any responsibility, and in turn, are now crusading to keep anyone from having access. Addiction isn't the drug. Addiction is a behavioral way of coping. I won't bother refuting the individual things I didn't actually say. --- Thank you for those who showed support for my situation & how messed up this system has become. And, to clarify, the Fentenyl bit was just an unfiltered process of thought rant.. mostly based on, "fine, you try to end opiates only to bring this killer drug onto the streets - fuck you.. I'll just use that then, AND I'll save money off prescription costs." Of course, the logistics of that are ultimately idiotic, so it ruled out itself. I'm actually a firm believer in having prescriptions.
  8. I'm so fucking tired of this damn war on drugs. The persecution of doctors and even pharmacists (YES - PHARMACISTS are losing their licences in FL for filling "too many" 100% legit scripts - not forgeries, but by doctors with active DEA credentials appropriately medicating -- not some crazy ass amount of oxycodone or worse). It leaves people like me, in chronic hard-core pain (that's only gotten worse) crying in bed from the pain. Doctors are too afraid to treat their patients. Meanwhile.. it's all about the poor, innocent, helpless victims of a world where pain meds exist and they've gone out of their way to get shit illegally - over -and over - and over again in order to feed a habit rather than face up to their internal demons. And it's a DISEASE. REALLY? REALLY? FUCK THAT SHIT! It's a CHOICE. Mental issues and a physical predisposition exists, but taking one damn 5mg hydrocodone does not make someone an addict for life and take free will out of one's control. People are dying from Fentanyl made to look like other shit. Well, it is an illegal drug market about money and regular deaths when dealers get pissed off. What the hell do you really expect. Yet they're the "Victims". No. Victims don't make consistent choices over the course of months or even years to do something they're fully aware of the consequences of and decide they don't care and would rather be high and risk it. And still continue to risk it, knowing it's on the market. What do they do - buy test strips. It's like personal responsibility no longer exists. Probably because politicians sons and daughters are getting addicted. It couldn't possibly be the environment they were raised in, or that they have personal issues -- nope, it's gotta be caused by some evil in the shadows that came after their poor, innocent children and hurt them. You don't become an addict overnight and you don't get over it overnight. It's a long slow process made up of many choices. People aren't so idiotic that they don't know what that choice they're making is. Noo.. addiction is all about the drugs being there; whereas, mental illness is a conscious personal failing you should just be able to magically get over & not doing so is a choice. I just saw a neurologist. He said I'd just have to live with the pain cause I've been on all the psych meds.. and throwing opiates at it isn't a reasonable thing. ...... Yet, after all the psych meds that were never developed to handle fibromyalgia.. the OFFICIAL medication treatment guideline says : OPIATES. And the really sad thing is - it works for mine. Honestly, .. I've thought about going and buying the fake shit that's actually fentanyl, dissolving it in two quarts (or even gallons) of liquid, and dosing it in tsp. Actually seems pretty damn cost effective considering the price of medications. I'm not going to do it. There's probably other shit in there that'll mess with my MI chemistry/meds too. But I considered it. This system is fucked.
  9. When I lived in FL, trigger point injections were no big deal. Walk-in Clinics, PCP offices... You could get them. What do you have to do here? See a fucking hospital specialist - with a wait of a week or 3 months (depending on if you're an existing patient). WTF? And all these idiots OD'ing on opiates has scared doctors even more & has evoked ER rules like - they can't RX codine meds for any chronic conditions. Migraines, Fibro, even spinal disk issues - you're getting NSAIDS, or at best, lidocaine patches. As a rule, I've never gone to the ER for pain. I knew better in FL. Here, my PCP happens to be a resident who also does rounds at the hospital. The PCP office schedule was so booked, she couldn't force me in today when my Fibro flared up majorly. So she told me to go to the ER. (I'll have to ask her why later.) I came away with the coveted (hah!) lidocaine patches. The ER doc actually apologized, explained the rules, and said the patches likely wouldn't do shit for the Fibro, but to try them anyway. She was right. They're not systemic and are worthless. Fast forward 24 hours of pain and throwing NSAIDS and Lyrica at it.. only to have the tension from all the pain start to trigger my neck spasticity. (Yep, the story connects..) Well, fuck this bullshit! I have 1% lidocaine meant to transfer into a nasal spray bottle (cause my old clinic PCP and I couldn't find a compounding pharmacy to create the 2% spray ENT's use) for my facial pain. I also have a bag of needles (cause the pharmacy up here couldn't just sell one) for Depo IM injections. Fuck It. I'll do my own damn trigger point injections! I feel like I can really only get one muscle safely, (I pops out with just skin over it if I turn my head the right way), but it's close enough to my brain stem that the spreading out effect of the lidocaine dulls general pain a bit as well. The remainder of what I took out went into where my hospital IV had been - cause why the fuck not. It's a laughable dose based on the Fibro IV treatments being done. Akin to eating one M&M vs the entire bag. I'm new to the whole self injection thing, save the depo. But after 24 hours and no ability to receive treatment cause Fri was spent in the ER - so I just have to deal with it cause specialists don't work weekends. My giving of all fucks is gone. I'm glad for the insurance - extremely so... But this shit is broken as hell. FYI, not suggesting others try this - it's not the smartest thing to do, and super easy to fuck up with very bad consequences. Don't follow my lead please. I willfully (with research) chose to be an idiot. I just needed to share and vent.
  10. You're really going to need the lab work. 100mg a day isn't advised and you can quickly damage your liver - hence the importance of the testing. You need to catch it early so you can stop the med and not have major issues. The only actual approved alternative dosing schedule I see listed is 50mg M-F and 100mg on Sat (Blue text below). I'm not sure if increasing the dose actually increases the efficiency or if it just increases toxicity. You're basically just blocking opioid (feel good) receptors, which is why they use it in Alcoholism too.. but if eating doesn't actually make you feel good, it's gonna have limited effect. I'd also test your liver before upping the dose to get a baseline. But, no, it's not optional. Looking at the Naltrexone/Bupropion combo, the dosing drops the Naltrexone to 8mg 4x a day. Since bupropion is also used to fix sexual issues that happen with SSRI's, I do think that adding the opioid blockage could change how it works and you may not have the same side effects. Even more interesting though, IMO, is that they're now combining Zonegran and Bupropion:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zonisamide & https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bupropion/zonisamide Anorexia does seem to be a possible side effect however. I would be curious about lowering the Naltrexone to the 8mg type dosing, and adding Zonegran and Bupropion. Unlike the Bupropion, It doesn't look like the Zonegran would change the level of Naltrexone you can take, but that's a very cursory laymen opinion. (However, it does state elsewhere on the page linked below, that when you need to reverse the Naltrexone blockage, you use benzodiazepines - and they're processed through the same liver function as the Zonegran. So, it doesn't sound like liver issues would be a factor there.) I know this is probably a bit complicated for you. But it could give you an alternative to the higher dosing and constant lab work. It may be worth running it past your doc for their opinion and further research. "Alternative Dosing Schedules Once the patient has been started on Naltrexone hydrochloride, 50 mg every 24 hours will produce adequate clinical blockade of the actions of parenterally administered opioids (i.e., this dose will block the effects of a 25 mg intravenous heroin challenge). A flexible approach to a dosing regimen may need to be employed in cases of supervised administration. Thus, patients may receive 50 mg of Naltrexone hydrochloride every weekday with a 100 mg dose on Saturday, 100 mg every other day, or 150 mg every third day. The degree of blockade produced by Naltrexone may be reduced by these extended dosing intervals. There may be a higher risk of hepatocellular injury with single doses above 50 mg, and use of higher doses and extended dosing intervals should balance the possible risks against the probable benefits (see WARNINGSand CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY, Clinical Trials, Individualization of Dosage).:" https://www.drugs.com/pro/naltrexone.html
  11. It's in the sig. The biggest thing is, her and her medical professional agree on the treatment. It's a case worker who has nothing to do with prescribing that's saying this. That in and of itself is a problem. I'm happy to use my best judgement based on my own history and research to belay her fears on that and share my opinion that what they're doing together makes sense. It would be horrible if a case manager got in the way of a working treatment.
  12. It was probably PET. I actually sent my new pdoc a message asking if there was any diagnostic worth to having one done. They're able to see which sections aren't operating correctly (which is interesting in and of itself).. but that doesn't necessarily equate to them knowing how to target it or why it's occurring. I'd like a look at my hippocampus more than anything. Previous imaging, I think MRI, could show the overall gray matter loss over time.. but other than finding that Lithium was neuroregenerative, I don't think they studied individual meds. It's definitely not in anyone's head.
  13. Oh, and it's a bit off topic, but you should also check out Bromelain (It's stuff in a pineapple's core). I heard about it flipping though Dr. Oz of all things.. but I did my research and it's really promising with inflammatory markers. Most of the research is focused on cancer, but most of the markers are the same ones we're seeing in things like MI and Fibromyalgia too. My GP at the time was rather surprised and happy that I was taking it. I just need to remember to take it more often.. lol. It's a take up to two 2400gdu/500mg pills after food 3x a day (based on research amounts, not bottle instructions). I went with the more expensive SuperiorLabs version.
  14. Thanks for the links! I'll have to check them out a bit more once things calm down. This is what I take: https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/nutrition-now-b-complex-adult-gummy-vitamins-strawberry/ID=prod6155790-product?skuId=sku6138856 I used to get it from Drugstore.com, but apparently they went out of business. The product got updated by the manufacturer, but all they did was switch the "color" (purple carrot juice concentrate) for (Black Carrot Juice Extract).. and got rid of a small amount of Inositol 7mg that was just used for added sweetness. Makes sense cause extract flavor is stronger than concentrate. I really like it because it doesn't have any added vitamins or minerals outside of B. That's rather hard to find. I normally take two, but I use it prn rather than daily. It'd be easy enough to check the individual daily %'s to see if any can become toxic. You didn't ask, but I also take Nutrigold Vitamin D3 Gold 2,000IU (x2) for my D3. It's held up consistently in my bloodwork, so I can vouch for the quality.
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